Excuse me....
DEAR EVERYONE,
When someone asks you to read their personal statement, this is NOT an acceptable reply:
Looks OK, you got a lot of stuff to work with here, just play around with it, move a few things, then send it back to me and I’ll have another look. I already submitted my primary and am waiting (oh please soon) for it to be verified, takes so damn long. Heres my final PS.
I’ll call ya up and talk about the MCATs real quick too in the next hour if ya want. Looks good and you picked some good experiences to go with for your PS, so ya got a possibility to make it real strong if you work it for a while!
SPECIFICS PEOEPLE, SPECIFICS. I will probably be posting another draft of my ps shortly. I need to apply in the next 4 weeks or so.
EDIT: Devon rocks. Two thumbs up for extremely constructive criticism.
Patients continued to line up as the heat of the afternoon intensified. The wait to see the doctor was well over two hours. Shade from the thatched roof shifted as the sun climbed in the sky, and I took a seat next to a Maasai woman nursing her infant. I watched her carefully as she continued to nurse while coughing terribly. I smiled at her; partially out of empathy, knowing that she was probably suffering from AIDS-related Tuberculosis, but mostly out of admiration for her resolute ability to raise her children in the midst of such poverty and tragedy. When my name was called, I walked into a hut and was motioned to sit on a small wooden stool. After a few minutes of hand gestures and some broken Swahili from me, the nurse understood that I had a stomach ache. She then took my temperature, pulse, and blood pressure and let me know that the doctor would see me in “dakika kumi” (ten minutes).
This experience as a patient at the Mbirikani AIDS clinic in southern Kenya cemented my desire to become a doctor. In the midst of tribal cultures, wild lions, and roasted goat meat, the role of a doctor and the need for medical care was exactly the same, if only more desperate, as anywhere else. My time in Kenya not only helped me to grow personally, but I also learned through experience that medicine is not a job; medicine is a means of relating to and serving people that transcends geography and culture.
Medicine was not always my chosen career path. After my freshman year of college I was selected for a medicinal chemistry internship at a pharmaceutical research company. Although I thoroughly enjoyed the intellectual challenges and problem-solving nature of working in a lab, I was desperate for human contact and a job that more immediately dealt with society. I questioned my desire to study science for the rest of my life and dropped my chemistry minor in order to get a second bachelor’s degree in Religious Studies. I devoted my sophomore year to working with the local community and exploring careers outside of the scientific field. As a student retreat leader, I discovered my passion and talent for connecting with people and making them feel comfortable. One student, Michael, confided in me his history of depression and social anxiety disorder, and confessed that he was apprehensive about college and being able to make new friends. I helped Michael get involved in clubs on campus and he now has a wonderful group of friends. Michael was affected by my compassion and commitment, and I knew I wanted to help more people in the same way.
I also realized, however, that the environment of retreats and responsibilities of a social worker were lacking in the intellectual and scientific stimulation that I crave. The summer after my sophomore year, I seriously reconsidered a career in medicine and volunteered in the emergency room at a local hospital. I worked closely with doctors and nurses in a hospital setting, and I thrived. It was the precise mix of fast-paced decision making, teamwork, and compassion that I had been looking for.
After this volunteer experience, I studied conservation biology in Kenya for one semester. Although the experience did not motivate me to become an ecologist, my time spent in the local AIDS clinic due to repeated cases of salmonella showed me the universal nature of service through medicine. Additionally, the relationships I formed with Kenyans proved my ability to connect with people regardless of their social background or culture. There, my desires to become a doctor came full circle as I combined what I had learned about my passions for scientific thought and working with others with my insights on the universality of medicine.
Upon returning to the United States, I was committed to learning as much as possible about the realities of practicing medicine; as a result, I accepted an internship studying medical ethics at a prominent hospital in Spokane. My experience at that internship exposed me to the tragedies of medicine and proved that I was comfortable working in the hospital. During my time there, I was involved in dealing with the red tape of providing quality medical care by securing a guardian for a homeless man with no family or close friends to speak for him, and removing a child from life support after a canoeing accident. These experiences have not left me depressed or disheartened; instead, I am inspired to provide quality medical care for all persons despite the realities of these difficult situations. I was able to use my interpersonal skills to comfort families during times of tragedy and communicate with terminally ill patients concerning their preferences for end of life care. I enjoyed every minute I spent with patients through this internship and I felt comfortable talking with them and helping to care for them in ways that a student in my position normally cannot.
After exploring myself and other people for the last three years, I am committed to a career in medicine. I am inspired by medicine’s ability to transcend cultural lines and social groups, while still satisfying my intellectual curiosity and hunger. I look forward to a long career in medicine in order to continue my own personal growth and my service to the local and world community.
