(no subject)
its so funny how i can act like the world is perfect when its not. well first off i got in a car accident yesterday. that was fun. today i talked to ben for about 6 seconds when in that time he told me he got my message but didnt get a chance to call me back because if he really cared he would have found 5 mintues to call me its not like hes a friggen celebrity or some shit where i might cut some slack. now shann and i are fighting. which is awesome. i really wished to have this disussion with him when he first started going out with kerri and ditching the rest of his friends. and then acting like nothings different. its not her fault at all, id never blame her, but it pisses me off so much! i never asked for any of this. its just cuz for a day or two everything in my life was okay. then all the shit started right back up. i wish i could have stayed on that boat forever today. for one time in the last what seems forever i felt so comfortable, i dont even know how to describe it. it was so relaxing and the ocean was pretty much calm. everyone was complaining about how cold it was but joyce and i stayed in the back deck area and it was so peaceful. i hate when people dont look beneath the surface, sure it was cold but if you didnt think about it so much it was very comforting. i wish i was still on it.. i want to go somewhere where i can be me, i can stop thinking about things so much, somewhere where things are peaceful. i dont think that place excists. so back to relatity
<3
<3