Personal Thoughts
For the sake of keeping names private. I’m going to call this person J-douche. Anyway J-douche went to London with me and some people over spring break. He was basically by himself because he has no friends that were going so he latched himself onto our group. He did this because he was friends with my roommate at college (and no she wasn’t even there). Anyway he was actually ok most of the trip but the one huge thing that bothered me was that he was OBSESSED with Japan. Now, I like Japan. I’m a fan of their culture and language. I also like anime somewhat etc, etc. I’m even graduating with an Asian studies minor. But seriously…if your are THAT obsessed with it then there is something wrong with you. Anytime we saw something remotely Asian related while we were there he freaked out and has to see/touch/investigate it. We went to the London zoo and there were owls there. He was actually afraid of the owls because they are an omen of death in Japan. He kept acting uncomfortable and wanted to leave when we were near them…I was like are you serious?! Chill out for like one second, he was so uptight the whole trip. The part that made me the most mad was when he kept complaining about London. He was getting the opportunity to go to a different country that he has never seen before and that most people will never get to see in their lifetime and he was ungrateful about it. He kept saying how he couldn’t wait to go home. I was so annoyed. Then he continued to go on about how he would only feel comfortable living in Japan. The fact is he had visited Japan before but for only two weeks! He hadn’t even gone there for a semester to study or anything! There is no way in hell that you can get a feel of living somewhere after only two weeks, especially a whole different country, one that is so immensely different from the US. He just frustrates me to no end because he is one of those people that can’t look at their own faults. In order to be a better person I really feel that you have to look at yourself and be able to identify the bad things so you can be a better person. Maybe he does not care what kind of person he is which would not surprise me one bit but it still sucks to see someone like that.
On that note I have been trying to look at myself and isolate my own problems. I haven’t really ever talked about it but ever since elementary school I’ve had somewhat of a learning disorder. My mother even recently told me that one of my teachers in school said I would never finish college. Around 5th grade my teacher told my Mom that she should consider putting me on Riddlin. My Mom thought the teacher was wrong so she went to have me tested. It turned out I actually have a high IQ but my “explaining” skills as she put it were not “average” by any means. I honestly have a really hard time explaining anything. Recently I was asked to explain volleyball scoring to a group of people during common hour last week. I’ve been scoring volleyball since like 6th grade so I thought I would have no problem. I even printed out packets for the people there so that I would have materials to work off of. It went TERRIBLE! I couldn’t decide what to say first and after I would say a few things I would remember something else I should have said. It was just a mess. Finally the coach stepped in and helped out a little. I’m much better as explaining if I’m asked specific questions. That way I can give a specific answer instead of trying to think what I should tell them. I’m just hoping that this “disorder” won’t hold me back when I’m finished with school.
Sometimes I also think I’m arrogant even though people that are arrogant are a huge pet peeve of mine. I’m not sure if I’m actually arrogant but sometimes I say something to someone and then think…”wow, was that arrogant?” I really am not sure. I think I would want my roommates to tell me if I am like that ever so if you’re reading this tell me please! Also I have now been told by my brother and boyfriend that I am critical. I have NEVER realized this until this year. I’m not sure why I’m like this either. I’m not critical with all people just a lot of them. I think partially I feel like I’m being judged a lot when I’m in public so maybe if I judge them first in my mind then it won’t matter if they judge me back. Something like that anyway, I’m not quiet sure. Definitely have some self esteem issues in there. Anyway I’m going to try and work on it because I don’t want to be that person for the rest of my life. Even though I do judge those people though I still care about them. I honestly do care about everyone. Even people I dislike I still care about. Like J-douche. Even though he bothers me to no end I would never want anything bad to happen to him. Although I wouldn’t mind if he ended up living in Japan and not liking it, that way he might learn something lol.
P.S. I’ll be graduating in December!
This is some of the people I went to London with on Brighton Beach. I love them.
You can see the peir in the background. Overall it was a really amazing experience and I’d like to go back someday.