Cross Into the Blue Part Five
Please see the masterpost for warnings.
Part Four
Frank solved the issue of Ray not wanting to go into his room by telling him to go to bed already so Frank could get some rest. There were probably better ways he could have handled it but he hadn’t been able to think of any. Frank sank into a restless sleep but woke up hours later when he heard someone shuffling around in the kitchen.
It was his mother. Frank could tell by scent, and he shifted on his bed and then called out to her softly.
“Are you okay, Frankie?” Linda asked, coming to the doorway. She was holding a glass of water and she looked tired.
“I’m fine. What time is it?”
“Just after two.” Linda smiled. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“I’m not sleeping well either.”
“Can I get you something?”
“Coffee?”
“You’ll be awake all night.”
Frank sighed. “Okay, just water then?”
Linda brought him a glass of water and handed it over, sitting on the edge of the bed while he drank. “Are you comfortable?”
“Yeah,” said Frank. “I’m fine.” Linda was quiet, and from experience he knew it wasn’t that she had nothing to say but that she was choosing not to say it. “What is it?” he asked.
“What’s Ray like?” she wondered, taking Frank by surprise.
“Ray? He’s awesome.” A giddy feeling rose up in Frank, and he recognised it because an SRB liaison had come to talk to him and explained that it was an effect of recently bonding. Frank didn’t care; it was still true. “He’s fun to be around. He’s a nice guy.”
“He’s good to you?” Linda asked.
“Yeah, Mom, of course,” said Frank, rolling his eyes.
“It’s just that you’re so young to be tied to one person for the rest of your life.”
“Tied isn’t the word I’d use...”
“But it is permanent, isn’t it?” Linda asked. “This bond thing.”
“Well, yeah, but that’s okay. Ray’s a good guy.”
“But you won’t get the chance to meet other Guides and see how you work with them.”
“Yeah, but it’s not like...” Frank paused. He’d been about to say that it wasn’t like marrying your first girlfriend, except that it kind of was. And even the Air Force said Sentinels should work with a few different Guides before they picked one to bond with. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand his mother’s worries, it was just that he didn’t feel the same way. He was happy with Ray. “We work together well,” he said instead.
“So you two aren’t... it’s just that I’ve heard lots of Sentinels and Guides are, uh...”
“Oh, yeah. Well, we are. I guess.”
“You guess?” Linda asked, her voice just slightly teasing.
“I don’t know, Mom, okay? It’s just a new thing, jeez...”
“But that’s what I mean, Frankie,” she said more seriously. “You haven’t known him for long. You’re only just getting to know one another, and now...”
“It’s fine,” Frank insisted. “It’s too late to take it back now, anyway.”
Linda did not seem reassured. “How did it happen, anyway?” she asked. “You said on the phone it was because of the accident?”
Oh, boy. “We were stuck in the car overnight until someone found us,” Frank said. Linda squeezed his hand and he squeezed it back. It had been pretty scary. At the time, he’d wanted his mom. “I was hurt pretty bad, and it was painful, so Ray had to link up so I could stop my senses spiking, and then we were linked up too long.”
“Hmm,” said Linda, and that wasn’t just a ‘hmm’, it was a ‘hmm’ which had other words in it.
“What?” asked Frank testily.
“Well, it’s just...” Linda hesitated, and Frank grew crabbier.
“No,” he said.
“No, what?”
“No, Ray didn’t take advantage of me. He didn’t sustain the link on purpose while I was too out of it to know what was happening.”
“Okay, Frank, I believe you,” she said, and then ruined it by adding, “but how do you know?”
“Because Ray said he didn’t, and I can tell when someone’s lying!” Frank snapped. The G-TAC assholes who had come to the hospital had seemed to have trouble with that concept too. Sure, Ray had been agitated and anxious when they asked him about it, but that was because they were interrogating him. Anyone would have reacted the same way.
“Alright then, that’s good,” said Linda, standing up and taking Frank’s empty glass. “You can’t blame me for being concerned.”
“I don’t,” said Frank, “but if you bother Ray about this or make him feel bad...”
“I won’t!” said Linda. “You should know me better than that, Frankie. I just worry about you.”
Frank relaxed slightly. “I know. I just...” He paused. He couldn’t share things with his mother that he was uncomfortable knowing himself. “He’s been through some stuff,” he said. “And some of the Air Force guys have given him a rough time. You know one of them suggested he orchestrated the accident so he’d be able to bond? He wasn’t even driving!”
“That’s awful,” said Linda, and she softened immediately. Frank felt sort of bad for manipulating her, except... well, it was true.
Frank yawned widely and Linda stood up. “I need to go try to sleep some more, and so do you,” she said. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
***************
Ray’s mother came by mid-morning the next day. Linda had had to go to work and Frank was dozing in the living room with an episode of The Bold and the Beautiful playing softly in the background, so Ray hurried to answer the door before the bell woke him.
He’d sort of expected that she would look angry and disappointed. She didn’t, though, and the second she opened the door her face seemed to crumple.
“Ray,” she said, “it’s good to see you.” She reached for him, and Ray didn’t know how to hold back from her. He went into her arms and wanted never to let go.
“I missed you,” he said, once he was sure he could speak clearly.
“Well,” she said some time later, stepping back and swatting Ray on the chest, “come help me get everything out of the car, then.”
“Ma,” Ray groaned, but she wasn’t listening. The car was loaded. She’d baked cookies, sometime between when Ray had called the night before and now, and she’d packed a stack of photo albums. Too many, Ray thought, to simply be from the years since he’d left home, but he didn’t like to ask. She’d brought his guitar, because she’d asked if he wanted it and he’d hesitated slightly before saying no.
Frank had woken up by the time they got everything inside, although he didn’t look very alert. He was blinking at a commercial for insect repellent and seemed happy to be distracted.
“This is my mom, Georgina,” said Ray, “and this is Second Lieutenant Iero.”
“Frank,” said Frank instantly, reaching for a handshake with his good hand.
“It’s a pleasure,” said Georgina, and Frank’s eyes fell on the photo albums.
“Are those photos?” he asked, the speed of his words increasing rapidly. “Do you have photos of Ray? Baby photos of Ray?”
“No,” said Ray quickly, but Georgina answered at the same time.
“Yes.”
“Cool!” exclaimed Frank, and Ray sighed and consoled himself with the thought that he could probably get Linda to dig out photos of every embarrassing thing Frank had ever done, once she got home. He moved the guitar case over to lean it against the wall, and that was the next thing to catch Frank’s attention.
“You play?”
“Yeah,” said Ray reluctantly.
“Me too!” Frank said excitedly. “I guess I can’t right now, though. Damn.” He scowled down at his cast and Ray felt a little bad for him.
“Would you play something?” Frank asked. Ray stopped feeling sympathetic towards him instantly.
“I don’t know...” he said.
“Go on, Raymond, play something,” said Georgina. Ray couldn’t believe he’d been so happy to see her just minutes before. “We’d all like to hear you play.” She looked over towards Frank. “He’s so good,” she gushed. “Ray was in a band in high school, weren’t you, Ray?”
Ray made a face and opened the guitar case while Frank asked about his band and talked about the bands he’d been in during school and college.
“I used to want to be a rock star,” said Frank, “but with the whole Sentinel thing... the noise doesn’t bother me, but the lights were an issue. I had trouble playing in clubs, and I tried to go on tour after my freshman year of college, but I didn’t realise how bad people could smell after not showering for a week. Of course, boot camp is just as bad but they don’t tell you that ahead of time.”
Ray had to snicker at that. He’d toured after high school. It had been cut short when he’d been drafted, but it had been the best time of his life. He tuned the guitar by ear, rather sloppily. There was a tuner in the case but he didn’t bother to use it. He wasn’t going to play well anyway, might as well have the weak excuse of poor tuning on his side.
He played the first thing he could think of, which turned out to be an Iron Maiden song - no surprise there. He remembered the first part well, with only a few parts sounding off, but then he couldn’t remember how to play the transition to the chorus and ended up playing the first verse again. He stopped and lowered the guitar, frustrated.
"You're pretty good!" Frank said, grinning hugely. Ray sighed and put the guitar back in its case. Pretty good, like a little kid learning to play a G chord for the first time, when they couldn't get all the notes to sound simultaneously, but you told them they were awesome anyway because at least they were the right ones.
The band he’d toured with hadn’t been anything special and they hadn’t gone far, but when he'd played, people had noticed him. They'd looked at him like he knew something, was someone worth listening to. That had never happened again after he'd gone into the Air Force. He'd got used to people treating him like he was a bit dim, like he needed to be told what to do in the simplest terms, like every time he managed to do something right it was a minor miracle, because he was a Guide and Guides weren't good at that sort of thing, things which mattered. But at least he'd always known he was good at something. Now he had to question that too.
After another thirty minutes or so of chatting, Georgina said, “You must come home for dinner tonight, Ray, and see your father and brothers.”
“I can’t,” said Ray instantly, only to be pinned by matching incredulous looks from Frank and Georgina.
“Why on earth not?” Georgina asked.
“Yeah,” said Frank. “Of course you can.”
Ray blinked at them both. “I need to stay here and take care of Frank!” he insisted. “I’m his Guide.”
