kpopfickink entry: bigbang; gd/top
Rating: NC-17
Prompt: awkward, first-time sex. bonus points if it's pre-debut and includes a slightly chubby top and his body issues, and a trying to be in charge but very nervous gd.
link here
There are no stars in the sky of Seoul at night and it’s more dirty orange than dark blue, but Jiyong likes it nonetheless - likes this, lying next to Seunghyun on the roof, after cigarettes that have stopped tasting too bitter and bottles of beer that he pretends to be drunk on.
The palms of their hands are warm and clammy, stuck together, and when Jiyong shifts he feels Seunghyun squeeze minutely.
“We should call our group Galaxy,” Jiyong murmurs, looking up at the sky. He wishes he could see shapes and constellations. There’s only pollution. He hears Seunghyun snort:
“Galaxy? Why?”
Jiyong fumbles for words and meanings:
“’cause, you see, there’s you, and I, and YB, and Dae, and Hyunseung, and-” Seunghyun props himself into his elbows to look at him, with the grin that digs dimples into his cheeks; Jiyong loses his thread of thought. “-and, and, I don’t know? The five of us, we’re gonna be stars, we’re gonna make a galaxy?”
Seunghyun leans down to kiss him with a hand that cups his jaw. Jiyong inhales sharply through his nostrils, still unused to this.
This being Seunghyun, here and warm and solid, the low rumble of his voice that Jiyong likes so much, in Jiyong’s ear, saying stuff like:
“You’re beautiful, you know?”
stuff that Jiyong thought was corny - adult stuff, more so than the videos he watches at night with Youngbae.
He pulls Seunghyun on top of him because thinking about porn makes him crave the contact of Seunghyun’s palm around his cock, warm and dry, larger than his own.
Seunghyun freezes, elbows on each side of Jiyong’s shoulders, eyes wide. He shifts his weight up, trying not to lie on top of Jiyong, and Jiyong feels somehow sad, and guilty.
“Sorry,” he says quickly, “I don’t- that’s fine, though, that’s okay.”
Seunghyun stares down at him like he wants to read his thoughts and after a while, he says (and his voice is rough):
“That’s okay?”
Jiyong nods.
Seunghyun breathes deep and lowers himself down, slowly, until he’s pressed flushed on top of Jiyong, and then he kisses him, as if he wants to take Jiyong’s mind off anything that isn’t their tongues in each other’s mouth.
Jiyong wraps his arms around Seunghyun’s shoulder and digs his fingers into flesh, tries to hold on.
Seunghyun slips a hand to his belt buckle and fumbles with his own zipper with the other. He learned to multitask when Jiyong made it clear that it wasn’t a one-way street, that if Jiyong was going to get off then so was Seunghyun.
The friction is good and Jiyong cants his hips against Seunghyun, wishing to share something. They’re both guys, so they don’t really fit, and it upsets him. Sometimes he wishes they could be like puzzle pieces.
Seunghyun is breathing heavily above him, and it takes a while for Jiyong to realize that his hand has stopped jerking himself off and that his eyes are closed. Like he’s trying to cool off.
“What’s wrong?” Jiyong asks. He’s afraid that it might be a crisis like this once, when Seunghyun froze right in the middle of something good and couldn’t - wouldn’t - look at him.
Seunghyun breathes once, twice, then looks down at Jiyong:
“Do you want to-?”
For a split second, Jiyong considers pretending he didn’t understand, because this is new, although not entirely unexpected. This is new and if he must be honest, he’s scared.
He wants to, he wants to like he wants to debut, but it’s a similar feeling of ‘once you do it, you can’t take it back’. And it’s a lot of responsibility.
“Do- do you?” he asks Seunghyun.
There’s a feeling in Seunghyun’s eyes that mirrors his own.
“Yeah,” Seunghyun says, “yeah, I want to. But I’m not sure we should.”
