Fic: Painkiller (Shige/Tegoshi)
A remix of the disastrous Ryo's nightmares. Minus half of the emo angst and the cryptical BS.
Title: Painkiller
Rating: R
Pairing: ShigexTegoshi
Donde?: PAINKILLER
“Stupid.” Tegoshi says.
Shige doesn't reply, focusing his entire attention on his nails, trying to avoid Tegoshi's gaze in the mirror.
“I'm bored.”
Shige doesn't reply.
“Hey, Shige, I'm bored.”
Shige starts polishing his nails.
“Oh, gosh, okay, Shige-san, I'm bored.”
“What do you want?”
It takes a fraction of second for Shige to realize his error. Never answer to Tegoshi. Never pay any attention to him. Never, if you want to keep your genital functions safe.
“Ma...” Tegoshi clucks his tongue, and Shige thinks very hard about how he hates it. “Entertain me? Please?”
Damn, damn, damn.
Bipolar nature, Shige thinks, looking at Tegoshi, half-sleeping, sheets curling around his naked body, pale and almost still, faint breath lifting his chest, eyelids semi-closed, contented smile. Shige carefully reaches for his cheek and traces the outlines of his face.
“Hey,” says the sleepy lump. “Shi-ge…”
“Yes…”
“Why did you make all that fuss about me calling you Shige?” Tegoshi pauses, drags the sheet closer to his body. “Everyone calls you Shige,” he continues. “Why does it matter?”
“You're younger than me, aren't you?”
“But when I talk to you it's okay, isn't it? So why not at the Shounen Club?”
Shige thinks for a while about the attitude to adopt, lie and get away with it, maybe, or tell the truth and get away with it, maybe.
“We've gotta keep our roles. You call me Shige-san, I call you Tegoshi-kun.”
Surprisingly Tegoshi nods in agreement. It makes Shige come back on his thoughts and mindlessly, he reaches for Tegoshi, picks a strand of dyed red hair and feels it roll under his fingertips. Tegoshi starts muttering the lyrics of a song - “tell me why, take me faraway”. Shige looks at the small body, hurled up in the blankets, and some kind of strange tenderness invades him.
“I think I know why I'm attracted to you...”
“Why?”
“Well, as Kei-chan said. You're cute.”
“Of course I am.”
(Shige watches Tegoshi easing himself in Koyama's lap and picking in his food, then silencing Koyama's protests with a gleeful: “Thank you so much!”. Later when Shige confronts him - “Kei-chan, don’t *let* him! - Koyama stares at him, clearly not understanding and states slowly: “But, Shige… Tego-chan is cute.”, like Shige doesn’t understand, doesn’t know that already.
Tegoshi just sniggers.)
Tegoshi is evil, but evil is meant to be hot.
“That... eh - drape thingy - looks... amazing...” Shige tries.
“Really? I'm glad! Thank you!”
“Wait, is it actually a skirt?”
Massu nods cheerfully and grins. Then Tegoshi enters the room and Shige watches, fascinated, the quick movement of people. Pi and Ryo raise their heads synchro, smirk, get up, walk to him, tease him and drift back when Tegoshi starts to be biting. Then, Koyama gets close to have his morning bullying. Finally, Massu waves at him from the seat he's just cleared for him.
(“Sometimes it bugs me how I can be at the same time jealous of you and attracted by you,” he tells Tegoshi, later.
“Don't think too much.”)
“Last night, Ryo, Shige and I went to drink at Koyama's...” Yamapi’s voice goes on; Shige has tried his best to pay no attention to Tegoshi, but he can't help but notice his eyes narrowing.
“What's wrong?”
“Since when do you guys go and drink without me?”
The Tego-storm explodes. When he leaves, Ryo and Koyama go after him, blabbering apologies. (Koyama blabbers. Ryo just kicks him on the way.)
Tegoshi sulks. It's been a week. Shige didn't know he was going to miss him so much, Tegoshi and his self-centrism, his witty bitchiness, everything that made him Tegobrat.
“Why are you only mad at me and not at the others?” he asks when he finally corners Tegoshi behind a vending machine.
“Because the others didn't have sex with me.”