“Don’t be silly, Ray,” said Georgina. “Of course you can take one night off to see your poor mother who may not be long for this world.”
“Oh, God, please don’t talk about dying,” Ray groaned. He glanced over at Frank who was smirking with suppressed amusement.
“She’s right,” Frank said. “My mom can take care of me tonight. You should go see your family.”
It seemed like everyone’s mind was made up without needing to ask Ray’s permission, anyway. He didn’t really mind. He just hoped his G-TAC liaison never got wind of it. They’d...
Well, actually, they probably wouldn’t do a damn thing. They couldn’t, not now. Not with him bonded to Frank.
And that was how Ray ended up going home with his mother to help her cook tea. He took his guitar with him, partly because he thought there might be a chance to ‘forget’ it up in his bedroom, and partly because he didn’t want to leave it out of his sight. He could see that those two conflicting desires were going to clash sometime in the near future, but he’d worry about it when it happened.
“I made your bedroom into a guest room,” Georgina said as they drove, “but all your things are still in there. You can take whatever you want with you.”
The house had no right to look exactly like it did in his memory, not when Ray had changed so much. It was unfair, like the house itself was rubbing in the fact that he didn’t belong any more.
His father and brothers were pleased to see him, but the conversation was awkward. No one seemed to know what to say to anyone else until the food was ready, and then talking happened without needing any input from Ray. He tried not to feel hurt by it. He could hardly expect that after four years they wouldn’t have got used to him not being around. It was for the best, anyway; after just a few short months, he’d be gone again, and who knew how long it would be before he could come back. If he ever did.
He slipped out of the room after the meal, hoping that no one noticed. He went up to his room - to the guest room, and took out his guitar, cradling it in his arms and strumming the strings quietly. Someone knocked softly on his bedroom door and his mother's voice called, "Can I come in, Ray?"
He didn't really want to see anyone, but it was his mother, so he said, "Sure."
She came through the door and closed it behind her, giving him a piercing look. "Now, sweetie," she said firmly, "do you want to tell me what's been going on?"
Ray looked down, focusing on his hands on the guitar strings. She knew something was wrong. Of course she did. She would have known ever since his phone call a month ago, when he'd nearly ended up crying on the line to her. And she wouldn't let it go; his mom didn't do that. He couldn't tell her the truth. It wasn't just that he didn't want to talk about it. After this week was up, he had to go back to the Air Force, back to dealing with G-TAC and the SRB and every airman who thought Guides were useless. There was no way for him to get out of it, and if his mom had too accurate an idea of what his life was really like, it would just upset her. Ray didn't want her to worry when there was nothing she could do. He'd be fine, anyway. He could deal with it himself, and it would be better if he didn't have to worry about how his family was coping at the same time.
"Raymond?" she asked softly while he sat there. Ray sniffed, and she put a hand on his shoulder. She sat next to him on the bed and put her arms around him. Ray went where he was moved without a fight, because that meant he could put his face against her shoulder, and that was better. Better that she couldn't see him.
They sat like that for a long time.
*******************
It wasn’t long before Frank had had as much lying around and sleeping as he felt like doing. Unfortunately, he was still a long way from being able to get up and move around on his own. He got bored quickly, and a bored Frank, he could readily admit, was difficult to put up with.
He had follow-up appointments with his doctor, to make sure the broken bones were healing right. He seemed happy with Frank’s progress and let him switch from the bulky casts on his legs to more lightweight ones. If Frank’s arm hadn’t been broken as well, the doctor said he’d have been able to get around on crutches or a walking stick, a prospect Frank found unbearably tantalising. As it was, though, he was still confined to a wheelchair which he couldn’t even wheel by himself.
Ray had been taking care of him, and while he was pretty good company, there was something about the solemn way he did it that bothered Frank. Like someone was giving him marks. He went back to his family’s house a few times, but never for longer than half a day.
“You must have friends that you’d like to catch up with,” Frank insisted. He did. He’d called most of them, the ones who were still in Belleville, and some of them had come around to visit. None of them had stayed very long. They were all busy now, with jobs and girlfriends and who knew what else. A couple of them had kids now. Kids. The idea blew Frank’s mind. “Don’t you?” Frank pushed, when Ray didn’t answer.
“Not really,” he said at last, reluctantly like he was hoping Frank would forget what they were talking about and let the subject drop. “I’ve lost touch with most of them.”
Right. Maybe he should have let the matter drop, but on the other hand, Frank knew there was more to it than Ray was letting on.
“There’s that guy you write to sometimes, isn’t there? Mikey or whatever?”
“Oh, yeah,” Ray agreed slowly. “I think he’s pretty busy, though.”
Having had plenty of practice, Frank had learned how to tell when Ray was... not quite lying, but keeping something back that he didn’t think Frank needed to know. He’d never do something as forthright as tell Frank to mind his own damn business, of course. On the other hand, he couldn’t help wondering if he could push Ray to that point. He’d been being careful, Frank understood that now, but the bond was irreversible. He could tell Frank to fuck off without anything awful coming of it. If Frank just gave him enough of a nudge...
“You should call and ask him!” Frank insisted. “You never know.”
“I might,” Ray said, like the words were being dragged out of him.
“If you end up meeting up with them, maybe I could come along,” Frank added. He felt sort of bad about inviting himself along, but he was tired of being cooped up in the house every day. “It would be nice to get out for a bit,” he said without feeling a trace of guilt. It was the simple truth.
“He’s a Guide,” Ray blurted out, looking sort of startled like the words had come out unintentionally. “Mikey’s a Guide. His brother, Gerard, is his Sentinel.”
“Oh.” Frank hadn’t been expecting that, but when he thought about it, it did explain Ray’s evasiveness. Sentinels could be possessive, especially newly bonded Sentinels. And yeah, Frank could admit that the idea of Ray hanging out with another Sentinel wasn’t really filling him with joy. But on the other hand, now he knew what was up he could deal with it. Ray should be able to see his friends. “So we probably shouldn’t just turn up, then?”
That actually got Ray to laugh. “No, probably not.”
*******************
Frank was still reliant on his wheelchair to get around, but Ray was up and walking finally, and took the opportunity to get Frank out of the house. Linda had taken them out a few times, but she was pretty busy and Ray gathered that Frank didn’t relish the idea of tagging along with his mother all day, which he could understand.
They went to the comic book store, which was great. Frank amassed a stack of what seemed like every second comic the store carried, talking excitedly about all the catching up he had to do. Ray grabbed the issues off the shelves as Frank pointed them out and put them on Frank’s lap. They were heading for the register when Frank looked back at him, tilting his head back against the wheelchair to look at Ray upside down which made him feel dizzy.
“Don’t you want anything?”
Ray looked around. It hadn’t occurred to him to look for something for himself. It had been years since he’d read a comic; the titles he’d once followed now looked unfamiliar and he didn’t know where to start. Frank’s question had made him want to get something, though, so he picked up a Batman issue at random and continued towards the checkout. They had a brief but fierce discussion over who was going to pay, but Frank must have realised that paying for himself was important to Ray because he backed off pretty quickly.
Ray had expected Frank to have other plans once they’d been to the comic book store, but instead he glanced over at Ray again and said, “Anything you want to do?”
Ray opened his mouth to say no, but changed his mind before he spoke. “Why don’t I take you to my favourite music store,” he said instead.
It was a pretty awesome store, if Ray said so himself. They had a huge selection of CDs, cassettes and vinyl, and back in high school when Ray had been dropping in frequently enough that he’d known all the staff by name, the owner had made a point of holding anything that came in that he thought Ray would be interested in.
Frank set himself up with a set of headphones and seemed content to sit and listen, so Ray wandered the racks, looking for CDs that caught his eye. He was trying to decide between two when he felt a pull through the bond - and that sensation wasn’t getting any less strange - and realised that Frank was looking for him.
“I have to get this album!” Frank exclaimed, waving the headphones over his head with his one good hand, an earsplitting grin on his face. So they grabbed it and Ray gave the CD to Frank to hold, which made him realise he still hadn’t made up his own mind.
“I don’t know which one to get,” he said when Frank asked him what was bothering him.
“So just get both?” Frank suggested, and Ray could feel himself relax. Of course. He could get both of them, if he wanted to. He was bonded now; he wasn’t going to be shipped around to a new Sentinel and have to conform to whatever luggage restrictions they, or the Air Force, saw fit to impose. He could just leave his stuff with his mother, if he wanted to, but if he wanted to take anything with him he was pretty sure Frank would be cool with that too.
Ray hadn’t expected Eric, the store owner, to recognise him, but he did a slow double take when Ray reached the front off the line, and said “Toro! What the hell happened to your hair?”
Ray gave a startled laugh. “Air Force,” he explained. “This is my Sentinel, Frank.” Introducing Frank like that was sort of a thrill - getting to say ‘my Sentinel’, like Frank was his, and also introducing Frank by his first name, like they were friends, and not just officer and subordinate - which Ray was also pretty sure was true.
They exchanged a few pleasantries and then it was time to go - they’d arranged to meet Mikey and Gerard at a Chinese restaurant for a late lunch. After Ray had explained the situation to Frank and he hadn’t flipped his shit, Ray had begun to feel some tentative anticipation. He was looking forward to seeing them again. He’d talked to a few old friends since coming back to Belleville, but their lives had all gone in a very different direction than his. The Ways would at least understand what it meant to be a Guide.
