Four times Jared and Jensen didn't have sex, and one they did, Part 2
Part 1
3
Things got better. More time passed and Jared got better at sailing, good enough that he usually knew what needed doing before he was told. He could carry on a conversation without mumbling and stammering like an idiot. If it was someone he knew, anyway. He still let the others do all the talking when they went ashore in strange towns. He thought of the rest of the crew as his friends, and he thought they felt the same way about him.
Ever since the day, six months ago, when he’d first really looked at Jensen and seen him, properly, he hadn’t been able to not notice him anymore. He saw Jensen when they had the early watches and the sunrise threw him into silhouette as he stood at the helm. When they sailed in bad weather and Jensen would climb up the rigging while the ship tossed in the waves, a huge grin splitting his face even as he struggled to keep his grip and not be thrown into the ocean. When Jensen joined the rest of them for meals, Jared found that he tended to only half eat whatever was on his plate, because he spent so much time looking at Jensen while trying to make it seem as though he wasn’t. It seemed as though everyone had noticed anyway; Jared could tell by the way they smirked at him. It was a little bit embarrassing, but he tried to pretend everything was fine. It worked for a while.
One day, in the time between when they had finished lunch and when they had to go back on watch, Jensen was explaining to Jared some defensive strategy he had for the ship. It was all scribbled on scraps of paper and didn’t make much sense to Jared, but Jensen was taking it really seriously so he nodded and tried to understand. In the middle of listing different types of cannons and their strengths and weaknesses, Jensen looks around at Jared mid-sentence, and notices Jared’s eyes on him. He kind of twitched and looked away, his cheeks turning just a little pink.
Oh, Jared thought. Okay.
It had been months and Jared had sort of accepted that Jensen wasn’t interested in him like that. It was the most logical explanation; Jensen had to know that Jared was his, if he wanted him. Jensen could have him any time he wanted, so if he didn’t act on Jared’s availability, it had to be because he didn’t want to. But after that moment, Jared started to notice things. Jensen spent a lot more time teaching Jared things than he did with Alex. Which made sense, because Alex was on Chris’s watch. But even Chris didn’t spend much time with Alex, mostly letting the less senior sailors teach him what he needed to know.
Jensen spoke to Jared a bit differently than he did to everyone else. Well, everyone did that, up to a point, and it was probably because they thought he was fragile and might break down and cry all over their shirts if they were mean, like he’d done to Jensen that one time. But, actually, that wasn’t so true anymore, and just the other day Chris had yelled at him for taking the last bacon rasher. (Jared had mumbled something snide under his breath and Chris had given him some weird salute for ‘almost having the balls to tell me off’. It had been kind of sweet.)
So, if Jensen was always making the effort to say nice things to Jared, and teach him stuff, and check that he was okay, maybe it was for some other reason than Jensen just being a nice guy. Not that he wasn’t a nice guy, also, but he didn’t really do those things for anyone else. And he didn’t look at anyone else the way Jared sometimes noticed Jensen looking at him.
Jared thought back to the time he’d kissed Jensen. He’d thought about it quite a lot, wondered what it would be like to kiss Jensen and have him kiss back. He wondered if Jensen would kiss him like that now. It wasn’t going to happen though, because Jared had learned his lesson and wasn’t going to go through that again. He decided not to do anything about it.
It wasn’t quite that simple, though, because Jensen still looked at Jared, and Jared still thought about Jensen a lot. Jared found himself doing things, mostly unintentionally, to get Jensen’s attention. Little things, like standing closer than he needed to when they were talking. Or sitting next to Jensen in the mess, even if there was more room somewhere else. Or seeing something, just something silly, something small, in the marketplace of a little town they spent the night in, and buying it just because it made him think of Jensen.
It was a deck of cards with a ship on the back, a famous ship that Jensen told stories about a lot. When he found Jensen in the common room of the inn they were staying in, he handed the cards over without explaining, knowing that Jensen would understand. Jensen flicked through the cards and grinned. “What’s the occasion?” Jensen asked.
Jared shrugged. “Just felt like it,” he said. He wasn’t meaning to, but Jensen was looking at him again, only this time he wasn’t even trying to pretend he wasn’t, and that made Jared feel suddenly brave. He leaned in and brushed his mouth lightly against Jensen’s. It was barely even a kiss. Jared sat back afterwards, feeling sort of stunned and giddy at his own daring. Jensen was still looking at him, looking a little stunned as well.