(Tegoshi lets Koyama brush his hair with a satisfied expression, then grabs Ryo's clothes, studies them, tosses the pants to the floor and keeps the shirt. Ryo sights and lets him, only because he wants to avoid trouble, and not because he accepts the punishment.(
“I don't know why I'm mad,” Tegoshi mumbles. “'m not even in love with you.”
“Wanna go and drink at my house?”
Drinking with Tegoshi is so different, too. You've got to be careful not to get too drunk, not because you fear that you might start telling your awkward stuff, but because you want to hear what Tegoshi's is.
However, it seems Tegoshi doesn't get drunk. He drinks, smiles, says something utterly indecent, drinks again and goes on.
Shige might be drunker than Tegoshi. Oh crap.
“I think I might actually like you. A bit.” Says the voice in between Shige’s drunken haze.
It twists a part of Shige's body, somewhere in his chest and he reaches a hand, wants to touch, wants to feel.
“No way I let you touch me now. Where is your bedroom?”
Shige guides Tegoshi through his apartment, slaloming between walls and furniture. He stays in the door frame and watches Tegoshi feel the mattress with anticipation. Tegoshi turns to him, smiles and says: “It's perfect, Shige-san. Thank you very much!”. Then the door closes and Shige doesn't quite understand why he's finally sleeping on his couch.
“You actually slept on the couch!” Tegoshi exclaims. “I'm impressed!”
“Not like I had any choice,” Shige mumbles, grumpy in the morning and pissed off.
“The door wasn't locked, you know.”
Why the fuck is Tegoshi shouting?
“Can I stay at your place?” Tegoshi chirps loudly.
“Fuck off and go back home.”
“Shige isn't nice when he's got a headache...”
Tegoshi leaves him alone in the kitchen and Shige half hopes he's going back home, but Tegoshi comes back, tiptoes to him, presses something cold against his forehead and hands him a glass of water.
“Medicine.”
“Mm.”
“Come on, swallow.”
Shige obeys and gulps the aspirin, reluctantly enjoying the freshness.
“Go back to bed, now.”
Shige mumbles something incoherent, even for himself, and pushes Tegoshi's helping hand away. He can at least walk alone.
“Do you want me to call Kei-chan?”
“I thought I already told you to go home.” Shige mutters between his gritted teeth.
“He'd take better care of you than me.”
A while passes, and Shige tries to burry himself in his bed covers.
“Kei-chan doesn't answer his phone.”
Shige remembers something about photo-shoots and tries to nod, but his head is so heavy, so heavy.
Through his half-coma, Shige perceives nice sensations, a soft voice, a hand rubbing his hair. Koyama, he thinks, until the fog slowly fogs off his eyes and Tegoshi's face is looking at him.
“Hey,” Shige mumbles. “Why did you leave the door open?”
“Thought you might wanna come later.”
Mm. That’s nice. Shige’s headache is starting to fade, or maybe the painkillers are just starting to kick in.
“Hey. Come here.”
“Are you feeling better, then?”
“A bit. Come here.”
Why is it so different than every other time ? It's still Tegoshi in his arms, fluid and pleasant, but the feelings Shige gets are so opposed... He realizes he's never known what was really possible between them before. Before he got to really look around and see that maybe their was a reason for being so addicted to Tegoshi and Tegoshi's body.
“Ah...” Tegoshi cries, low and breathy. Shige wants to take him to the best climax ever, wants him to scream his name at full lung-power, wants him to be all limp and helpless in his arms. He traces the line of Tegoshi's jaw with the tip of his tongue, and Tegoshi's moans are already less muffled, more clear. Shige might start enjoying this, the control he's got over Tegoshi, when pointy teeth rasp along his neck. Pain mixed with pleasure make his mind spin and run around in loops, body shaking and clinging to the flexible, soft flesh next to him.
It surprises him when they both reach their orgasm. Shige might have been lost into too much pleasure, listening to Tegoshi and thrusting harder.
Tegoshi lets himself fall back on the pillows, eyes closed in exhaustion. Shige considers letting him sleep, but he kind of feels guilty about next morning. He lifts him in his arms - Tegoshi is heavier than expected - and carries him to the bathroom, washes him carefully, brushes his hair. During the entire time, Tegoshi keeps his eyes shut and Shige places little kisses now and then on his face.
Shige carefully places him on the bed, covers him with the sheets. He leans over Tegoshi and asks:
“Hey. Do you love me?”