He wasn’t sure how Frank was handling it. He seemed fine, and he’d taken the revelation that Gerard was a Sentinel pretty well, but there was no guarantee he wouldn’t flip out once he actually got near another Sentinel. It was making Ray feel pretty nervous.
They were already there when Ray and Frank reached the restaurant, sitting in the back and talking quietly. They looked just the same. Mikey’s glasses nearly sliding off the end of his nose, Gerard fidgeting in his seat with his fingers covered in dried paint, both of them looking like they hadn’t washed their hair in a week.
They stood up when Ray and Frank got close, standing shoulder to shoulder with their eyes coming to rest on Frank in a show of unity that Ray thought was meant to appear threatening. He thought they should have saved their energy; Gerard and Mikey were about as threatening as a pair of puppies. Frank, for his part, stopped a few feet from the table, which made it a little awkward to introduce him but Ray managed.
“Hey,” he said. “This is Lieutenant Iero. Uh, Frank. Frank, this is Gerard and Mikey.”
They all nodded at one another and Gerard, who looked unusually solemn, finally cracked a smile. They sat at the table and Ray glanced around for the waiter. Frank picked up a menu and asked, “So what’s good here?”
Gerard and Mikey were having a not-quite-argument about whether Gerard would get noodles as well as rice, so Ray looked over the menu to see if it had changed.
"I usually get the sweet and sour pork," he said. "But they'll do anything with tofu instead of meat, if you ask for it. The vegetable stir fry is actually really good, but it's kind of hot."
Frank nodded and had made up his mind by the time the waiter came to take their orders. There was a moment’s lull once the waiter was gone, during which Gerard looked at Frank thoughtfully and then said, "So, Frank, I take it we have you to thank for Ray suddenly remembering that we exist?"
"Fuck's sake, Gerard," said Ray, turning bright red. "You won't be invited next time." Interfering little shit. He could feel Frank stiffening beside him and reaching to take his hand, as though he thought Ray needed his protection. It was a sweet thought, but still...
“Air Force keeps us pretty busy,” Frank said in a clipped voice. “I don’t remember Ray getting a whole lot of letters from you two, either.”
Jesus Christ. Ray kept still and tried to pretend that he was resting his hand on his knee because it was comfortable and not because Frank was holding on to it. He looked at Mikey as though he could will Gerard out of existence too, and said the first thing which came into his head, which happened to be: “Any good shows coming up this weekend?"
Mikey launched into a spiel about a show he was planning to go to and Ray listened, but was distracted when Gerard said to Frank, "We used to send letters once a month, regular, but for a while Ray didn't reply. A few got sent back to us unopened."
“I didn’t know that,” Ray said, too startled to keep the words in. Reading letters from friends and family was a privilege Major Stephens had only extended if he thought Ray had earned it, and being permitted to write a reply had been rarer still, but it sounded like he’d sent a few of them back without even telling Ray about it. Maybe he’d decided that reading letters from friends was too frivolous for a Guide, or something. It wouldn’t surprise Ray.
He wished he’d kept his mouth shut when Frank and Gerard turned to look at him with pitying expressions. He huddled down in his chair and wished to disappear.
“Are you in the service?” Frank asked, blatantly changing the subject.
“Nah,” said Gerard. “We work for the health department.” He made a face, which made Ray laugh almost as much as the idea of Gerard and Mikey in the military.
“Oh, that sounds... interesting,” said Frank.
“It’s shitty,” said Gerard. “Sniffing out rats. Looking for bacteria. Tasting ancient grease.” Frank made a face.
“It’s not all bad,” said Mikey. “We get excellent service pretty much everywhere.” As if to make his point, a waiter came by with a jug of water and extra napkins.
“I’m nearly finished a degree in social work, and Mikey’s halfway through his,” said Gerard. “We want to see if we can convince the SRB to let us switch fields, but it’s not easy to do that if they can’t see how Sentinel senses are useful. Really, in social work, it’s Mikey who’d have more of an advantage, so of course our liaisons have this gigantic stick up their collective asses about the whole thing.”
“Huh. That sounds pretty frustrating,” said Frank. Ray was impressed that he was taking meeting Gerard so well. A lot of people found him a bit overwhelming, even if they didn’t have a Sentinel’s territorial imperative to worry about.
After the meal, Ray excused himself to use the bathroom and wasn’t too surprised when Mikey followed him a minute or two later. “What’s Frank like, really?” Mikey asked while Ray washed his hands.
“He’s really great,” Ray said.
“Good, because Gerard will kick his ass if he’s a dick to you,” Mikey said. Ray gave him a sceptical look. “Okay, he won’t,” Mikey admitted. “He’ll give him some big sad speech and make Frank feel really shitty about himself.”
“That, I could see,” Ray agreed. “But it’s cool. Frank’s awesome.” It was just as well, too, because they weren’t far enough away to keep Frank from listening to the conversation if he felt like it. That probably hadn’t occurred to Mikey, who’d been bonded to Gerard since he was a kid. Sometimes, in the years since finishing school, Ray had envied him that innocence, but now it made him happy.
“We weren’t sure what he’d be like,” Mikey said. “We were kind of preparing for him to be a jerk, because... well, you never said much in your letters, but we could tell something was wrong. Isn’t it?” he added, when Ray started and turned away, making a show of fixing his clothes in the mirror.
“Everything’s fine,” Ray said. Mikey’s expression remained doubtful and Ray sighed. It was like his mother all over again. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he said, “But things are better now, with Frank, and now that we’re bonded. So you can call Gee off. Oh, God,” he said, suddenly realising. “We’ve left them alone out there. Tell me Gerard wasn’t planning to interrogate Frank about his intentions or anything.”
“Not exactly,” said Mikey with a smirk.
*****************
Frank wasn’t sure if Mikey thought he was being subtle when he slipped out to the bathrooms after Ray. He wasn’t furtive about it, but he wasn’t particularly nonchalant either, walking away with a purposeful, focused expression on his face. He tried not to worry about it and keep his mind on Gerard, who was still sitting across the table, but that only reminded him that possibly the only thing keeping him from being beat up was whatever Mikey reported back. Gerard had no right to be as intimidating as he was; he was short (although taller than Frank) and he dressed kind of like a dork, but somehow, Frank was a little scared to see him pissed off.
“So, what do you think of being bonded so far?” Gerard asked.
“It’s... nice.”
Gerard grinned. “It’s the best, isn’t it?” I mean, me and Mikey sometimes have the most massive arguments, but I wouldn’t change it for anything.”
“Ray said you’ve been bonded since you were both young?” Frank said curiously.
“Since I was seventeen. Mikey was thirteen. I knew I was going to have to register for the draft soon, possibly be sent somewhere else in the country. You can be, even if you’re a conscientious objector. We were both sure we wanted to bond, so we just decided to do it.”
“You both seem really happy.”
“We are. If you ever want to talk about anything, you can always call me.” Gerard glanced at him. “A lot of Sentinels find it rough when they first bond. Your SRB liaison will always give you advice too, of course.” Frank couldn’t hold back his expression of distaste, and Gerard smiled at him. “Good. That was a test.”
“No shit,” Frank grouched.”If you ask me, we should get rid of the lot of them.”
“You’re pretty young to bond, they tend not to like that. You’ll probably have the SRB on your case for quite a while.”
“Oh, yeah. I was sort of expecting that.” Frank looked at Gerard, judging his sincerity, and decided to share a bit more. “We didn’t exactly bond entirely on purpose. It happened after the accident,” he raised his broken arm to illustrate, “because it took them all night to find us, and we were linked up the whole time.”
“Yeah, that would do it,” Gerard agreed, his surprise fading. “With the added stress and everything - especially if you were particularly compatible.”
“The thing is, G-TAC sort of got it into their head that Ray took advantage of the whole thing,” Frank said, lowering his voice. “Because I was pretty out of it. They were pissed. They let us come home, but I keep worrying about what they’ll try to do once I’m better.”
“They can’t really do anything, aside from make a nuisance of themselves, which they’d do anyway,” said Gerard. “They can’t break the bond, and the law says you’ve got pretty much complete power over any Guide you’re bonded to. They’ll probably make you jump through a bunch of hoops, but they can’t do anything to Ray. Not without your say-so, and you won’t, will you?” He glared at Frank, suddenly fierce.
“Of course not!” Frank said, startled.
“Well then, you’ll be fine,” Gerard said, settling back in his seat, calm once more. “G-TAC likes to think they’re the authority on how Sentinels and Guides are supposed to be. Any decent Sentinel knows better than to pay attention to them.”
“There’s plenty of indecent Sentinels out there, then,” said Frank, thinking of two in particular.
“Yeah. There’s lots who like the power rush,” said Gerard. “And G-TAC won’t do anything about them... shit, they basically tell Sentinels they can do anything to their Guides and that the Guides probably had it coming anyway. I’ve written letters to everyone I could think of, but no one really wants to hear it. I think if G-TAC admits that their whole system is just so much bullshit, people will realise how irrelevant they actually are, so they’ll never let it happen.”
“That’s stupid. People can’t just not noticed how fucked up it all is, can they?”
