(no subject)
i can feel my heartbeat in my throat.
fucker.
why cant i sleep ; why do i look on random websites.
FUCK.
im done with this shit.
im done with this fuckin journal.
(maybe), i have no will power. fuckin ocd on this shit or something.
i just wish i could stop hearing my heartbeat in my fuckin throat and stomach. its loud. BITCh.
its right as rain.. dont forget to never remember. you havent laughed in such a long time. its right as rain.. one salty kiss stays forever on our fingertips..
btw. i dont know how i feel about that other fucker i talked about. i just like being around him. thats all. fuckin butt dumpling. FUCK, i wanted to go to sleep thinking about jeff friesen, now i go thinking about this garbage again. i feel like putting my hands over my ears and yelling "IM DONE! IM DONE! IM DONE" over and over again until the words are just buzzing. WHATEVER. SLEEP. lets see what kind of things i dream about tonight >.<
there is something demoralizing about watching two people get more and more crazy about each other, especially when you are the only extra person in the room.
its like watching Paris from an express caboose heading in the opposite direction - every second the city gets smaller and smaller, only you feels its really you getting smaller and smaller and lonelier and lonelier, rushing away from all those lights and that excitement at about a million miles an hour. - Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar.
sigh. i hate fuckin feelings. well. at least, i dispise them.
edit (Five seconds later..) - wahtever. ill try to continue being happy. ill just surround myself with the peeps. <333. ill just pretend this never hapened, despite its being documented in this messed up live journal. mad times = mad sleep. later.
fucker.
why cant i sleep ; why do i look on random websites.
FUCK.
im done with this shit.
im done with this fuckin journal.
(maybe), i have no will power. fuckin ocd on this shit or something.
i just wish i could stop hearing my heartbeat in my fuckin throat and stomach. its loud. BITCh.
its right as rain.. dont forget to never remember. you havent laughed in such a long time. its right as rain.. one salty kiss stays forever on our fingertips..
btw. i dont know how i feel about that other fucker i talked about. i just like being around him. thats all. fuckin butt dumpling. FUCK, i wanted to go to sleep thinking about jeff friesen, now i go thinking about this garbage again. i feel like putting my hands over my ears and yelling "IM DONE! IM DONE! IM DONE" over and over again until the words are just buzzing. WHATEVER. SLEEP. lets see what kind of things i dream about tonight >.<
there is something demoralizing about watching two people get more and more crazy about each other, especially when you are the only extra person in the room.
its like watching Paris from an express caboose heading in the opposite direction - every second the city gets smaller and smaller, only you feels its really you getting smaller and smaller and lonelier and lonelier, rushing away from all those lights and that excitement at about a million miles an hour. - Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar.
sigh. i hate fuckin feelings. well. at least, i dispise them.
edit (Five seconds later..) - wahtever. ill try to continue being happy. ill just surround myself with the peeps. <333. ill just pretend this never hapened, despite its being documented in this messed up live journal. mad times = mad sleep. later.