Tegoshi groans and buries his face in the pillow.
“Hey. Do you?”
Tegoshi doesn't answer, so Shige just assumes he's asleep. The answer comes later, though, ringing in the silence.
“Does it really matter?”
Shige wakes up in the morning and there’s hair, soft and ticklish, under his chin, a heavy weight on his chest, and his feet are cold. It might be happiness, except he almost automatically remembers Tegoshi’s words - “Does it really matter?” (it does) - and he untangles himself, gets up and scans through his wardrobe.
“Can I borrow you some clothes?”
Shige is in a bad mood.
“Can't you just wear yours?”
Tegoshi stares at him, eyes widened with horror.
“EW! I'm not gonna wear the same clothes twice!”
Whatever.
Tegoshi chats along and Shige remembers Koyama. Why are these guys so energetic so early in the morning, when he only wants to go back to his bed and sleep?
“Guess who?” Tegoshi squeaks in his ear.
“Shouldn't you be saying 'Tegoshi desu!'?”
“Ma, Shige is so smart! Makes me even more in love with him!”
And again, Shige's insides twist.
“Cut the crap. You don't love me.”
Shige grabs Tegoshi by the collar and slams him against the wall.
“Don't fuck with me! Don't you dare come around here and pretend you love me!”
He looks at the small form hurled up on the floor and realizes he's been shouting.
“Don't- don't mess around with me...” Shige's voice crack and he lets himself slide against the wall, buries his face into his hands, so that he doesn't see Tegoshi reaching for his arm. The contact makes him shudder and he pushes the hand away, not willing to let it pass.
“Fuck,” he says, tears rising his voice and hating himself for it. “Why do you have to be so- so manipulative?”
Tegoshi's voice is ice-cold when he speaks:
“I don’t love you? Do you really think I sleep with people I don’t love? Is this the way I look, to you? Shit, Shige, you don’t even deserve the effort, if- if- I don’t know.”
Tegoshi sounds a bit muffled by now and Shige raises his head to see him in the same position than his, head buried between his hands, knees brought up to the chest. Shige feels himself tighten and the old tingle of guilt comes back in his chest. So different again. When Shige realizes it comes back quit often, “different”, he figures it might be the time to say something.
“You're different.”
Tegoshi looks at him from behind his bangs and hands but remains silent. Carefully, on all fours, Shige crawls towards him, very slowly. With the tip of his fingers, he strokes the few bits of Tegoshi he can reach, the shell of the ear, the line of the jaw, the little parcel of skin between his shirt and his hair. Tegoshi shudders a bit and Shige sees that his shoulders are shaking.
“Shh...” he whispers. “Don't cry, please, don't cry.”
Shige hesitates a bit, it's awkward, but a stronger sob shakes Tegoshi and Shige doesn't give a fuck anymore. He wraps his arms around the small frame and it's warm and cozy and new. Tentatively, he pulls Tegoshi on his lap and settles him, rocking slowly and muttering in his ear, little nonsense that feels good for both of them.
“Come on, little one, don't cry, please...”
Shige can't tell how much time they stay like this together because it's so comfortable, in a safe way, but suddenly Tegoshi sniffes, rubs his nose and mumbles:
“You're not so older than me, you know...”
Tegoshi's voice is mixed with breathes and tears. Sounds even creepier than usual.
“I- I was... always... watching you... You have... no idea... of how... exasperating... it was...”
It's weird how clumsily they kiss, all lips pecking and a bit of teeth, too, not very sexy from an exterior point of view, but Shige likes it. He likes Tegoshi all small and fragile in his arms, thin waist and soft hair.
“I decided that - maybe - I'd give you a chance,” Tegoshi mumbles afterwards.
“Ma, that's so nice of you I don't know what to say.” Shit, Shige is sarcastic.
“I refuse to make love on the floor, though.”
Shige is too busy gleeing at the first time he hears Tegoshi say “make love” and not “have sex” or “fuck” or even “shag” to actually protest against the hand pulling at his hair.
Massu giggles, blushes, giggles again and Shige tries very hard not to think about a twelve-year-old junior hearing Tsuyoshi's lecture on sex for the first time.