“Well, most people aren’t Sentinels or Guides. G-TAC keeps the Guides pretty quiet, and Sentinels get a reasonably sweet deal out of the whole situation - or at least, they think they do. Maybe if more normal people, parents with little baby Guides and shit, had a better idea of how things were, it might make a difference. Most newspapers won’t publish letters about it, though, more’s the pity.”
“Huh. Well, if you’re ever looking for a letter writing buddy...”
Gerard grinned broadly. “I knew I liked you!”
*****************
When they reached the house in Linda’s venerable Nissan Pulsar, Ray could tell that Frank was worn out. He’d been very quiet on the drive home, nearly dozing off several times only to startle awake at every red light. Ray carried Frank inside, not wanting to bother wrestling the wheelchair up the steps.
“Carrying me over the threshold, Ray?” Frank said into his neck. Ray snorted.
“Where do you want to go, back to the living room?” he asked.
“I guess,” Frank answered with a sigh.
“Or do you want me to take you up to your room?”
“My room? What on earth would we do up there?” Frank asked, although his playful tone suggested he had an idea or two.
“We’ll just have to think of something,” Ray answered with a grin.
The room was a familiar sight to Ray now, although it had never felt quite right to sleep in Frank’s bed while Frank slept on the couch in his own house. Having Frank in the room with him added a new level of appeal. He put Frank carefully on the bed, but Frank kept his arms wrapped around Ray’s neck. Ray laughed and slid his hands under Frank’s shirt.
“You’re going to have to let go, this will get uncomfortable fast,” said Ray.
“Meh,” Frank said, but he released his grip and let Ray pull his shirt off. “You too,” he demanded, hands instantly going to Ray’s shirt.
Ray took his shirt off and when he looked Frank had his sweatpants half off, awkwardly trying to pull them the rest of the way with his one good hand. It was pretty amusing to watch, but he relented fairly quickly and helped Frank out. He hesitated for a moment over whether to take his pants off, but he was wearing jeans, and as comfortable as they could be, jeans were never good sleepwear. He took them off and nudged Frank over so there was room for him in the bed too.
It was still only a single bed, however, and they were pressed close together. Having Frank so close was having a definite effect on Ray, and when he glanced at Frank’s face he saw that the other man had noticed. Frank put a hand on his hip and rolled onto his side to face Ray squarely, but he grimaced after a moment as the position put pressure on his still healing ribs, and rolled back.
“Still sore?” Ray asked. Frank nodded but nudged Ray’s hip, trying to pull him closer. He slipped two fingertips under the waistband of Ray’s boxers and glanced up at him, eyebrows lifting slightly.
Ray held his breath for a second and then let it rush out, saying, “Okay. Fuck, yes.” He pulled the boxers down, hesitating slightly to pull the elastic over his cock, but Frank reached in and got his hand around Ray, who went from mostly to completely hard in an instant.
“Ohhh,” Ray moaned, his hips thrusting forward. He tried to gather his wits and slid Frank’s boxers down. Frank wriggled his way out of them without a hint of modesty, his dick springing free and bobbing around as he moved. It made Ray snicker a bit, and he reached for it, but Frank got there first, lining Ray’s cock up with his own and wrapping his good hand around them both. Ray gasped at the contact and pressed his face against Frank’s shoulder to hide the noise. It felt amazing, intoxicating and right in a way he hadn’t expected this to ever be again.
Ray sucked at Frank’s neck, rolling over almost on top of him but taking care not to put too much weight on him. Frank got a good rhythm going, spreading precome down Ray’s shaft as he moved his hand, and Ray bucked into his grip. His own hands were free, Ray realised, and that gave him a wealth of choices. He slid one hand up Frank’s chest, pinching at his nipple gently. Frank groaned and pressed into the touch. With his other hand Ray reached down and cupped Frank’s balls, rolling them teasingly between two fingers. Frank spread his legs, although with his boxers around his thighs he couldn’t move too much. Ray moved his hand to get a firmer grip and a fingertip brushed against Frank’s entrance.
He drew his hand away slightly; he hadn’t meant to do that, but Frank didn’t seem bothered - in fact he shuddered and whispered, “Yes, yes. Fuck, do it.” So Ray brought his hand up and stuck two fingers in Frank’s mouth.
Frank sucked on them eagerly, lifting his head to stare into Ray’s eyes. His own eyes were huge, his cheeks flushed. He wrapped his lips around Ray’s fingers and pulled them further into his mouth as though he was sucking on something else, and Ray nearly came then and there. Knowing that they weren’t going to last much longer, he pulled his hand out and found Frank’s hole once more. Frank’s rhythm grew faster but more irregular as Ray pressed one finger inside, and Ray put his free hand over Frank’s. He added a second finger and Frank bucked underneath him, keening quietly and tossing his head. Ray thrust with his fingers in time with his hand on their cocks, and it only took a second or two for Frank to grunt and shudder his climax.
With the slickness of Frank’s come all over his hand, Ray tightened his grip and came with one more stroke. Frank was half asleep already, eyes drooping closed, and Ray dropped a kiss just over his eyebrow before making himself get up to fetch a washcloth.
“Ray?” Frank murmured once they were both cleaned up.
“Mm?”
“That was good. We should just have heaps of sex, all the time.”
Ray couldn’t hold back a giggle, partly because he felt really happy and partly because Frank, almost asleep and very out of it, was unbelievably adorable. Ray kissed him again, because he just couldn’t think of a reason not to.
“I could get on board with that plan,” Ray said. He listened for Frank’s answer, but he was already asleep. Ray shifted his arms to hold Frank more comfortably, and let himself drift away into a contented, dreamless sleep.
***************
Frank placed his duffle bag at the foot of the stairs. “I’ve got everything,” he announced.
“Are you sure?” Ray asked. “Toothpaste? Extra socks?”
Frank groaned. “Seriously? Mom already checked, I’ve got extra everything.” He was trying not to be too annoyed, though. He was pretty sure Ray was only worrying so much because he thought Frank would blame him if anything was left behind, or some G-TAC asshole would accuse him of doing a bad job.
“Okay, I believe you,” said Ray. “Did you grab my hat while you were up there?”
“Shit! No, I forgot,” Frank said. He started climbing back up the stairs, grumbling under his breath. “Elevators. Houses should all have elevators, life would be so much better.”
“You weren’t saying that a month ago,” Ray called after him, amusement clear in his voice. “You were looking for any excuse to go up and down the stairs.”
“Yeah, well, the novelty wears off pretty quick.”
Frank took a last look around the bedroom for anything else that had been left behind. He grabbed a notepad from the dresser; it wouldn’t hurt to have extra paper so he could keep writing to Gerard. They’d made a little bit of progress writing to a local senator about the difficulties Guides faced when trying to report mistreatment. Not to the point of anything actually being done about it, but the guy seemed to be listening, which was something. Frank thought it was pretty sad that it represented the best response they’d had yet, but he refused to be discouraged.
Frank knew it would make a big difference for a lot of Guides if some changes could be made, but it would be dishonest of him not to admit that he’d been thinking of one Sentinel in particular when he suggested they focus on the procedures for reporting abuse. With the system the way it was, there was nothing that could be done about Ray’s previous Sentinels, and Frank knew that Ray worried about it. Frank had promised, several weeks ago, that if he ever met either of them blood would be spilled, and Ray hadn’t taken it well.
“You’d be court martialled, and how do you suppose that would turn out for us?” he’d demanded. Frank had argued, but Ray hadn’t backed down, which had made Frank realise how strongly he felt about it. He’d taken back his words then, but he still wasn’t sure what he’d do if he did come face to face with the Sentinels who’d hurt Ray. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to stay calm, wasn’t sure he’d want to. It was unlikely to ever happen, though, so he tried not to worry about it.
Ray was loading their bags into the car when Frank got downstairs with his cap and notepad and a few other odds and ends. “I hope you’re ready for your boldface and operating limits test,” Ray fretted as Frank squeezed the extra items into his bag.
“I should be, I’ve studied enough,” Frank answered. One perk of being out of commission for three months - he had a bit of an advantage over his classmates when it came to preparation.
Rather than answering, Ray said, “I think we’re ready to go. Where’s Linda?”
“She’s coming,” Frank said, leaning against the car. “There’s plenty of time, our flight doesn’t leave for nearly three hours. But, listen,” he added, taking the chance to be a bit more serious for once. “Now we’re bonded, I can pretty much insist that you get more training while I’m doing training, right?”
“Pretty much, I guess,” Ray agreed. “G-TAC might baulk a little bit, but they couldn’t make it too difficult - it would make them look pretty stupid.”
“That’s what I thought,” Frank agreed. “Assuming I can pass Initial Flight Screening, I’ve got another year of training ahead. You could do... I dunno, whatever. There’s heaps of mechanic training options.”
Ray nodded thoughtfully. “You know, once you’re finished training as a pilot, it’s nearly certain they’ll deploy you overseas,” he said.
“Yeah,” said Frank. The prospect made him pretty nervous, even as far off in the future as it was. “You’ll be with me, though,” he said, and that really did make him feel calmer about the whole thing. “We can look out for each other.”
Ray smiled at him. He often did, now, he seemed much happier, but Frank never got tired of seeing him smile. “Always.”