And Jiyong has always wanted to break rules, has always wanted to be one step ahead of the what-ifs and the shouldn’ts.
“Okay,” he says, “okay, please.”
Seunghyun shudders, and sits back to pull his pants the rest of the way off, hastily tugging on his socks and throwing them away. Jiyong undresses too, with shaky hands, before daring to take a look at Seunghyun.
He pauses, to think about what he really wants.
“Take the shirt off, please,” he asks Seunghyun softly.
Seunghyun swallows and looks to the side. “Close your eyes,” he demands. His voice is small. Jiyong touches his wrist with his fingers.
“No,” he answers.
They stare at each other for a while. This is another aspect of their relation Jiyong isn’t too sure about: with two guys, antagonism is inevitable.
Or maybe it’s just them.
“Fine,” Seunghyun finally says, “but- please. Lie down?”
Jiyong complies, feeling his legs tremble a bit, and Seunghyun straddles him awkwardly, hesitating briefly before pulling his shirt over his head in a rapid movement.
“Do-” Jiyong starts, “do you have a… condom?”
The word is weird on his tongue and he laughs, breathlessly, and Seunghyun laughs too.
“Yeah,” he says. “I thought we might- that you would- Yeah. I do.”
He shows Jiyong a brightly colored packet that reads ‘extra sensitive’. They laugh again, a bit embarrassed.
“And I have, uh, ‘lube’, too,” Seunghyun says. He smiles at Jiyong, apologetic, dorky, perfect.
It hurts, of course it does, but Seunghyun keeps kissing him all the way through the clumsy details - fingers and slippery lubricant and a bit of too much too fast.
Jiyong slowly learns to almost enjoy the stretch, the feeling of Seunghyun taking care of him, even if it’s embarrassing, stripping himself of literally everything, just for Seunghyun
Just for Seunghyun, he repeats in his head. Only for Seunghyun.
That’s the best part.
“Now?” Seunghyun asks, looking dead-scared. Jiyong cups his face between both hands and kisses him on the mouth, says:
“Yes. Now.”
He’s unsure but it’s okay. Now or never. Doing this, Jiyong thinks, is taking a step towards the person he wants to become.
Seunghyun’s fingers are too thick, too slippery to open the condom wrapper, so Jiyong takes it from his hand and bites the edge off.
He lets Seunghyun wrap it around himself without watching, mostly because he doesn’t know if Seunghyun would be okay with it, and also because Jiyong is afraid that he might change his mind at the last minute.
“Okay,” Seunghyun says, “okay, now.”
It hurts- it hurts like nothing has hurt before, and for a second Jiyong wants to scream and throw punches and stalk off, but then he opens his eyes, and sees Seunghyun who looks so miserable and insecure and it changes everything.
It makes him want to be better for him, makes him breathe deeply through his nose and relax the muscles from his stomach down to his thighs, until Seunghyun stops looking like it’s hurting him too, and starts wearing a blissful expression Jiyong has never, ever seen on his face.
“I’m gonna start moving,” Seunghyun tells him softly. “I can’t-”
The rest of his sentence is lost on a moan when his hips jerk first forward, then pull away, and Jiyong’s breath is knocked off because this isn’t anything he had expected.
It’s at the same time better and worse.
It’s getting lost into feeling and Seunghyun and pain that starts to fade off, slowly, letting pleasure in, until Jiyong has his arms wrapped around Seunghyun’s waist and they have both stopped caring about every detail that used to bother them.
Seunghyun comes quickly, and Jiyong doesn’t. He winces when he feels him pulling out but - and that’s a first, too, Seunghyun is bending down and clumsily mouthing at his cock while stroking him with tense fingers until Jiyong cries out and comes.
It’s not the best orgasm he’s ever had, but it comes close.
Seunghyun puts his teeshirt back on before wiping them both as best as he can with a sock.
“Sorry,” he grimaces.