“You're the worst couple ever,” Ryo says, disdainful. “I'll just wait to see what happens to you guys...” and Shige guesses it's his way to say he's happy for them. Ryo freezes at the door, turns back and shouts:
“Don't forget to use a condom, though! And be careful not to knock him pregnant!”
Tegoshi frowns.
“Who was he talking about exactly?”
“Ma, Shige, I'm so glad!” There, Shige has trouble processing why exactly Koyama is happy. “It's been such a long time since you had your last lover, and it's wonderful that there is someone to take care of Little Tegoshi when I'm not here!”
Shige lets Koyama hug them both and pats his back. When he leaves, he turns to Tegoshi and mouthes: “Little Tegoshi...” Tegoshi glares at him before smiling in a way that's meant to look angelic and croons: “Such a long time since you had your last lover, ne?”
Goddamn brat.
“I said not in my group!” Yamapi yells, waving an empty bottle of water, mouth full of some substance that flies around. “And you guys are still underage!”
“N-no we're not.” Shige mutters.
“You're not? Geez!” Pi mumbles something between his cake, chews, stares at Shige, turns suddenly blank face and says: “Whatever. I'll just say I didn't know when you guys get caught.”
Shige doesn't know how he knows. It's just, he knows. He recognizes the footsteps, even muffled by the carpet and can imagine the walk, the slight swaying of the body from left to right. When Tegoshi comes in the room, he smells him before the scent actually reaches his nose. He sits up in the bed and watches him walk to the bed, avoiding the scattered clothes, then sit on the edge of the mattress.
“How was the filming?” he asks.
“Fine,” Tegoshi whispers. “Why aren't you sleeping?”
“Was waiting for you...”
“Seriously?” Shige hears the smile in Tegoshi's voice.
“No. Seriously, you woke me up.”
One thing Shige learns about Tegoshi is, he's busy. Really busy. At six in the morning, when all Shige wants is stay into Tegoshi's embrace and smell his shampoo, a cell-phone rings and it's Tegoshi's manager saying that there was a planning mistake and that Tegoshi's filming ends at ten in the evening. Then, Shige is heartlessly kicked out of bed to prepare Tegoshi's breakfast, because, seriously, “who decided to have sex at midnight, huh?” And Shige has to agree, he did.
Title: Painkiller
Rating: R
Pairing: ShigexTegoshi
Donde?: PAINKILLER
“Stupid.” Tegoshi says.
Shige doesn't reply, focusing his entire attention on his nails, trying to avoid Tegoshi's gaze in the mirror.
“I'm bored.”
Shige doesn't reply.
“Hey, Shige, I'm bored.”
Shige starts polishing his nails.
“Oh, gosh, okay, Shige-san, I'm bored.”
“What do you want?”
It takes a fraction of second for Shige to realize his error. Never answer to Tegoshi. Never pay any attention to him. Never, if you want to keep your genital functions safe.
“Ma...” Tegoshi clucks his tongue, and Shige thinks very hard about how he hates it. “Entertain me? Please?”
Damn, damn, damn.
Bipolar nature, Shige thinks, looking at Tegoshi, half-sleeping, sheets curling around his naked body, pale and almost still, faint breath lifting his chest, eyelids semi-closed, contented smile. Shige carefully reaches for his cheek and traces the outlines of his face.
“Hey,” says the sleepy lump. “Shi-ge…”
“Yes…”
“Why did you make all that fuss about me calling you Shige?” Tegoshi pauses, drags the sheet closer to his body. “Everyone calls you Shige,” he continues. “Why does it matter?”
“You're younger than me, aren't you?”
“But when I talk to you it's okay, isn't it? So why not at the Shounen Club?”
Shige thinks for a while about the attitude to adopt, lie and get away with it, maybe, or tell the truth and get away with it, maybe.
“We've gotta keep our roles. You call me Shige-san, I call you Tegoshi-kun.”
Surprisingly Tegoshi nods in agreement. It makes Shige come back on his thoughts and mindlessly, he reaches for Tegoshi, picks a strand of dyed red hair and feels it roll under his fingertips. Tegoshi starts muttering the lyrics of a song - “tell me why, take me faraway”. Shige looks at the small body, hurled up in the blankets, and some kind of strange tenderness invades him.
“I think I know why I'm attracted to you...”
“Why?”
