Spectacularity!
THAT WENT SO WELL. No, seriously, the best audition I've ever had, and definitely the best improv work I've done in my life. Let's list the reasons it was so wonderful
1. I didn't realize that today was a combined BFA and MFA audition day. I was the first one there, and I'm watching all these tiny, young girls shivering in terror next to their parents, and I'm thinking, "What did I miss here? Where are the MFA candidates?" Here's the beauty of all of this: when the time comes for the MFA folks to go do their thing, I realize that of the more than 50 auditioners in that lobby, there were only 4 of us who were MFA candidates! Huzzah! A mere 4! Plus, sitting there with all those BFA people made me feel so much more confident in my own work. I didn't have to be nervous like they were, because I've been through all this already. It's a little sad to say, but their nervousness really pumped me up.
2. MFA auditionees are disappearing! No, seriously, this is weird. We found out that today there were supposed to be 10 of us attending, and only 4 of us showed. It gets better! At the last audition (the first for this upcoming schoolyear) there 15 MFA-ers scheduled, and only 2 showed! Out of 25 candidates only 6 have actually come to the auditions! That makes no sense to me, but hey, I'm not going to argue. It only makes the numbers game work more in my favor. I honestly kind of hope this trend continues.
3. I feel much better about the idea of being wait-listed. Apparently, there has not been a year thus far that they haven't had to go to their wait-list to fill the MFA class. So in my mind, being wait-listed is as good as being accepted because it means they have no reservations about your ability to handle and enhance the program; they just don't know yet if they have room for you. That's a much more comforting way of looking at it.
4. The people were totally awesome. There were two men and two women (myself included) and I was struck by how friendly and professional we all were with each other. I think having a group that small let us all relax around each other; the pressure was off to be really competitive. It allowed us to do much more fun and interesting work in front of the faculty (who were also really cool and laid back about the whole process) and made the whole day much more enjoyable. The guy I got paired with for the day, Mark, was a sweetheart. I could tell that he carried some serious "life experience baggage" with him when we were working together, and I think he picked up that same vibe in me. It gave us some really cool, complicated chemistry, especially for our open scene. That relationship got really specific and interesting in no time, and then it just exploded once we got some direction. Very cool!
5. I think I may have intimidated someone! Ok, that sounds terrible, but here's why I'm happy about it. Usually, I'm the one who gets intimidated. I end up thinking I'm talentless/stupid/hopelessly worse than any given person who happens to carry themselves with confidence. But today, that person was ME! I was the confident, outspoken, comfortable one! And the other MFA female, Kristen, seemed a little unsure what to do about it. We all know how enthusiastic I get about theatre, so I asked good questions and was generally my theatrical self for the whole process. She got a little quiet and kept to herself a lot more than the boys and I did. Maybe that's just her style, I don't know, but I like to think it was because I was presenting myself like a really strong woman candidate that needed to be reckoned with. I like that idea a lot.
6. Here's what Dexter Bullard (big man on admissions committee) said about our monologues: "Patrice and I have probably seen about 6 million monologues in our combined careers. There are very rarely home runs, and very few in which things happen that are totally disastrous. So don't stress about doing the best work of your career in your pieces; it's impossible with monologues. Just do your work and do your best to make a connection with your invisible person. Ok?" And with that, all my butterflies melted away. I have been waiting since the first day I ever did a monologue for someone to say that. I have been searching for a "home run" that is nigh on impossible to find. Suddenly the monologue part of the audition was so attainable, whereas I'd only been able to see it as an unreachable ideal, the "Perfect Monologue." It made the work so much simpler and easier, and there was less pressure for me to watch myself to see if I was doing a good enough job. I just did my work and left the rest to them. (Sidenote: I was the only person today with whom the committee chose not to work monologues after the first run. Given that I didn't feel like I had a total wipeout, I think that says good things. It means that I did the pieces in a way that they felt right about, and they didn't need to play with them to get them to a better place; they were as they should be.)
7. Let's just talk about the mini-class experience for a second. That was some of the best, most organic work I've ever done. I managed to trust myself more than I think I ever have before in a setting like that. The exercises themselves were so much fun, and they really pushed me to deal with some of my actor weaknesses, and I felt like I strengthened some of them in just that short time. Once Mark and I got paired off in the class session, things really got interesting. We did something like the "hand mirror" exercise, but with absolutely no rules. We moved around the room, we embraced, at one point he was actually on top of me on the floor. CRAZY AWESOME! This is how I know I need to be in grad school, because exploration like that is so beneficial to me as an actor, and it's so hard to find things like that outside of an academic setting. Oh, grad school, how I yearn for thee.
8. I am still more excited about theatre than anyone I know. After every part of the audition, I would walk back into our green room and say, "Wow, that was so much fun! I love this stuff!" And everyone in the room would take a beat, and then laugh a little. I think this is what Casey meant about his first impression of me. It's like they were all thinking, "Is this girl for real? Can you really be that excited about movement exercises?" Even the MFA 1 actor and BFA 3 actor (Alice from Alice in Wonderland, by the way) were a little amazed by how excited I get about this stuff. I take a lot of pride in that, and it's always good to know that it is sort of an extraordinary quality that lives in me. And how awesome that Casey wrote about that pretty primarily in his rec letter!
9. Biggest compliment of the day: Mark and I have finished our open scene, our last part of the audition process. We leave the audition room and are walking back to our green room to collect our things. All of sudden, Mark says, "Thank you. That was really fun work." I think the best thing any actor can hear is that his/her partner appreciates what that actor was giving. I really want to be that kind of actor, so having Mark end the day on that note told me that no matter what comes of this whole application process, I'm on the right path to being the kind of actor I want to be.
I am so proud of myself. I did really good work today, and not just in the context of my prior work, but generally. I think you could hold up what I did today on its own and say, "Yeah, that's good stuff." I am so happy that I did it well, and that I can walk away from it with a big smile on my face. Now it's just the long wait until March. But like I said, I'm perfectly happy with today no matter what. Do I desperately want to be in this program? Absolutely. But if it doesn't happen, I know it will have had nothing whatsoever to do with how good my work was today. Because it was good, and I know that, and that's enough for me.