Part Four
Frank solved the issue of Ray not wanting to go into his room by telling him to go to bed already so Frank could get some rest. There were probably better ways he could have handled it but he hadn’t been able to think of any. Frank sank into a restless sleep but woke up hours later when he heard someone shuffling around in the kitchen.
It was his mother. Frank could tell by scent, and he shifted on his bed and then called out to her softly.
“Are you okay, Frankie?” Linda asked, coming to the doorway. She was holding a glass of water and she looked tired.
“I’m fine. What time is it?”
“Just after two.” Linda smiled. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“I’m not sleeping well either.”
“Can I get you something?”
“Coffee?”
“You’ll be awake all night.”
Frank sighed. “Okay, just water then?”
Linda brought him a glass of water and handed it over, sitting on the edge of the bed while he drank. “Are you comfortable?”
“Yeah,” said Frank. “I’m fine.” Linda was quiet, and from experience he knew it wasn’t that she had nothing to say but that she was choosing not to say it. “What is it?” he asked.
“What’s Ray like?” she wondered, taking Frank by surprise.
“Ray? He’s awesome.” A giddy feeling rose up in Frank, and he recognised it because an SRB liaison had come to talk to him and explained that it was an effect of recently bonding. Frank didn’t care; it was still true. “He’s fun to be around. He’s a nice guy.”
“He’s good to you?” Linda asked.
“Yeah, Mom, of course,” said Frank, rolling his eyes.
“It’s just that you’re so young to be tied to one person for the rest of your life.”
“Tied isn’t the word I’d use...”
“But it is permanent, isn’t it?” Linda asked. “This bond thing.”
“Well, yeah, but that’s okay. Ray’s a good guy.”
“But you won’t get the chance to meet other Guides and see how you work with them.”
“Yeah, but it’s not like...” Frank paused. He’d been about to say that it wasn’t like marrying your first girlfriend, except that it kind of was. And even the Air Force said Sentinels should work with a few different Guides before they picked one to bond with. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand his mother’s worries, it was just that he didn’t feel the same way. He was happy with Ray. “We work together well,” he said instead.
“So you two aren’t... it’s just that I’ve heard lots of Sentinels and Guides are, uh...”
“Oh, yeah. Well, we are. I guess.”
“You guess?” Linda asked, her voice just slightly teasing.
“I don’t know, Mom, okay? It’s just a new thing, jeez...”
“But that’s what I mean, Frankie,” she said more seriously. “You haven’t known him for long. You’re only just getting to know one another, and now...”
“It’s fine,” Frank insisted. “It’s too late to take it back now, anyway.”
Linda did not seem reassured. “How did it happen, anyway?” she asked. “You said on the phone it was because of the accident?”
Oh, boy. “We were stuck in the car overnight until someone found us,” Frank said. Linda squeezed his hand and he squeezed it back. It had been pretty scary. At the time, he’d wanted his mom. “I was hurt pretty bad, and it was painful, so Ray had to link up so I could stop my senses spiking, and then we were linked up too long.”
“Hmm,” said Linda, and that wasn’t just a ‘hmm’, it was a ‘hmm’ which had other words in it.
“What?” asked Frank testily.
“Well, it’s just...” Linda hesitated, and Frank grew crabbier.
“No,” he said.
“No, what?”
“No, Ray didn’t take advantage of me. He didn’t sustain the link on purpose while I was too out of it to know what was happening.”
“Okay, Frank, I believe you,” she said, and then ruined it by adding, “but how do you know?”
“Because Ray said he didn’t, and I can tell when someone’s lying!” Frank snapped. The G-TAC assholes who had come to the hospital had seemed to have trouble with that concept too. Sure, Ray had been agitated and anxious when they asked him about it, but that was because they were interrogating him. Anyone would have reacted the same way.
“Alright then, that’s good,” said Linda, standing up and taking Frank’s empty glass. “You can’t blame me for being concerned.”
“I don’t,” said Frank, “but if you bother Ray about this or make him feel bad...”
“I won’t!” said Linda. “You should know me better than that, Frankie. I just worry about you.”
Frank relaxed slightly. “I know. I just...” He paused. He couldn’t share things with his mother that he was uncomfortable knowing himself. “He’s been through some stuff,” he said. “And some of the Air Force guys have given him a rough time. You know one of them suggested he orchestrated the accident so he’d be able to bond? He wasn’t even driving!”
“That’s awful,” said Linda, and she softened immediately. Frank felt sort of bad for manipulating her, except... well, it was true.
Frank yawned widely and Linda stood up. “I need to go try to sleep some more, and so do you,” she said. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
***************
Ray’s mother came by mid-morning the next day. Linda had had to go to work and Frank was dozing in the living room with an episode of The Bold and the Beautiful playing softly in the background, so Ray hurried to answer the door before the bell woke him.
He’d sort of expected that she would look angry and disappointed. She didn’t, though, and the second she opened the door her face seemed to crumple.
“Ray,” she said, “it’s good to see you.” She reached for him, and Ray didn’t know how to hold back from her. He went into her arms and wanted never to let go.
“I missed you,” he said, once he was sure he could speak clearly.
“Well,” she said some time later, stepping back and swatting Ray on the chest, “come help me get everything out of the car, then.”
“Ma,” Ray groaned, but she wasn’t listening. The car was loaded. She’d baked cookies, sometime between when Ray had called the night before and now, and she’d packed a stack of photo albums. Too many, Ray thought, to simply be from the years since he’d left home, but he didn’t like to ask. She’d brought his guitar, because she’d asked if he wanted it and he’d hesitated slightly before saying no.
Frank had woken up by the time they got everything inside, although he didn’t look very alert. He was blinking at a commercial for insect repellent and seemed happy to be distracted.
“This is my mom, Georgina,” said Ray, “and this is Second Lieutenant Iero.”
“Frank,” said Frank instantly, reaching for a handshake with his good hand.
“It’s a pleasure,” said Georgina, and Frank’s eyes fell on the photo albums.
“Are those photos?” he asked, the speed of his words increasing rapidly. “Do you have photos of Ray? Baby photos of Ray?”
“No,” said Ray quickly, but Georgina answered at the same time.
“Yes.”
“Cool!” exclaimed Frank, and Ray sighed and consoled himself with the thought that he could probably get Linda to dig out photos of every embarrassing thing Frank had ever done, once she got home. He moved the guitar case over to lean it against the wall, and that was the next thing to catch Frank’s attention.
“You play?”
“Yeah,” said Ray reluctantly.
“Me too!” Frank said excitedly. “I guess I can’t right now, though. Damn.” He scowled down at his cast and Ray felt a little bad for him.
“Would you play something?” Frank asked. Ray stopped feeling sympathetic towards him instantly.
“I don’t know...” he said.
“Go on, Raymond, play something,” said Georgina. Ray couldn’t believe he’d been so happy to see her just minutes before. “We’d all like to hear you play.” She looked over towards Frank. “He’s so good,” she gushed. “Ray was in a band in high school, weren’t you, Ray?”
Ray made a face and opened the guitar case while Frank asked about his band and talked about the bands he’d been in during school and college.
“I used to want to be a rock star,” said Frank, “but with the whole Sentinel thing... the noise doesn’t bother me, but the lights were an issue. I had trouble playing in clubs, and I tried to go on tour after my freshman year of college, but I didn’t realise how bad people could smell after not showering for a week. Of course, boot camp is just as bad but they don’t tell you that ahead of time.”
Ray had to snicker at that. He’d toured after high school. It had been cut short when he’d been drafted, but it had been the best time of his life. He tuned the guitar by ear, rather sloppily. There was a tuner in the case but he didn’t bother to use it. He wasn’t going to play well anyway, might as well have the weak excuse of poor tuning on his side.
He played the first thing he could think of, which turned out to be an Iron Maiden song - no surprise there. He remembered the first part well, with only a few parts sounding off, but then he couldn’t remember how to play the transition to the chorus and ended up playing the first verse again. He stopped and lowered the guitar, frustrated.
"You're pretty good!" Frank said, grinning hugely. Ray sighed and put the guitar back in its case. Pretty good, like a little kid learning to play a G chord for the first time, when they couldn't get all the notes to sound simultaneously, but you told them they were awesome anyway because at least they were the right ones.
The band he’d toured with hadn’t been anything special and they hadn’t gone far, but when he'd played, people had noticed him. They'd looked at him like he knew something, was someone worth listening to. That had never happened again after he'd gone into the Air Force. He'd got used to people treating him like he was a bit dim, like he needed to be told what to do in the simplest terms, like every time he managed to do something right it was a minor miracle, because he was a Guide and Guides weren't good at that sort of thing, things which mattered. But at least he'd always known he was good at something. Now he had to question that too.
After another thirty minutes or so of chatting, Georgina said, “You must come home for dinner tonight, Ray, and see your father and brothers.”
“I can’t,” said Ray instantly, only to be pinned by matching incredulous looks from Frank and Georgina.
“Why on earth not?” Georgina asked.
“Yeah,” said Frank. “Of course you can.”
Ray blinked at them both. “I need to stay here and take care of Frank!” he insisted. “I’m his Guide.”