“Well, as Kei-chan said. You're cute.”
“Of course I am.”
(Shige watches Tegoshi easing himself in Koyama's lap and picking in his food, then silencing Koyama's protests with a gleeful: “Thank you so much!”. Later when Shige confronts him - “Kei-chan, don’t *let* him! - Koyama stares at him, clearly not understanding and states slowly: “But, Shige… Tego-chan is cute.”, like Shige doesn’t understand, doesn’t know that already.
Tegoshi just sniggers.)
Tegoshi is evil, but evil is meant to be hot.
“That... eh - drape thingy - looks... amazing...” Shige tries.
“Really? I'm glad! Thank you!”
“Wait, is it actually a skirt?”
Massu nods cheerfully and grins. Then Tegoshi enters the room and Shige watches, fascinated, the quick movement of people. Pi and Ryo raise their heads synchro, smirk, get up, walk to him, tease him and drift back when Tegoshi starts to be biting. Then, Koyama gets close to have his morning bullying. Finally, Massu waves at him from the seat he's just cleared for him.
(“Sometimes it bugs me how I can be at the same time jealous of you and attracted by you,” he tells Tegoshi, later.
“Don't think too much.”)
“Last night, Ryo, Shige and I went to drink at Koyama's...” Yamapi’s voice goes on; Shige has tried his best to pay no attention to Tegoshi, but he can't help but notice his eyes narrowing.
“What's wrong?”
“Since when do you guys go and drink without me?”
The Tego-storm explodes. When he leaves, Ryo and Koyama go after him, blabbering apologies. (Koyama blabbers. Ryo just kicks him on the way.)
Tegoshi sulks. It's been a week. Shige didn't know he was going to miss him so much, Tegoshi and his self-centrism, his witty bitchiness, everything that made him Tegobrat.
“Why are you only mad at me and not at the others?” he asks when he finally corners Tegoshi behind a vending machine.
“Because the others didn't have sex with me.”
(Tegoshi lets Koyama brush his hair with a satisfied expression, then grabs Ryo's clothes, studies them, tosses the pants to the floor and keeps the shirt. Ryo sights and lets him, only because he wants to avoid trouble, and not because he accepts the punishment.(
“I don't know why I'm mad,” Tegoshi mumbles. “'m not even in love with you.”
“Wanna go and drink at my house?”
Drinking with Tegoshi is so different, too. You've got to be careful not to get too drunk, not because you fear that you might start telling your awkward stuff, but because you want to hear what Tegoshi's is.
However, it seems Tegoshi doesn't get drunk. He drinks, smiles, says something utterly indecent, drinks again and goes on.
Shige might be drunker than Tegoshi. Oh crap.
“I think I might actually like you. A bit.” Says the voice in between Shige’s drunken haze.
It twists a part of Shige's body, somewhere in his chest and he reaches a hand, wants to touch, wants to feel.
“No way I let you touch me now. Where is your bedroom?”
Shige guides Tegoshi through his apartment, slaloming between walls and furniture. He stays in the door frame and watches Tegoshi feel the mattress with anticipation. Tegoshi turns to him, smiles and says: “It's perfect, Shige-san. Thank you very much!”. Then the door closes and Shige doesn't quite understand why he's finally sleeping on his couch.
“You actually slept on the couch!” Tegoshi exclaims. “I'm impressed!”
“Not like I had any choice,” Shige mumbles, grumpy in the morning and pissed off.
“The door wasn't locked, you know.”
Why the fuck is Tegoshi shouting?
“Can I stay at your place?” Tegoshi chirps loudly.
“Fuck off and go back home.”
“Shige isn't nice when he's got a headache...”
Tegoshi leaves him alone in the kitchen and Shige half hopes he's going back home, but Tegoshi comes back, tiptoes to him, presses something cold against his forehead and hands him a glass of water.
“Medicine.”
“Mm.”
“Come on, swallow.”
Shige obeys and gulps the aspirin, reluctantly enjoying the freshness.
“Go back to bed, now.”
Shige mumbles something incoherent, even for himself, and pushes Tegoshi's helping hand away. He can at least walk alone.
“Do you want me to call Kei-chan?”
“I thought I already told you to go home.” Shige mutters between his gritted teeth.
“He'd take better care of you than me.”