“Um...” Jensen began. “You’re not freaking out on me again, are you?”
“No?” said Jared. He didn’t think he was.
“Oh. That’s good, because, you know, we talked about that.”
“Oh. Right. No, I just. Um. I just sort of... wanted to? Sorry.” Jared got up to leave, but Jensen grabbed his wrist before he could go too far.
“Don’t, I mean. I didn’t mind,” said Jensen, smiling a bit. “I just, um, I can’t always tell what you’re thinking.”
“Oh.” Jared sat back down. “Me, too. I mean, it’s hard for me to tell what you’re thinking, too.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, like,” Jared gathered up his nerve and plunged on, “Like, sometimes I think it seems like you want me to kiss you? But then I’m not sure. So. I dunno. Do you?”
“Uh...”
Jensen looked slightly panicky, so Jared kept talking. “Because I do. Want to kiss you. But I don’t want you to feel like you have to kiss me, like if you don’t want to hurt my feelings or something. That would suck.”
“Yeah, um. Yeah. That would totally suck. God, Jared.” Jensen’s voice sounded a bit strangled, and then he coughed and said, more clearly. “Luckily, I absolutely would like to kiss you. A lot. Really.”
“Really?” Jared looked around the mostly but not completely empty common room. “Like, here?”
“Um. Where did you have in mind?”
“I dunno. Somewhere with less people?” Jared thought it was probably pretty silly to be embarrassed by just kissing someone in a mostly empty room, but he didn’t like the idea of people watching.
“We could go up to my room. If that’s okay with you?”
“I guess.” Jared paused as a new thought occurred to him. “Just to kiss though, right? Not... I mean...” Jared trailed off, not quite sure how Jensen would react if he said he wasn’t willing to do more than kiss.
“That’s fine. Jared, listen.” Jensen sounded serious, so Jared listened closely. “You tell me you want to stop, or there’s something you don’t want to do, that’s it. We’ll stop, or we won’t do whatever it is. I promise. Okay?”
“Yeah.” Jared felt himself smile, really smile. “Yeah, that sounds good.”
*****************
4
They spent a lot of time kissing, after that. At random moments. It didn’t seem like a big deal. Jensen would give Jared a peck on the lips at the start of their watch, before they went their separate ways to work. Or when they were sitting down to eat, Jensen sometimes wrapped an arm around Jared’s shoulder, or his waist, and kissed his cheek or his jaw. Jared always blushed bright red, because there was no privacy on the ship and everyone could see. It was okay, though. The crew would tease them sometimes but they never went too far, and if Jared started to feel too embarrassed Jensen would usually realise and get everyone to back off. It was fine.
After a month or so, it stopped bothering Jared so much. Sometimes, if there weren’t lots of people around and no-one was looking, he would kiss Jensen instead of waiting for Jensen to kiss him. Sometimes they spent a lot of time kissing, until Jensen stopped them and complained that he wouldn’t be able to concentrate when it was his watch. Jared wasn’t sure why he complained. Jensen had an entire cabin to himself. Jared just had the hold. There was no privacy in there to take care of things, even though, for the first time Jared could remember, he really wanted to.
Jared got his revenge, though, kissing Jensen till he was breathless, across his cheek and down his jaw where he left a line of little hickeys, high up where Jensen’s collar wouldn’t hide them. Chris gave him shit about it for days.
There was a day where, between watches, Jared and Jensen hid in Jensen’s cabin and spent more than an hour just kissing. Jared got really into it, cupping Jensen’s face in his hands and feeling Jensen run his fingers through Jared’s hair, tugging just a little bit. It was awesome. Jared slipped one hand under the hem of Jensen’s shirt, let his hand sit on Jensen’s waist and felt the smooth skin there. He ran his hand up Jensen’s side and Jensen gasped into his mouth, pushing his hips forward a little bit. Yes, Jared thought. He shifted one leg forward, slipping his thigh between Jensen’s. Jensen moaned and pushed even closer, and that was it, he was right there and Jared could feel Jensen’s cock against his own, through their trousers. Should do something about that, he thought, before Jensen sprang away.
