Staying positive in the face of a big deal audition
1. Writing to friends in the old school pen and paper style is wonderful. I've been writing to Arielle about once a week (aside from my hospital stays), and I feel like it's a great way to tell the people I care about that I'm thinking of them. It's a little more personal than an email or facebook message. Plus, I get to build this incredible stationery collection, which I'm extremely proud of. I'm glad I've found a hobby that involves staying touch with the important people in my life.
2. I think these monologues are steadily improving. I taped and watched myself some more last night, and my Tracy piece has come a long way. It's so much tighter and more grounded than it used to be. And the Shakespeare... wow. Cynthia gave me one note about playing desperate instead just frustrated, and that thing just transformed itself. Unbelievable. I used to cringe at it, and now it's so clear and fun to play. I like feeling like I'm actually acting with these pieces, not just "doing monologues." This is how audition monologues are supposed to feel.
3. Therapy rocks. That's the place where I can best feel my progress in dealing with my bipolar issues and triggers, and these last few sessions have been so cathartic and productive. It makes me feel so much more ready for tomorrow to know that I have gotten so much off my chest in the last couple of weeks in that office. Getting rid of all that crap makes room for the good stuff I need for this audition: focus, energy, confidence, and the feeling that I deserve this program, that I've earned it through talent and a lot of hard work.
4. Weird things are happening that seem kind of cosmic regarding this audition. Most recently, my uncle Mark (the state trooper) called last night to tell me two things. First, he has a buddy on the force who is old friends with the DePaul Director of Admissions. Wait, wait, it gets better. Another guy he works with has studied and worked with one of the main acting professors at the Theatre School in a number of companies. WHAT?! Random connected actors in the State Police? That's just too strange. So he's convinced them both to write to their people of importance and tell them that I'm a brilliant fit for the program and say lots of nice things about me. I don't know what the odds of that are, but they're slim. It gives me the very welcome feeling that some force greater than myself will be looking out for me tomorrow. How wonderfully comforting is that?
2. I think these monologues are steadily improving. I taped and watched myself some more last night, and my Tracy piece has come a long way. It's so much tighter and more grounded than it used to be. And the Shakespeare... wow. Cynthia gave me one note about playing desperate instead just frustrated, and that thing just transformed itself. Unbelievable. I used to cringe at it, and now it's so clear and fun to play. I like feeling like I'm actually acting with these pieces, not just "doing monologues." This is how audition monologues are supposed to feel.
3. Therapy rocks. That's the place where I can best feel my progress in dealing with my bipolar issues and triggers, and these last few sessions have been so cathartic and productive. It makes me feel so much more ready for tomorrow to know that I have gotten so much off my chest in the last couple of weeks in that office. Getting rid of all that crap makes room for the good stuff I need for this audition: focus, energy, confidence, and the feeling that I deserve this program, that I've earned it through talent and a lot of hard work.
4. Weird things are happening that seem kind of cosmic regarding this audition. Most recently, my uncle Mark (the state trooper) called last night to tell me two things. First, he has a buddy on the force who is old friends with the DePaul Director of Admissions. Wait, wait, it gets better. Another guy he works with has studied and worked with one of the main acting professors at the Theatre School in a number of companies. WHAT?! Random connected actors in the State Police? That's just too strange. So he's convinced them both to write to their people of importance and tell them that I'm a brilliant fit for the program and say lots of nice things about me. I don't know what the odds of that are, but they're slim. It gives me the very welcome feeling that some force greater than myself will be looking out for me tomorrow. How wonderfully comforting is that?