The Phone Rings, and She Screams...
Stab My Back, Its Better When I Bleed For You.
Sorry for the emo first line there...just listening to AAR, which will tend to make me write some emo lyrics in either my away message or on LJ.
While we're on the topic, however, let me tell you what's on my mind. I'm dealing with a lot of shit from one of my best friends, and its not really easy to just let go. Like another friend of mine told me, I'm not the kind of person to just let friendships die. Which is exactly why I am having a hard time.
I'm not good at pretending like its not bothering me, and why should I have to? I've approached him about it a few times, and he denies that anything is different. I know he's got homework to do, and committments to make, but i'm not asking him to give them up. I'd just like to have more than a superficial relationship, especially after it was so pure last semester. How many times do I have to be let down? I get close to someone, and then, for whatever reason, it falls apart.
You used to care about other people first, then yourself. That's how I am. Don't get me wrong, you need to make sure you're good before you can worry about others, but that's strikingly different than selfishness.
Forgive me for not being able to let it go. I wish it didn't eat at me. Its just that I expected more than to be treated like an acquaintance when we used to know each other inside and out. Go ahead, tell me I'm guilt tripping you. You shouldn't feel guilty for throwing me away.
Yes, that was rhetorical.
So much for the stressless semester, eh?
On to other things, because I'd like to end on a good note.
Well, not that its much an improvement to write about, but I got steroids, so that's kind of fun. I'm hoping they work positively in that they make me buff! Why did i get steroids? Because I'm as sick as a dog! Actually, I got antibiotics, nasal spray, decongestent/antihistamines, and prednisone. bad news was I woke up this morning at about 7.30 feeling like i was dead. good news is, i feel 100% better...not that i'm at 100%, but compared to this morning, i'm in a good spot. I ended up not having strep throat, but its all part of the sinus infection. my glads are swollen, my chest is congested, and my nose is just fucked up, but you know, i'm focusing on getting better, so thank god for prescription coverage.
I don't think that was the good note i was looking for, so i'll end with this:
I played the guitar today with my sis's boyfriend, and it was tons of fun. i learned "since u been gone," basically because its all power chords, but still, i think that's an accomplishment. it takes a lot of patience to be able to learn an instrument, and i just want to have it mastered right now. NOW NOW NOW. maybe it will be a training in patience if i keep it up.
Ok, more positive...that'll do.
goodnight lovers.
Sorry for the emo first line there...just listening to AAR, which will tend to make me write some emo lyrics in either my away message or on LJ.
While we're on the topic, however, let me tell you what's on my mind. I'm dealing with a lot of shit from one of my best friends, and its not really easy to just let go. Like another friend of mine told me, I'm not the kind of person to just let friendships die. Which is exactly why I am having a hard time.
I'm not good at pretending like its not bothering me, and why should I have to? I've approached him about it a few times, and he denies that anything is different. I know he's got homework to do, and committments to make, but i'm not asking him to give them up. I'd just like to have more than a superficial relationship, especially after it was so pure last semester. How many times do I have to be let down? I get close to someone, and then, for whatever reason, it falls apart.
You used to care about other people first, then yourself. That's how I am. Don't get me wrong, you need to make sure you're good before you can worry about others, but that's strikingly different than selfishness.
Forgive me for not being able to let it go. I wish it didn't eat at me. Its just that I expected more than to be treated like an acquaintance when we used to know each other inside and out. Go ahead, tell me I'm guilt tripping you. You shouldn't feel guilty for throwing me away.
Yes, that was rhetorical.
So much for the stressless semester, eh?
On to other things, because I'd like to end on a good note.
Well, not that its much an improvement to write about, but I got steroids, so that's kind of fun. I'm hoping they work positively in that they make me buff! Why did i get steroids? Because I'm as sick as a dog! Actually, I got antibiotics, nasal spray, decongestent/antihistamines, and prednisone. bad news was I woke up this morning at about 7.30 feeling like i was dead. good news is, i feel 100% better...not that i'm at 100%, but compared to this morning, i'm in a good spot. I ended up not having strep throat, but its all part of the sinus infection. my glads are swollen, my chest is congested, and my nose is just fucked up, but you know, i'm focusing on getting better, so thank god for prescription coverage.
I don't think that was the good note i was looking for, so i'll end with this:
I played the guitar today with my sis's boyfriend, and it was tons of fun. i learned "since u been gone," basically because its all power chords, but still, i think that's an accomplishment. it takes a lot of patience to be able to learn an instrument, and i just want to have it mastered right now. NOW NOW NOW. maybe it will be a training in patience if i keep it up.
Ok, more positive...that'll do.
goodnight lovers.