Jiyong cuddles close to him and prays for their debut to come, soon.
Prompt: awkward, first-time sex. bonus points if it's pre-debut and includes a slightly chubby top and his body issues, and a trying to be in charge but very nervous gd.
link here
There are no stars in the sky of Seoul at night and it’s more dirty orange than dark blue, but Jiyong likes it nonetheless - likes this, lying next to Seunghyun on the roof, after cigarettes that have stopped tasting too bitter and bottles of beer that he pretends to be drunk on.
The palms of their hands are warm and clammy, stuck together, and when Jiyong shifts he feels Seunghyun squeeze minutely.
“We should call our group Galaxy,” Jiyong murmurs, looking up at the sky. He wishes he could see shapes and constellations. There’s only pollution. He hears Seunghyun snort:
“Galaxy? Why?”
Jiyong fumbles for words and meanings:
“’cause, you see, there’s you, and I, and YB, and Dae, and Hyunseung, and-” Seunghyun props himself into his elbows to look at him, with the grin that digs dimples into his cheeks; Jiyong loses his thread of thought. “-and, and, I don’t know? The five of us, we’re gonna be stars, we’re gonna make a galaxy?”
Seunghyun leans down to kiss him with a hand that cups his jaw. Jiyong inhales sharply through his nostrils, still unused to this.
This being Seunghyun, here and warm and solid, the low rumble of his voice that Jiyong likes so much, in Jiyong’s ear, saying stuff like:
“You’re beautiful, you know?”
stuff that Jiyong thought was corny - adult stuff, more so than the videos he watches at night with Youngbae.
He pulls Seunghyun on top of him because thinking about porn makes him crave the contact of Seunghyun’s palm around his cock, warm and dry, larger than his own.
Seunghyun freezes, elbows on each side of Jiyong’s shoulders, eyes wide. He shifts his weight up, trying not to lie on top of Jiyong, and Jiyong feels somehow sad, and guilty.
“Sorry,” he says quickly, “I don’t- that’s fine, though, that’s okay.”
Seunghyun stares down at him like he wants to read his thoughts and after a while, he says (and his voice is rough):
“That’s okay?”
Jiyong nods.
Seunghyun breathes deep and lowers himself down, slowly, until he’s pressed flushed on top of Jiyong, and then he kisses him, as if he wants to take Jiyong’s mind off anything that isn’t their tongues in each other’s mouth.
Jiyong wraps his arms around Seunghyun’s shoulder and digs his fingers into flesh, tries to hold on.
Seunghyun slips a hand to his belt buckle and fumbles with his own zipper with the other. He learned to multitask when Jiyong made it clear that it wasn’t a one-way street, that if Jiyong was going to get off then so was Seunghyun.
The friction is good and Jiyong cants his hips against Seunghyun, wishing to share something. They’re both guys, so they don’t really fit, and it upsets him. Sometimes he wishes they could be like puzzle pieces.
Seunghyun is breathing heavily above him, and it takes a while for Jiyong to realize that his hand has stopped jerking himself off and that his eyes are closed. Like he’s trying to cool off.
“What’s wrong?” Jiyong asks. He’s afraid that it might be a crisis like this once, when Seunghyun froze right in the middle of something good and couldn’t - wouldn’t - look at him.
Seunghyun breathes once, twice, then looks down at Jiyong:
“Do you want to-?”
For a split second, Jiyong considers pretending he didn’t understand, because this is new, although not entirely unexpected. This is new and if he must be honest, he’s scared.
He wants to, he wants to like he wants to debut, but it’s a similar feeling of ‘once you do it, you can’t take it back’. And it’s a lot of responsibility.
“Do- do you?” he asks Seunghyun.
There’s a feeling in Seunghyun’s eyes that mirrors his own.
“Yeah,” Seunghyun says, “yeah, I want to. But I’m not sure we should.”
And Jiyong has always wanted to break rules, has always wanted to be one step ahead of the what-ifs and the shouldn’ts.