“Don’t be silly, Ray,” said Georgina. “Of course you can take one night off to see your poor mother who may not be long for this world.”
“Oh, God, please don’t talk about dying,” Ray groaned. He glanced over at Frank who was smirking with suppressed amusement.
“She’s right,” Frank said. “My mom can take care of me tonight. You should go see your family.”
It seemed like everyone’s mind was made up without needing to ask Ray’s permission, anyway. He didn’t really mind. He just hoped his G-TAC liaison never got wind of it. They’d...
Well, actually, they probably wouldn’t do a damn thing. They couldn’t, not now. Not with him bonded to Frank.
And that was how Ray ended up going home with his mother to help her cook tea. He took his guitar with him, partly because he thought there might be a chance to ‘forget’ it up in his bedroom, and partly because he didn’t want to leave it out of his sight. He could see that those two conflicting desires were going to clash sometime in the near future, but he’d worry about it when it happened.
“I made your bedroom into a guest room,” Georgina said as they drove, “but all your things are still in there. You can take whatever you want with you.”
The house had no right to look exactly like it did in his memory, not when Ray had changed so much. It was unfair, like the house itself was rubbing in the fact that he didn’t belong any more.
His father and brothers were pleased to see him, but the conversation was awkward. No one seemed to know what to say to anyone else until the food was ready, and then talking happened without needing any input from Ray. He tried not to feel hurt by it. He could hardly expect that after four years they wouldn’t have got used to him not being around. It was for the best, anyway; after just a few short months, he’d be gone again, and who knew how long it would be before he could come back. If he ever did.
He slipped out of the room after the meal, hoping that no one noticed. He went up to his room - to the guest room, and took out his guitar, cradling it in his arms and strumming the strings quietly. Someone knocked softly on his bedroom door and his mother's voice called, "Can I come in, Ray?"
He didn't really want to see anyone, but it was his mother, so he said, "Sure."
She came through the door and closed it behind her, giving him a piercing look. "Now, sweetie," she said firmly, "do you want to tell me what's been going on?"
Ray looked down, focusing on his hands on the guitar strings. She knew something was wrong. Of course she did. She would have known ever since his phone call a month ago, when he'd nearly ended up crying on the line to her. And she wouldn't let it go; his mom didn't do that. He couldn't tell her the truth. It wasn't just that he didn't want to talk about it. After this week was up, he had to go back to the Air Force, back to dealing with G-TAC and the SRB and every airman who thought Guides were useless. There was no way for him to get out of it, and if his mom had too accurate an idea of what his life was really like, it would just upset her. Ray didn't want her to worry when there was nothing she could do. He'd be fine, anyway. He could deal with it himself, and it would be better if he didn't have to worry about how his family was coping at the same time.
"Raymond?" she asked softly while he sat there. Ray sniffed, and she put a hand on his shoulder. She sat next to him on the bed and put her arms around him. Ray went where he was moved without a fight, because that meant he could put his face against her shoulder, and that was better. Better that she couldn't see him.
They sat like that for a long time.
*******************
It wasn’t long before Frank had had as much lying around and sleeping as he felt like doing. Unfortunately, he was still a long way from being able to get up and move around on his own. He got bored quickly, and a bored Frank, he could readily admit, was difficult to put up with.
He had follow-up appointments with his doctor, to make sure the broken bones were healing right. He seemed happy with Frank’s progress and let him switch from the bulky casts on his legs to more lightweight ones. If Frank’s arm hadn’t been broken as well, the doctor said he’d have been able to get around on crutches or a walking stick, a prospect Frank found unbearably tantalising. As it was, though, he was still confined to a wheelchair which he couldn’t even wheel by himself.
Ray had been taking care of him, and while he was pretty good company, there was something about the solemn way he did it that bothered Frank. Like someone was giving him marks. He went back to his family’s house a few times, but never for longer than half a day.
“You must have friends that you’d like to catch up with,” Frank insisted. He did. He’d called most of them, the ones who were still in Belleville, and some of them had come around to visit. None of them had stayed very long. They were all busy now, with jobs and girlfriends and who knew what else. A couple of them had kids now. Kids. The idea blew Frank’s mind. “Don’t you?” Frank pushed, when Ray didn’t answer.
“Not really,” he said at last, reluctantly like he was hoping Frank would forget what they were talking about and let the subject drop. “I’ve lost touch with most of them.”
Right. Maybe he should have let the matter drop, but on the other hand, Frank knew there was more to it than Ray was letting on.
“There’s that guy you write to sometimes, isn’t there? Mikey or whatever?”
“Oh, yeah,” Ray agreed slowly. “I think he’s pretty busy, though.”
Having had plenty of practice, Frank had learned how to tell when Ray was... not quite lying, but keeping something back that he didn’t think Frank needed to know. He’d never do something as forthright as tell Frank to mind his own damn business, of course. On the other hand, he couldn’t help wondering if he could push Ray to that point. He’d been being careful, Frank understood that now, but the bond was irreversible. He could tell Frank to fuck off without anything awful coming of it. If Frank just gave him enough of a nudge...
“You should call and ask him!” Frank insisted. “You never know.”
“I might,” Ray said, like the words were being dragged out of him.
“If you end up meeting up with them, maybe I could come along,” Frank added. He felt sort of bad about inviting himself along, but he was tired of being cooped up in the house every day. “It would be nice to get out for a bit,” he said without feeling a trace of guilt. It was the simple truth.
“He’s a Guide,” Ray blurted out, looking sort of startled like the words had come out unintentionally. “Mikey’s a Guide. His brother, Gerard, is his Sentinel.”
“Oh.” Frank hadn’t been expecting that, but when he thought about it, it did explain Ray’s evasiveness. Sentinels could be possessive, especially newly bonded Sentinels. And yeah, Frank could admit that the idea of Ray hanging out with another Sentinel wasn’t really filling him with joy. But on the other hand, now he knew what was up he could deal with it. Ray should be able to see his friends. “So we probably shouldn’t just turn up, then?”
That actually got Ray to laugh. “No, probably not.”
*******************
Frank was still reliant on his wheelchair to get around, but Ray was up and walking finally, and took the opportunity to get Frank out of the house. Linda had taken them out a few times, but she was pretty busy and Ray gathered that Frank didn’t relish the idea of tagging along with his mother all day, which he could understand.
They went to the comic book store, which was great. Frank amassed a stack of what seemed like every second comic the store carried, talking excitedly about all the catching up he had to do. Ray grabbed the issues off the shelves as Frank pointed them out and put them on Frank’s lap. They were heading for the register when Frank looked back at him, tilting his head back against the wheelchair to look at Ray upside down which made him feel dizzy.
“Don’t you want anything?”
Ray looked around. It hadn’t occurred to him to look for something for himself. It had been years since he’d read a comic; the titles he’d once followed now looked unfamiliar and he didn’t know where to start. Frank’s question had made him want to get something, though, so he picked up a Batman issue at random and continued towards the checkout. They had a brief but fierce discussion over who was going to pay, but Frank must have realised that paying for himself was important to Ray because he backed off pretty quickly.
Ray had expected Frank to have other plans once they’d been to the comic book store, but instead he glanced over at Ray again and said, “Anything you want to do?”
Ray opened his mouth to say no, but changed his mind before he spoke. “Why don’t I take you to my favourite music store,” he said instead.
It was a pretty awesome store, if Ray said so himself. They had a huge selection of CDs, cassettes and vinyl, and back in high school when Ray had been dropping in frequently enough that he’d known all the staff by name, the owner had made a point of holding anything that came in that he thought Ray would be interested in.
Frank set himself up with a set of headphones and seemed content to sit and listen, so Ray wandered the racks, looking for CDs that caught his eye. He was trying to decide between two when he felt a pull through the bond - and that sensation wasn’t getting any less strange - and realised that Frank was looking for him.
“I have to get this album!” Frank exclaimed, waving the headphones over his head with his one good hand, an earsplitting grin on his face. So they grabbed it and Ray gave the CD to Frank to hold, which made him realise he still hadn’t made up his own mind.
“I don’t know which one to get,” he said when Frank asked him what was bothering him.
“So just get both?” Frank suggested, and Ray could feel himself relax. Of course. He could get both of them, if he wanted to. He was bonded now; he wasn’t going to be shipped around to a new Sentinel and have to conform to whatever luggage restrictions they, or the Air Force, saw fit to impose. He could just leave his stuff with his mother, if he wanted to, but if he wanted to take anything with him he was pretty sure Frank would be cool with that too.
Ray hadn’t expected Eric, the store owner, to recognise him, but he did a slow double take when Ray reached the front off the line, and said “Toro! What the hell happened to your hair?”
Ray gave a startled laugh. “Air Force,” he explained. “This is my Sentinel, Frank.” Introducing Frank like that was sort of a thrill - getting to say ‘my Sentinel’, like Frank was his, and also introducing Frank by his first name, like they were friends, and not just officer and subordinate - which Ray was also pretty sure was true.
They exchanged a few pleasantries and then it was time to go - they’d arranged to meet Mikey and Gerard at a Chinese restaurant for a late lunch. After Ray had explained the situation to Frank and he hadn’t flipped his shit, Ray had begun to feel some tentative anticipation. He was looking forward to seeing them again. He’d talked to a few old friends since coming back to Belleville, but their lives had all gone in a very different direction than his. The Ways would at least understand what it meant to be a Guide.
