It had taken a while, but AJ had slowly moved away from the ghost she had become, slowly fleshing out into a kind of whole version of herself. Not quite whole, with Grace gone, but she was healing. It would take a long time yet, but it would happen.
She enjoyed this quiet time with Danny - enjoyed feeling him close, enjoyed feeling his hands in her hair, and the way he made sure that she was comfortable. It was intimate, yes, but she missed him, ached for him in a way that he wasn't ready to give her yet. And she understood why, because she felt the same. How could she possibly think about such a thing in the midst of such a tragedy? But the thoughts were there, the want and the need and the utter desperation - he was just finding ways to ignore it.
She hums thoughtfully, shifting just a bit so she could be more comfortable. "Tami's leaving - moving back to the mainland. They all think that I'm next in line to becoming head librarian. I guess we'll see how that works out.
"You're a shoe-in for it, babe. No doubt about it, you're gonna be top of the top in no time. Everyone loves you there, you're smarter than anyone, and you love what you do. Who can say they have the trifecta? No one. As for me? Steve led us on a spectacular chase yet again, and hand-grenaded another door. Same 'ol, same 'ol." The words were nearly whispered, his voice giving away just how drained he was. Since Grace's death, Danny had thrown himself too hard into his work, taking risks and doing things he would normally balk at because he just. didn't. care.
Working on the ends of the first section he'd combed out, he resisted the urge to kiss her bare shoulder, knowing it would bring the nausea to the surface in a heartbeat.
"You remember when Gracie was two, and she tried to tell the story about that bear at the zoo?" he asked suddenly, his hands still not stopping their movement as he spoke.
"I appreciate your faith in me. I don't want to get excited about it yet, because I don't think anything is set in stone, but ... I would really love that position. I've been there longer than anyone else, I know how the library runs, inside and out. I just - I really want it."
She sighs, pressing further backward. "Yeah, sounds like just another day at the office," she pauses for just a moment, "please tell me that you're being careful?"
AJ knows Danny's throwing himself into work with everything he's got and yes, she's scared that one day, he'll put too much of himself into it, and he'll end up hurt. Or worse.
Her breath catches at the question, and the memory that floods her mind, and she nods slowly. "She couldn't pronounce anything correctly and - and we couldn't stop laughing."
He doesn't answer her question, ashamed of his behavior at work. danny's turned into McGarrett without the training and even his best friend is beginning to worry. Instead, he keeps combing, taking care not to snag the comb on any of the knots.
"It was 'Brrr, not bear', remember? She got so mad when we tried to correct her. Remember the bull horns she'd make when she got mad? She jammed her finger into my leg the one time and never did 'em again after that." His hands stop, one resting flat on AJ's back while the other drops back into his lap.
Danny's chin hits his chest and for the first time in months, he lets tears slip down his face in absolute silence.
"I keep telling myself that she's not hurting any more, but it's not enough. It's not enough." Shoulders hunched and shaking, he covers his face with one hand, crying as openly in front of his wife as he's ever dared. The hand at her back is meant to keep her in place because while he's crying near her, he still doesn't want to upset her and seeing him cry is a surefire way to
( ... )
Comments 37
She enjoyed this quiet time with Danny - enjoyed feeling him close, enjoyed feeling his hands in her hair, and the way he made sure that she was comfortable. It was intimate, yes, but she missed him, ached for him in a way that he wasn't ready to give her yet. And she understood why, because she felt the same. How could she possibly think about such a thing in the midst of such a tragedy? But the thoughts were there, the want and the need and the utter desperation - he was just finding ways to ignore it.
She hums thoughtfully, shifting just a bit so she could be more comfortable. "Tami's leaving - moving back to the mainland. They all think that I'm next in line to becoming head librarian. I guess we'll see how that works out.
And yours? I'm sure something interesting happened today. ( ... )
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Working on the ends of the first section he'd combed out, he resisted the urge to kiss her bare shoulder, knowing it would bring the nausea to the surface in a heartbeat.
"You remember when Gracie was two, and she tried to tell the story about that bear at the zoo?" he asked suddenly, his hands still not stopping their movement as he spoke.
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She sighs, pressing further backward. "Yeah, sounds like just another day at the office," she pauses for just a moment, "please tell me that you're being careful?"
AJ knows Danny's throwing himself into work with everything he's got and yes, she's scared that one day, he'll put too much of himself into it, and he'll end up hurt. Or worse.
Her breath catches at the question, and the memory that floods her mind, and she nods slowly. "She couldn't pronounce anything correctly and - and we couldn't stop laughing."
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"It was 'Brrr, not bear', remember? She got so mad when we tried to correct her. Remember the bull horns she'd make when she got mad? She jammed her finger into my leg the one time and never did 'em again after that." His hands stop, one resting flat on AJ's back while the other drops back into his lap.
Danny's chin hits his chest and for the first time in months, he lets tears slip down his face in absolute silence.
"I keep telling myself that she's not hurting any more, but it's not enough. It's not enough." Shoulders hunched and shaking, he covers his face with one hand, crying as openly in front of his wife as he's ever dared. The hand at her back is meant to keep her in place because while he's crying near her, he still doesn't want to upset her and seeing him cry is a surefire way to ( ... )
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