A while passes, and Shige tries to burry himself in his bed covers.
“Kei-chan doesn't answer his phone.”
Shige remembers something about photo-shoots and tries to nod, but his head is so heavy, so heavy.
Through his half-coma, Shige perceives nice sensations, a soft voice, a hand rubbing his hair. Koyama, he thinks, until the fog slowly fogs off his eyes and Tegoshi's face is looking at him.
“Hey,” Shige mumbles. “Why did you leave the door open?”
“Thought you might wanna come later.”
Mm. That’s nice. Shige’s headache is starting to fade, or maybe the painkillers are just starting to kick in.
“Hey. Come here.”
“Are you feeling better, then?”
“A bit. Come here.”
Why is it so different than every other time ? It's still Tegoshi in his arms, fluid and pleasant, but the feelings Shige gets are so opposed... He realizes he's never known what was really possible between them before. Before he got to really look around and see that maybe their was a reason for being so addicted to Tegoshi and Tegoshi's body.
“Ah...” Tegoshi cries, low and breathy. Shige wants to take him to the best climax ever, wants him to scream his name at full lung-power, wants him to be all limp and helpless in his arms. He traces the line of Tegoshi's jaw with the tip of his tongue, and Tegoshi's moans are already less muffled, more clear. Shige might start enjoying this, the control he's got over Tegoshi, when pointy teeth rasp along his neck. Pain mixed with pleasure make his mind spin and run around in loops, body shaking and clinging to the flexible, soft flesh next to him.
It surprises him when they both reach their orgasm. Shige might have been lost into too much pleasure, listening to Tegoshi and thrusting harder.
Tegoshi lets himself fall back on the pillows, eyes closed in exhaustion. Shige considers letting him sleep, but he kind of feels guilty about next morning. He lifts him in his arms - Tegoshi is heavier than expected - and carries him to the bathroom, washes him carefully, brushes his hair. During the entire time, Tegoshi keeps his eyes shut and Shige places little kisses now and then on his face.
Shige carefully places him on the bed, covers him with the sheets. He leans over Tegoshi and asks:
“Hey. Do you love me?”
Tegoshi groans and buries his face in the pillow.
“Hey. Do you?”
Tegoshi doesn't answer, so Shige just assumes he's asleep. The answer comes later, though, ringing in the silence.
“Does it really matter?”
Shige wakes up in the morning and there’s hair, soft and ticklish, under his chin, a heavy weight on his chest, and his feet are cold. It might be happiness, except he almost automatically remembers Tegoshi’s words - “Does it really matter?” (it does) - and he untangles himself, gets up and scans through his wardrobe.
“Can I borrow you some clothes?”
Shige is in a bad mood.
“Can't you just wear yours?”
Tegoshi stares at him, eyes widened with horror.
“EW! I'm not gonna wear the same clothes twice!”
Whatever.
Tegoshi chats along and Shige remembers Koyama. Why are these guys so energetic so early in the morning, when he only wants to go back to his bed and sleep?
“Guess who?” Tegoshi squeaks in his ear.
“Shouldn't you be saying 'Tegoshi desu!'?”
“Ma, Shige is so smart! Makes me even more in love with him!”
And again, Shige's insides twist.
“Cut the crap. You don't love me.”
Shige grabs Tegoshi by the collar and slams him against the wall.
“Don't fuck with me! Don't you dare come around here and pretend you love me!”
He looks at the small form hurled up on the floor and realizes he's been shouting.
“Don't- don't mess around with me...” Shige's voice crack and he lets himself slide against the wall, buries his face into his hands, so that he doesn't see Tegoshi reaching for his arm. The contact makes him shudder and he pushes the hand away, not willing to let it pass.
“Fuck,” he says, tears rising his voice and hating himself for it. “Why do you have to be so- so manipulative?”
Tegoshi's voice is ice-cold when he speaks:
“I don’t love you? Do you really think I sleep with people I don’t love? Is this the way I look, to you? Shit, Shige, you don’t even deserve the effort, if- if- I don’t know.”
Tegoshi sounds a bit muffled by now and Shige raises his head to see him in the same position than his, head buried between his hands, knees brought up to the chest. Shige feels himself tighten and the old tingle of guilt comes back in his chest. So different again. When Shige realizes it comes back quit often, “different”, he figures it might be the time to say something.