“Sorry, God, Jared, I’m so, so sorry...” Jensen was babbling and apologising and Jared didn’t understand why for a second. What happened, he wondered, can’t we go back to a couple of minutes ago?
Jensen was looking at him with this panicked expression, saying, “I’m really sorry, Jared, are you okay? I didn’t...” That’s when Jared remembered, oh yeah, he was damaged, broken, and Jensen was worried he’d upset him. He’d started off remembering, every day, where he came from and how Jensen had found him. Now he only remembered when something reminded him. Like now. Moments like this sucked.
“Jared, are you alright? Just say something, okay?”
“Oh, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”
“I didn’t mean to freak you out.”
Jared nodded, even though he wasn’t the one who was freaked out, Jensen was. “I should go,” he said, even though his watch didn’t start for another two hours.
Things got really awkward after that. Jensen was doing that thing he’d done before, where he watched Jared and tried to pretend he wasn’t. It was really obvious now, though, because Jared knew what to look for. They didn’t get much time together, but it wasn’t until Chris complained at mess about Jensen taking all his meals in his cabin that Jared realised Jensen was actually avoiding him. That made him feel worse. Maybe Jensen was actually disgusted by what they’d nearly done, by the idea of having sex with someone who’d done all the things Jared had. Jared didn’t think Jensen would think that, but what did he really know anyway? Not enough to make Jensen stop avoiding him, obviously.
A week later Jim cooked a special meal because it was Jared’s birthday. He did it for everyone on the ship, when it was their birthday, but Jared thought Jim had done a little bit more for his. There was roasted meat, actual fresh meat and not the dried stuff they usually ate. There were vegetables and fresh bread, with actual butter, and there was enough for everyone to have seconds, if they didn’t take too much, and that never happened. There was even a cake, not very big but they cut it into small slices and shared it out, and it was great.
Jensen came to the mess for that meal. He couldn’t avoid it, Jared knew, because everyone had already noticed how things were between them, and they were gossiping about it, speculating about whether they’d had a fight and what it was about. It was probably nothing compared to what they’d all start saying if Jensen skipped Jared’s birthday dinner.
After, when they were on watch, Jared was working up near the stern and saw Jensen heading his way. He thought at first Jensen was seeking him out and they might finally get to clear the air. Jensen obviously didn’t know he was there, though, because the moment he noticed Jared he stopped dead and turned around. Jared got kind of mad. He wasn’t sure what Jensen’s problem was, but he didn’t think he’d done anything to deserve this, and if he had, the least Jensen could do would be to tell him what it was.
“Hey!” he called. “Hey, Jensen!”
At first Jensen seemed like he was going to pretend he didn’t hear. Jared left his work unfinished and stalked in Jensen’s direction. Jensen looked around with a bit of a grimace, like he was steeling himself for something.
“What is up with you?” Jared asked, getting straight to the point.
“What do you mean?” Jensen asked, rather weakly. It was such a weak attempt at deflection that Jared just looked at him until he crumbled. “It’s nothing,” he said. “It’s nothing. I just... I just feel sort of bad. For making you uncomfortable. I didn’t... anyway, you shouldn’t have to be around me if you don’t want to be.”
“If I don’t want to be?” Jared asked. “I thought you’d let me make up my own mind what I wanted. You’re avoiding me. You’ve just decided, what, I shouldn’t be around you now?”
“Oh!” Jensen looked startled. “I didn’t think... I mean, I just figured you wouldn’t... after...”
“And that’s another thing,” said Jared, getting really warmed up to the topic. “You don’t want to, like, make out any more or something? You could have let me know.”
“I just thought, like, maybe it was going a little too far. I wanted to make sure you were okay with it, that you didn’t feel pressured...”
“I was fine with it!” said Jared furiously. “It was great! It only bothered me when you started acting like I was going to freak out on you. If I had a problem with something you did, I’d tell you.”
Jensen looked taken aback at first, and then like he was gathering the nerve to say something. “Would you really, Jared?” he asked. “Because, I mean, in the past it seems like you’ve done what you thought I wanted, whether or not it was what you wanted.”
“I... yeah, I know.” Jared thought about Jensen’s question seriously. “You could have just asked me what I wanted, you know. Because, you just started avoiding me and didn’t tell me what was up... that was the first time in a while that I felt like, like I needed to worry about making you happy. Doing whatever you wanted. I... next time, just ask me.”