He wasn’t sure how Frank was handling it. He seemed fine, and he’d taken the revelation that Gerard was a Sentinel pretty well, but there was no guarantee he wouldn’t flip out once he actually got near another Sentinel. It was making Ray feel pretty nervous.
They were already there when Ray and Frank reached the restaurant, sitting in the back and talking quietly. They looked just the same. Mikey’s glasses nearly sliding off the end of his nose, Gerard fidgeting in his seat with his fingers covered in dried paint, both of them looking like they hadn’t washed their hair in a week.
They stood up when Ray and Frank got close, standing shoulder to shoulder with their eyes coming to rest on Frank in a show of unity that Ray thought was meant to appear threatening. He thought they should have saved their energy; Gerard and Mikey were about as threatening as a pair of puppies. Frank, for his part, stopped a few feet from the table, which made it a little awkward to introduce him but Ray managed.
“Hey,” he said. “This is Lieutenant Iero. Uh, Frank. Frank, this is Gerard and Mikey.”
They all nodded at one another and Gerard, who looked unusually solemn, finally cracked a smile. They sat at the table and Ray glanced around for the waiter. Frank picked up a menu and asked, “So what’s good here?”
Gerard and Mikey were having a not-quite-argument about whether Gerard would get noodles as well as rice, so Ray looked over the menu to see if it had changed.
"I usually get the sweet and sour pork," he said. "But they'll do anything with tofu instead of meat, if you ask for it. The vegetable stir fry is actually really good, but it's kind of hot."
Frank nodded and had made up his mind by the time the waiter came to take their orders. There was a moment’s lull once the waiter was gone, during which Gerard looked at Frank thoughtfully and then said, "So, Frank, I take it we have you to thank for Ray suddenly remembering that we exist?"
"Fuck's sake, Gerard," said Ray, turning bright red. "You won't be invited next time." Interfering little shit. He could feel Frank stiffening beside him and reaching to take his hand, as though he thought Ray needed his protection. It was a sweet thought, but still...
“Air Force keeps us pretty busy,” Frank said in a clipped voice. “I don’t remember Ray getting a whole lot of letters from you two, either.”
Jesus Christ. Ray kept still and tried to pretend that he was resting his hand on his knee because it was comfortable and not because Frank was holding on to it. He looked at Mikey as though he could will Gerard out of existence too, and said the first thing which came into his head, which happened to be: “Any good shows coming up this weekend?"
Mikey launched into a spiel about a show he was planning to go to and Ray listened, but was distracted when Gerard said to Frank, "We used to send letters once a month, regular, but for a while Ray didn't reply. A few got sent back to us unopened."
“I didn’t know that,” Ray said, too startled to keep the words in. Reading letters from friends and family was a privilege Major Stephens had only extended if he thought Ray had earned it, and being permitted to write a reply had been rarer still, but it sounded like he’d sent a few of them back without even telling Ray about it. Maybe he’d decided that reading letters from friends was too frivolous for a Guide, or something. It wouldn’t surprise Ray.
He wished he’d kept his mouth shut when Frank and Gerard turned to look at him with pitying expressions. He huddled down in his chair and wished to disappear.
“Are you in the service?” Frank asked, blatantly changing the subject.
“Nah,” said Gerard. “We work for the health department.” He made a face, which made Ray laugh almost as much as the idea of Gerard and Mikey in the military.
“Oh, that sounds... interesting,” said Frank.
“It’s shitty,” said Gerard. “Sniffing out rats. Looking for bacteria. Tasting ancient grease.” Frank made a face.
“It’s not all bad,” said Mikey. “We get excellent service pretty much everywhere.” As if to make his point, a waiter came by with a jug of water and extra napkins.
“I’m nearly finished a degree in social work, and Mikey’s halfway through his,” said Gerard. “We want to see if we can convince the SRB to let us switch fields, but it’s not easy to do that if they can’t see how Sentinel senses are useful. Really, in social work, it’s Mikey who’d have more of an advantage, so of course our liaisons have this gigantic stick up their collective asses about the whole thing.”
“Huh. That sounds pretty frustrating,” said Frank. Ray was impressed that he was taking meeting Gerard so well. A lot of people found him a bit overwhelming, even if they didn’t have a Sentinel’s territorial imperative to worry about.
After the meal, Ray excused himself to use the bathroom and wasn’t too surprised when Mikey followed him a minute or two later. “What’s Frank like, really?” Mikey asked while Ray washed his hands.
“He’s really great,” Ray said.
“Good, because Gerard will kick his ass if he’s a dick to you,” Mikey said. Ray gave him a sceptical look. “Okay, he won’t,” Mikey admitted. “He’ll give him some big sad speech and make Frank feel really shitty about himself.”
“That, I could see,” Ray agreed. “But it’s cool. Frank’s awesome.” It was just as well, too, because they weren’t far enough away to keep Frank from listening to the conversation if he felt like it. That probably hadn’t occurred to Mikey, who’d been bonded to Gerard since he was a kid. Sometimes, in the years since finishing school, Ray had envied him that innocence, but now it made him happy.
“We weren’t sure what he’d be like,” Mikey said. “We were kind of preparing for him to be a jerk, because... well, you never said much in your letters, but we could tell something was wrong. Isn’t it?” he added, when Ray started and turned away, making a show of fixing his clothes in the mirror.
“Everything’s fine,” Ray said. Mikey’s expression remained doubtful and Ray sighed. It was like his mother all over again. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he said, “But things are better now, with Frank, and now that we’re bonded. So you can call Gee off. Oh, God,” he said, suddenly realising. “We’ve left them alone out there. Tell me Gerard wasn’t planning to interrogate Frank about his intentions or anything.”
“Not exactly,” said Mikey with a smirk.
*****************
Frank wasn’t sure if Mikey thought he was being subtle when he slipped out to the bathrooms after Ray. He wasn’t furtive about it, but he wasn’t particularly nonchalant either, walking away with a purposeful, focused expression on his face. He tried not to worry about it and keep his mind on Gerard, who was still sitting across the table, but that only reminded him that possibly the only thing keeping him from being beat up was whatever Mikey reported back. Gerard had no right to be as intimidating as he was; he was short (although taller than Frank) and he dressed kind of like a dork, but somehow, Frank was a little scared to see him pissed off.
“So, what do you think of being bonded so far?” Gerard asked.
“It’s... nice.”
Gerard grinned. “It’s the best, isn’t it?” I mean, me and Mikey sometimes have the most massive arguments, but I wouldn’t change it for anything.”
“Ray said you’ve been bonded since you were both young?” Frank said curiously.
“Since I was seventeen. Mikey was thirteen. I knew I was going to have to register for the draft soon, possibly be sent somewhere else in the country. You can be, even if you’re a conscientious objector. We were both sure we wanted to bond, so we just decided to do it.”
“You both seem really happy.”
“We are. If you ever want to talk about anything, you can always call me.” Gerard glanced at him. “A lot of Sentinels find it rough when they first bond. Your SRB liaison will always give you advice too, of course.” Frank couldn’t hold back his expression of distaste, and Gerard smiled at him. “Good. That was a test.”
“No shit,” Frank grouched.”If you ask me, we should get rid of the lot of them.”
“You’re pretty young to bond, they tend not to like that. You’ll probably have the SRB on your case for quite a while.”
“Oh, yeah. I was sort of expecting that.” Frank looked at Gerard, judging his sincerity, and decided to share a bit more. “We didn’t exactly bond entirely on purpose. It happened after the accident,” he raised his broken arm to illustrate, “because it took them all night to find us, and we were linked up the whole time.”
“Yeah, that would do it,” Gerard agreed, his surprise fading. “With the added stress and everything - especially if you were particularly compatible.”
“The thing is, G-TAC sort of got it into their head that Ray took advantage of the whole thing,” Frank said, lowering his voice. “Because I was pretty out of it. They were pissed. They let us come home, but I keep worrying about what they’ll try to do once I’m better.”
“They can’t really do anything, aside from make a nuisance of themselves, which they’d do anyway,” said Gerard. “They can’t break the bond, and the law says you’ve got pretty much complete power over any Guide you’re bonded to. They’ll probably make you jump through a bunch of hoops, but they can’t do anything to Ray. Not without your say-so, and you won’t, will you?” He glared at Frank, suddenly fierce.
“Of course not!” Frank said, startled.
“Well then, you’ll be fine,” Gerard said, settling back in his seat, calm once more. “G-TAC likes to think they’re the authority on how Sentinels and Guides are supposed to be. Any decent Sentinel knows better than to pay attention to them.”
“There’s plenty of indecent Sentinels out there, then,” said Frank, thinking of two in particular.
“Yeah. There’s lots who like the power rush,” said Gerard. “And G-TAC won’t do anything about them... shit, they basically tell Sentinels they can do anything to their Guides and that the Guides probably had it coming anyway. I’ve written letters to everyone I could think of, but no one really wants to hear it. I think if G-TAC admits that their whole system is just so much bullshit, people will realise how irrelevant they actually are, so they’ll never let it happen.”
“That’s stupid. People can’t just not noticed how fucked up it all is, can they?”
