(no subject)
i think this is the most frustrated i have ever been in my entire life. For the first time EVER i'm out of the supergroup and i'm surrounded by people who don't know shit about me: even after 3 months. I've been the most charismatic, most social, most liked, most cool i've ever been before, and i feel like screaming out my fucking lungs. The fact that i get a healthy amount of play from the ladies in california, compared to none in university doesn't help.
I think alot of it has to do with the fact that here in the U.K. we go out to the clubs, as opposed to a cali house party. The difference? The whole going out to the club thing puts everything in a weird perspective. I feel like when i go out i can't approach a girl and have a conversation with her without her feeling like i am trying to spit game at her, when in reality, i'm not. I'm not trying to spit "game". I want to talk to you, joke with you, laugh with you, relate to each other, dance, and have a good time. The whole club scene shits on that. It makes every girl seem unapproachable because the fact that you're in a club seems to connotate that you are just out for pussy. I mean, i do want to score, but it's not in the perverted context that society wants to put it in. I'm not out there looking to "get fucked tonight" I'm looking to have a good time, and if things go right, maybe do a little something special for a lady.
It isn't that one-dimensional. Clubs can be amazing for going out with your friends and having an awesome time. I've had people recite some crazy stuff that i've done on the dance floors and have had no recollection of. I've had dance off's with the gayest dancing he/she that you could possibly imagine. But clubs still really arn't that place to go meet people. Everyone goes out with their own little clique and sticks with them on the dance floor. If you look out at it, it's just different groups of friends, out there, on the floor, not really homogenizing. It's not like with the boys where we roll to a dance together, but as soon as we hit the floor everyman's on the hunt for a honey to dance with. Maybe it's just me, but the wolf-pack scattering and seperating through the dance floor only to return to the den the next day and exchange war-stories doesn't exist here.
This is why you can't beat a house party. The house party takes that right balance of looks, steeze, and charisma to have a productive night with the ladies. Whereas at the club, if you are not looking like a demi-god, chances are you are going to be looked over by all the shallow drunk bitches: end game. But the house party is the witty bastard's ballpark. Even if you arn't Dorian Gray, the fact that you have good style and a personality makes up for it. You can go up to a girl, start talking with her, and let your personality flow, and do its thing. It gives you a chance to be real with people and let them see who you are and what you're about. It gives you the chance to joke,be practical jokers, relate to people, share funny-ass drunk memories together, and you know, be a social person (which i know by the way, is totally fucking ridiculous in this society) You arn't always going to get a honey's number, or hit it off, but at least you got a legitimate shot to be yourself, at least you got a shot to do your thing, and even if thing's don't go to plan, and you end up empty there's nothing to beat yourself up over because you were you. Just remember what del...
"Let it be her mistake...
If someone's a lost cause, there'll be someone up to start again"
I also feel like i'm becoming the most full of myself i've ever been before. I'm begining to make myself feel like i am the most complicated fucking guy around and that it's everyone else's fault that they don't get anything. And what the fuck is this talk about people not getting me?
What am i, fucking 13 again?