CLIVE BARKER, EAT YOUR HEART OUT. AND ALSO SUCK MY PUCKERED BUTTHOLE
Okay, so I tried my hand at a childrens book with, shall we say, sub-par results. Let's face it, it sucked a cock that even your dirty whore sister would turn down on principal. But a horror story? Can I do it? Shut the hell up and let me think......Yeah bitches, let's make it so. So cuddle up next to someone who won't mind you vomiting on them due to the horror. Turn down the lights. And if the person you're cuddling with decides to fondle you, I say go with it cuz the story isn't that good and you can always read it later. Prepare for....
"NIGHT OF THE ROBOT ZOMBIES FROM THE PLANET HELL!!!"
Part 1: When you're sleeping, the Tooth Fairy probably molests you
Tanner was a little bitch. That's why he was named Tanner. Fuck Tanner. Nevertheless, Tanner had one love in his grim life of being a little bitch. SCIENCE!!! He was a man of SCIENCE!!!! you might say. Or perhaps a pussy ass little bitch of SCIENCE!!! to be more accurate. One night, his alchoholic father of SCIENCE!!! put a gun in his mouth and escaped his bitch ass son the only way he knew how. By putting a bullet through his own skull. Tanner was sad. Mostly because his father's suicide note read, "Tanner, this is your fault for being such a little bitch. Hope you're happy you scum sucking prick. Love, Dad. P.S. You're absolutely adopted." One evening, while going through his father's many boxes of SCIENTIFIC!!! shit, Tanner came upon something amazing. The blueprints for an army of mechs that his father planned to use to murder his son in his crib. "Robots!" Tanner screamed. "With these plans I can take over the world and finally prove that I am the true king of SCIENCE!!!!" At that time a young man named Leonard Gronads was the reigning king of SCIENCE!!! and was far less of a little bitch than Tanner. It took three months for Tanner to build the robot army but as he sat in his lab, prepared to push the activation switch, he knew that his tireless efforts were well worth the wait. He laughed maniacally, sort of like this, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.........BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH........FUCK YOU!!!! and pushed the start button. FAILURE!!!! The robots ganged up and kicked his ass like he was a gay man at a Mayhem show. He was forced to push the fabled "Abort" button and end the lives of the entire robot army. The mechs fell to their knees and died as robots sometimes do. The next day he buried them all in the yard despite his mothers protest. He cried like a bitch. Inside his mother swallowed a handful of sleeping pills and downed them with a shot of Draino. She left no suicide note. She didn't think the little bitch deserved an explaination.
Well so far it's not very scary. But The Exorcist was boring and not scary for the first hour too so be fuckin' patient! Next time it'll be gooder.PANIK
"NIGHT OF THE ROBOT ZOMBIES FROM THE PLANET HELL!!!"
Part 1: When you're sleeping, the Tooth Fairy probably molests you
Tanner was a little bitch. That's why he was named Tanner. Fuck Tanner. Nevertheless, Tanner had one love in his grim life of being a little bitch. SCIENCE!!! He was a man of SCIENCE!!!! you might say. Or perhaps a pussy ass little bitch of SCIENCE!!! to be more accurate. One night, his alchoholic father of SCIENCE!!! put a gun in his mouth and escaped his bitch ass son the only way he knew how. By putting a bullet through his own skull. Tanner was sad. Mostly because his father's suicide note read, "Tanner, this is your fault for being such a little bitch. Hope you're happy you scum sucking prick. Love, Dad. P.S. You're absolutely adopted." One evening, while going through his father's many boxes of SCIENTIFIC!!! shit, Tanner came upon something amazing. The blueprints for an army of mechs that his father planned to use to murder his son in his crib. "Robots!" Tanner screamed. "With these plans I can take over the world and finally prove that I am the true king of SCIENCE!!!!" At that time a young man named Leonard Gronads was the reigning king of SCIENCE!!! and was far less of a little bitch than Tanner. It took three months for Tanner to build the robot army but as he sat in his lab, prepared to push the activation switch, he knew that his tireless efforts were well worth the wait. He laughed maniacally, sort of like this, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.........BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH........FUCK YOU!!!! and pushed the start button. FAILURE!!!! The robots ganged up and kicked his ass like he was a gay man at a Mayhem show. He was forced to push the fabled "Abort" button and end the lives of the entire robot army. The mechs fell to their knees and died as robots sometimes do. The next day he buried them all in the yard despite his mothers protest. He cried like a bitch. Inside his mother swallowed a handful of sleeping pills and downed them with a shot of Draino. She left no suicide note. She didn't think the little bitch deserved an explaination.
Well so far it's not very scary. But The Exorcist was boring and not scary for the first hour too so be fuckin' patient! Next time it'll be gooder.PANIK