When someone asks you to read their personal statement, this is NOT an acceptable reply:
Looks OK, you got a lot of stuff to work with here, just play around with it, move a few things, then send it back to me and I’ll have another look. I already submitted my primary and am waiting (oh please soon) for it to be verified, takes so damn long. Heres my final PS.
I’ll call ya up and talk about the MCATs real quick too in the next hour if ya want. Looks good and you picked some good experiences to go with for your PS, so ya got a possibility to make it real strong if you work it for a while!
SPECIFICS PEOEPLE, SPECIFICS. I will probably be posting another draft of my ps shortly. I need to apply in the next 4 weeks or so.
EDIT: Devon rocks. Two thumbs up for extremely constructive criticism.
Patients continued to line up as the heat of the afternoon intensified. The wait to see the doctor was well over two hours. Shade from the thatched roof shifted as the sun climbed in the sky, and I took a seat next to a Maasai woman nursing her infant. I watched her carefully as she continued to nurse while coughing terribly. I smiled at her; partially out of empathy, knowing that she was probably suffering from AIDS-related Tuberculosis, but mostly out of admiration for her resolute ability to raise her children in the midst of such poverty and tragedy. When my name was called, I walked into a hut and was motioned to sit on a small wooden stool. After a few minutes of hand gestures and some broken Swahili from me, the nurse understood that I had a stomach ache. She then took my temperature, pulse, and blood pressure and let me know that the doctor would see me in “dakika kumi” (ten minutes).
This experience as a patient at the Mbirikani AIDS clinic in southern Kenya cemented my desire to become a doctor. In the midst of tribal cultures, wild lions, and roasted goat meat, the role of a doctor and the need for medical care was exactly the same, if only more desperate, as anywhere else. My time in Kenya not only helped me to grow personally, but I also learned through experience that medicine is not a job; medicine is a means of relating to and serving people that transcends geography and culture.
Medicine was not always my chosen career path. After my freshman year of college I was selected for a medicinal chemistry internship at a pharmaceutical research company. Although I thoroughly enjoyed the intellectual challenges and problem-solving nature of working in a lab, I was desperate for human contact and a job that more immediately dealt with society. I questioned my desire to study science for the rest of my life and dropped my chemistry minor in order to get a second bachelor’s degree in Religious Studies. I devoted my sophomore year to working with the local community and exploring careers outside of the scientific field. As a student retreat leader, I discovered my passion and talent for connecting with people and making them feel comfortable. One student, Michael, confided in me his history of depression and social anxiety disorder, and confessed that he was apprehensive about college and being able to make new friends. I helped Michael get involved in clubs on campus and he now has a wonderful group of friends. Michael was affected by my compassion and commitment, and I knew I wanted to help more people in the same way.
I also realized, however, that the environment of retreats and responsibilities of a social worker were lacking in the intellectual and scientific stimulation that I crave. The summer after my sophomore year, I seriously reconsidered a career in medicine and volunteered in the emergency room at a local hospital. I worked closely with doctors and nurses in a hospital setting, and I thrived. It was the precise mix of fast-paced decision making, teamwork, and compassion that I had been looking for.
After this volunteer experience, I studied conservation biology in Kenya for one semester. Although the experience did not motivate me to become an ecologist, my time spent in the local AIDS clinic due to repeated cases of salmonella showed me the universal nature of service through medicine. Additionally, the relationships I formed with Kenyans proved my ability to connect with people regardless of their social background or culture. There, my desires to become a doctor came full circle as I combined what I had learned about my passions for scientific thought and working with others with my insights on the universality of medicine.
Upon returning to the United States, I was committed to learning as much as possible about the realities of practicing medicine; as a result, I accepted an internship studying medical ethics at a prominent hospital in Spokane. My experience at that internship exposed me to the tragedies of medicine and proved that I was comfortable working in the hospital. During my time there, I was involved in dealing with the red tape of providing quality medical care by securing a guardian for a homeless man with no family or close friends to speak for him, and removing a child from life support after a canoeing accident. These experiences have not left me depressed or disheartened; instead, I am inspired to provide quality medical care for all persons despite the realities of these difficult situations. I was able to use my interpersonal skills to comfort families during times of tragedy and communicate with terminally ill patients concerning their preferences for end of life care. I enjoyed every minute I spent with patients through this internship and I felt comfortable talking with them and helping to care for them in ways that a student in my position normally cannot.
After exploring myself and other people for the last three years, I am committed to a career in medicine. I am inspired by medicine’s ability to transcend cultural lines and social groups, while still satisfying my intellectual curiosity and hunger. I look forward to a long career in medicine in order to continue my own personal growth and my service to the local and world community.