“You're different.”
Tegoshi looks at him from behind his bangs and hands but remains silent. Carefully, on all fours, Shige crawls towards him, very slowly. With the tip of his fingers, he strokes the few bits of Tegoshi he can reach, the shell of the ear, the line of the jaw, the little parcel of skin between his shirt and his hair. Tegoshi shudders a bit and Shige sees that his shoulders are shaking.
“Shh...” he whispers. “Don't cry, please, don't cry.”
Shige hesitates a bit, it's awkward, but a stronger sob shakes Tegoshi and Shige doesn't give a fuck anymore. He wraps his arms around the small frame and it's warm and cozy and new. Tentatively, he pulls Tegoshi on his lap and settles him, rocking slowly and muttering in his ear, little nonsense that feels good for both of them.
“Come on, little one, don't cry, please...”
Shige can't tell how much time they stay like this together because it's so comfortable, in a safe way, but suddenly Tegoshi sniffes, rubs his nose and mumbles:
“You're not so older than me, you know...”
Tegoshi's voice is mixed with breathes and tears. Sounds even creepier than usual.
“I- I was... always... watching you... You have... no idea... of how... exasperating... it was...”
It's weird how clumsily they kiss, all lips pecking and a bit of teeth, too, not very sexy from an exterior point of view, but Shige likes it. He likes Tegoshi all small and fragile in his arms, thin waist and soft hair.
“I decided that - maybe - I'd give you a chance,” Tegoshi mumbles afterwards.
“Ma, that's so nice of you I don't know what to say.” Shit, Shige is sarcastic.
“I refuse to make love on the floor, though.”
Shige is too busy gleeing at the first time he hears Tegoshi say “make love” and not “have sex” or “fuck” or even “shag” to actually protest against the hand pulling at his hair.
Massu giggles, blushes, giggles again and Shige tries very hard not to think about a twelve-year-old junior hearing Tsuyoshi's lecture on sex for the first time.
“You're the worst couple ever,” Ryo says, disdainful. “I'll just wait to see what happens to you guys...” and Shige guesses it's his way to say he's happy for them. Ryo freezes at the door, turns back and shouts:
“Don't forget to use a condom, though! And be careful not to knock him pregnant!”
Tegoshi frowns.
“Who was he talking about exactly?”
“Ma, Shige, I'm so glad!” There, Shige has trouble processing why exactly Koyama is happy. “It's been such a long time since you had your last lover, and it's wonderful that there is someone to take care of Little Tegoshi when I'm not here!”
Shige lets Koyama hug them both and pats his back. When he leaves, he turns to Tegoshi and mouthes: “Little Tegoshi...” Tegoshi glares at him before smiling in a way that's meant to look angelic and croons: “Such a long time since you had your last lover, ne?”
Goddamn brat.
“I said not in my group!” Yamapi yells, waving an empty bottle of water, mouth full of some substance that flies around. “And you guys are still underage!”
“N-no we're not.” Shige mutters.
“You're not? Geez!” Pi mumbles something between his cake, chews, stares at Shige, turns suddenly blank face and says: “Whatever. I'll just say I didn't know when you guys get caught.”
Shige doesn't know how he knows. It's just, he knows. He recognizes the footsteps, even muffled by the carpet and can imagine the walk, the slight swaying of the body from left to right. When Tegoshi comes in the room, he smells him before the scent actually reaches his nose. He sits up in the bed and watches him walk to the bed, avoiding the scattered clothes, then sit on the edge of the mattress.
“How was the filming?” he asks.
“Fine,” Tegoshi whispers. “Why aren't you sleeping?”
“Was waiting for you...”
“Seriously?” Shige hears the smile in Tegoshi's voice.
“No. Seriously, you woke me up.”
One thing Shige learns about Tegoshi is, he's busy. Really busy. At six in the morning, when all Shige wants is stay into Tegoshi's embrace and smell his shampoo, a cell-phone rings and it's Tegoshi's manager saying that there was a planning mistake and that Tegoshi's filming ends at ten in the evening. Then, Shige is heartlessly kicked out of bed to prepare Tegoshi's breakfast, because, seriously, “who decided to have sex at midnight, huh?” And Shige has to agree, he did.