“Okay,” he says, “okay, please.”
Seunghyun shudders, and sits back to pull his pants the rest of the way off, hastily tugging on his socks and throwing them away. Jiyong undresses too, with shaky hands, before daring to take a look at Seunghyun.
He pauses, to think about what he really wants.
“Take the shirt off, please,” he asks Seunghyun softly.
Seunghyun swallows and looks to the side. “Close your eyes,” he demands. His voice is small. Jiyong touches his wrist with his fingers.
“No,” he answers.
They stare at each other for a while. This is another aspect of their relation Jiyong isn’t too sure about: with two guys, antagonism is inevitable.
Or maybe it’s just them.
“Fine,” Seunghyun finally says, “but- please. Lie down?”
Jiyong complies, feeling his legs tremble a bit, and Seunghyun straddles him awkwardly, hesitating briefly before pulling his shirt over his head in a rapid movement.
“Do-” Jiyong starts, “do you have a… condom?”
The word is weird on his tongue and he laughs, breathlessly, and Seunghyun laughs too.
“Yeah,” he says. “I thought we might- that you would- Yeah. I do.”
He shows Jiyong a brightly colored packet that reads ‘extra sensitive’. They laugh again, a bit embarrassed.
“And I have, uh, ‘lube’, too,” Seunghyun says. He smiles at Jiyong, apologetic, dorky, perfect.
It hurts, of course it does, but Seunghyun keeps kissing him all the way through the clumsy details - fingers and slippery lubricant and a bit of too much too fast.
Jiyong slowly learns to almost enjoy the stretch, the feeling of Seunghyun taking care of him, even if it’s embarrassing, stripping himself of literally everything, just for Seunghyun
Just for Seunghyun, he repeats in his head. Only for Seunghyun.
That’s the best part.
“Now?” Seunghyun asks, looking dead-scared. Jiyong cups his face between both hands and kisses him on the mouth, says:
“Yes. Now.”
He’s unsure but it’s okay. Now or never. Doing this, Jiyong thinks, is taking a step towards the person he wants to become.
Seunghyun’s fingers are too thick, too slippery to open the condom wrapper, so Jiyong takes it from his hand and bites the edge off.
He lets Seunghyun wrap it around himself without watching, mostly because he doesn’t know if Seunghyun would be okay with it, and also because Jiyong is afraid that he might change his mind at the last minute.
“Okay,” Seunghyun says, “okay, now.”
It hurts- it hurts like nothing has hurt before, and for a second Jiyong wants to scream and throw punches and stalk off, but then he opens his eyes, and sees Seunghyun who looks so miserable and insecure and it changes everything.
It makes him want to be better for him, makes him breathe deeply through his nose and relax the muscles from his stomach down to his thighs, until Seunghyun stops looking like it’s hurting him too, and starts wearing a blissful expression Jiyong has never, ever seen on his face.
“I’m gonna start moving,” Seunghyun tells him softly. “I can’t-”
The rest of his sentence is lost on a moan when his hips jerk first forward, then pull away, and Jiyong’s breath is knocked off because this isn’t anything he had expected.
It’s at the same time better and worse.
It’s getting lost into feeling and Seunghyun and pain that starts to fade off, slowly, letting pleasure in, until Jiyong has his arms wrapped around Seunghyun’s waist and they have both stopped caring about every detail that used to bother them.
Seunghyun comes quickly, and Jiyong doesn’t. He winces when he feels him pulling out but - and that’s a first, too, Seunghyun is bending down and clumsily mouthing at his cock while stroking him with tense fingers until Jiyong cries out and comes.
It’s not the best orgasm he’s ever had, but it comes close.
Seunghyun puts his teeshirt back on before wiping them both as best as he can with a sock.
“Sorry,” he grimaces.
Jiyong cuddles close to him and prays for their debut to come, soon.