“Well, most people aren’t Sentinels or Guides. G-TAC keeps the Guides pretty quiet, and Sentinels get a reasonably sweet deal out of the whole situation - or at least, they think they do. Maybe if more normal people, parents with little baby Guides and shit, had a better idea of how things were, it might make a difference. Most newspapers won’t publish letters about it, though, more’s the pity.”
“Huh. Well, if you’re ever looking for a letter writing buddy...”
Gerard grinned broadly. “I knew I liked you!”
*****************
When they reached the house in Linda’s venerable Nissan Pulsar, Ray could tell that Frank was worn out. He’d been very quiet on the drive home, nearly dozing off several times only to startle awake at every red light. Ray carried Frank inside, not wanting to bother wrestling the wheelchair up the steps.
“Carrying me over the threshold, Ray?” Frank said into his neck. Ray snorted.
“Where do you want to go, back to the living room?” he asked.
“I guess,” Frank answered with a sigh.
“Or do you want me to take you up to your room?”
“My room? What on earth would we do up there?” Frank asked, although his playful tone suggested he had an idea or two.
“We’ll just have to think of something,” Ray answered with a grin.
The room was a familiar sight to Ray now, although it had never felt quite right to sleep in Frank’s bed while Frank slept on the couch in his own house. Having Frank in the room with him added a new level of appeal. He put Frank carefully on the bed, but Frank kept his arms wrapped around Ray’s neck. Ray laughed and slid his hands under Frank’s shirt.
“You’re going to have to let go, this will get uncomfortable fast,” said Ray.
“Meh,” Frank said, but he released his grip and let Ray pull his shirt off. “You too,” he demanded, hands instantly going to Ray’s shirt.
Ray took his shirt off and when he looked Frank had his sweatpants half off, awkwardly trying to pull them the rest of the way with his one good hand. It was pretty amusing to watch, but he relented fairly quickly and helped Frank out. He hesitated for a moment over whether to take his pants off, but he was wearing jeans, and as comfortable as they could be, jeans were never good sleepwear. He took them off and nudged Frank over so there was room for him in the bed too.
It was still only a single bed, however, and they were pressed close together. Having Frank so close was having a definite effect on Ray, and when he glanced at Frank’s face he saw that the other man had noticed. Frank put a hand on his hip and rolled onto his side to face Ray squarely, but he grimaced after a moment as the position put pressure on his still healing ribs, and rolled back.
“Still sore?” Ray asked. Frank nodded but nudged Ray’s hip, trying to pull him closer. He slipped two fingertips under the waistband of Ray’s boxers and glanced up at him, eyebrows lifting slightly.
Ray held his breath for a second and then let it rush out, saying, “Okay. Fuck, yes.” He pulled the boxers down, hesitating slightly to pull the elastic over his cock, but Frank reached in and got his hand around Ray, who went from mostly to completely hard in an instant.
“Ohhh,” Ray moaned, his hips thrusting forward. He tried to gather his wits and slid Frank’s boxers down. Frank wriggled his way out of them without a hint of modesty, his dick springing free and bobbing around as he moved. It made Ray snicker a bit, and he reached for it, but Frank got there first, lining Ray’s cock up with his own and wrapping his good hand around them both. Ray gasped at the contact and pressed his face against Frank’s shoulder to hide the noise. It felt amazing, intoxicating and right in a way he hadn’t expected this to ever be again.
Ray sucked at Frank’s neck, rolling over almost on top of him but taking care not to put too much weight on him. Frank got a good rhythm going, spreading precome down Ray’s shaft as he moved his hand, and Ray bucked into his grip. His own hands were free, Ray realised, and that gave him a wealth of choices. He slid one hand up Frank’s chest, pinching at his nipple gently. Frank groaned and pressed into the touch. With his other hand Ray reached down and cupped Frank’s balls, rolling them teasingly between two fingers. Frank spread his legs, although with his boxers around his thighs he couldn’t move too much. Ray moved his hand to get a firmer grip and a fingertip brushed against Frank’s entrance.
He drew his hand away slightly; he hadn’t meant to do that, but Frank didn’t seem bothered - in fact he shuddered and whispered, “Yes, yes. Fuck, do it.” So Ray brought his hand up and stuck two fingers in Frank’s mouth.
Frank sucked on them eagerly, lifting his head to stare into Ray’s eyes. His own eyes were huge, his cheeks flushed. He wrapped his lips around Ray’s fingers and pulled them further into his mouth as though he was sucking on something else, and Ray nearly came then and there. Knowing that they weren’t going to last much longer, he pulled his hand out and found Frank’s hole once more. Frank’s rhythm grew faster but more irregular as Ray pressed one finger inside, and Ray put his free hand over Frank’s. He added a second finger and Frank bucked underneath him, keening quietly and tossing his head. Ray thrust with his fingers in time with his hand on their cocks, and it only took a second or two for Frank to grunt and shudder his climax.
With the slickness of Frank’s come all over his hand, Ray tightened his grip and came with one more stroke. Frank was half asleep already, eyes drooping closed, and Ray dropped a kiss just over his eyebrow before making himself get up to fetch a washcloth.
“Ray?” Frank murmured once they were both cleaned up.
“Mm?”
“That was good. We should just have heaps of sex, all the time.”
Ray couldn’t hold back a giggle, partly because he felt really happy and partly because Frank, almost asleep and very out of it, was unbelievably adorable. Ray kissed him again, because he just couldn’t think of a reason not to.
“I could get on board with that plan,” Ray said. He listened for Frank’s answer, but he was already asleep. Ray shifted his arms to hold Frank more comfortably, and let himself drift away into a contented, dreamless sleep.
***************
Frank placed his duffle bag at the foot of the stairs. “I’ve got everything,” he announced.
“Are you sure?” Ray asked. “Toothpaste? Extra socks?”
Frank groaned. “Seriously? Mom already checked, I’ve got extra everything.” He was trying not to be too annoyed, though. He was pretty sure Ray was only worrying so much because he thought Frank would blame him if anything was left behind, or some G-TAC asshole would accuse him of doing a bad job.
“Okay, I believe you,” said Ray. “Did you grab my hat while you were up there?”
“Shit! No, I forgot,” Frank said. He started climbing back up the stairs, grumbling under his breath. “Elevators. Houses should all have elevators, life would be so much better.”
“You weren’t saying that a month ago,” Ray called after him, amusement clear in his voice. “You were looking for any excuse to go up and down the stairs.”
“Yeah, well, the novelty wears off pretty quick.”
Frank took a last look around the bedroom for anything else that had been left behind. He grabbed a notepad from the dresser; it wouldn’t hurt to have extra paper so he could keep writing to Gerard. They’d made a little bit of progress writing to a local senator about the difficulties Guides faced when trying to report mistreatment. Not to the point of anything actually being done about it, but the guy seemed to be listening, which was something. Frank thought it was pretty sad that it represented the best response they’d had yet, but he refused to be discouraged.
Frank knew it would make a big difference for a lot of Guides if some changes could be made, but it would be dishonest of him not to admit that he’d been thinking of one Sentinel in particular when he suggested they focus on the procedures for reporting abuse. With the system the way it was, there was nothing that could be done about Ray’s previous Sentinels, and Frank knew that Ray worried about it. Frank had promised, several weeks ago, that if he ever met either of them blood would be spilled, and Ray hadn’t taken it well.
“You’d be court martialled, and how do you suppose that would turn out for us?” he’d demanded. Frank had argued, but Ray hadn’t backed down, which had made Frank realise how strongly he felt about it. He’d taken back his words then, but he still wasn’t sure what he’d do if he did come face to face with the Sentinels who’d hurt Ray. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to stay calm, wasn’t sure he’d want to. It was unlikely to ever happen, though, so he tried not to worry about it.
Ray was loading their bags into the car when Frank got downstairs with his cap and notepad and a few other odds and ends. “I hope you’re ready for your boldface and operating limits test,” Ray fretted as Frank squeezed the extra items into his bag.
“I should be, I’ve studied enough,” Frank answered. One perk of being out of commission for three months - he had a bit of an advantage over his classmates when it came to preparation.
Rather than answering, Ray said, “I think we’re ready to go. Where’s Linda?”
“She’s coming,” Frank said, leaning against the car. “There’s plenty of time, our flight doesn’t leave for nearly three hours. But, listen,” he added, taking the chance to be a bit more serious for once. “Now we’re bonded, I can pretty much insist that you get more training while I’m doing training, right?”
“Pretty much, I guess,” Ray agreed. “G-TAC might baulk a little bit, but they couldn’t make it too difficult - it would make them look pretty stupid.”
“That’s what I thought,” Frank agreed. “Assuming I can pass Initial Flight Screening, I’ve got another year of training ahead. You could do... I dunno, whatever. There’s heaps of mechanic training options.”
Ray nodded thoughtfully. “You know, once you’re finished training as a pilot, it’s nearly certain they’ll deploy you overseas,” he said.
“Yeah,” said Frank. The prospect made him pretty nervous, even as far off in the future as it was. “You’ll be with me, though,” he said, and that really did make him feel calmer about the whole thing. “We can look out for each other.”
Ray smiled at him. He often did, now, he seemed much happier, but Frank never got tired of seeing him smile. “Always.”