“Okay,” said Jensen. “Yeah. Right. I was kind of an asshole, huh?”
Jared gave a small smile. “A little bit, yeah.”
“I missed kissing you.”
“So did I.”
Jensen twisted his mouth and looked away for a second. “I think... I mean, it would be good, if you wanted to, we could do more. Do other stuff. Just, only what you want. Nothing else.”
“Yeah,” said Jared. “Yeah. I think we should do that.”
“Right,” said Jensen. He bounced on his toes a little bit.
“But we’re still on watch.”
“Oh. Yeah. So. Not right now, then.”
“I guess not. But after...”
“Oh, yeah. After. That would be... yeah.”
“I’ll see you. At your cabin?”
Jensen smiled, wide and excited. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll see you there.”
As it turned out, though, they didn’t get up to anything in Jensen’s cabin. Jared went back to his work, thinking that it would be difficult to concentrate for the rest of the watch. The sun was setting, but it was quite cloudy and dark, even though it was still technically daylight. The wind had been blowing hard all day, but it grew brisker as the evening went on, and spatters of rain began to fall. Jensen began to look worried. “It’s going to storm,” he said. “Gonna be a bad one. Get everything tied down.”
There was plenty of work to keep them busy for the rest of the watch, taking in sail and making sure everything on deck was tied down. The rain was coming down heavily within an hour, but Jared was down in the bilge by then, working the pumps with Chad to get rid of excess water in case the ship was damaged. At the end of the watch, Jensen sent them both off to rest but stayed on deck himself to keep an eye on things.
Jared didn’t sleep much. The ship was pitching sharply in the waves, and whenever he began to doze he was jolted awake. It wasn’t long before the bell began to ring and he heard Chris calling for all hands. Up on deck, it was clear the storm had worsened a lot. Jensen was at the helm, with David, Steve and Mike, all wrestling the wheel. Other deckhands were rushing around on deck, making sure the sails were all secure. If one was tugged loose by the wind, it could be disastrous. Jared wound up working the pumps again, with Tom and Alex as well as Chad this time. They were down there for a long time, with the storm not appearing to let up at all. Eventually, Misha and Richard came down to relieve them, and they took a turn up on deck. It wasn’t like a rest, really, because they were still working frantically, but they were using different muscles, which was at least something.
The storm lasted for sixteen hours. At some point, a hole developed in the ship’s hull, and the cargo hold began taking on water. They realised fairly quickly, luckily because they couldn’t afford to lose too much of their cargo. They set up more pumps and worked them twice as hard, but it didn’t help much. Jensen got them shifting the cargo to every dry part of the ship it would fit, filling up the mess and his cabin with barrels and chests. Around noon the next day, the weather began to ease up. The extra deck hands were dismissed to get some rest, but Jared had to stay out and finish his watch. At four in the afternoon, he managed to eat some hardtack and stumble down into the hold to collapse into his hammock. He could see Jensen not far away, sleeping in the hold with the crew because his cabin was full of junk.
Jared could have slept for a day, but had to force himself awake after four hours to get back on deck. Everyone seemed equally tired. There had been some minor damage to the fore-mast and some of the sails, but the biggest issue was the hole in the hull. They’d patched it as best they could, and set a course for a town where it could be fixed properly. In the meantime, watches were a bit busier than usual as they had to keep working the extra pumps and stitch sailcloth on top of everything else.
It wasn’t until the next day when Jared fell into his hammock after a watch that he remembered what he and Jensen had been planning before everything happened. He looked over to the hammock Jensen was using temporarily, and could see Jensen looking back at him. Jared thought Jensen would probably be happy to take Jared to a dark corner of the hold and do it right there. He wouldn’t, though, because he had to know Jared wouldn’t be okay with that, and Jared knew Jensen wouldn’t ask him to do something that he didn’t want to. Still, Jared felt pretty frustrated to think of Jensen’s cabin all full of junk when they could have been using it to have sex right then.
“We’ll reach port tomorrow,” said Jensen at the start of their next watch. “I’ll get us a hotel room, while the ship’s being fixed.”
“Awesome,” said Jared.
The town wasn’t all that big, and there was only one place letting rooms. Jared took care of those arrangements while Jensen saw about getting the materials to fix the ship. They spent what was left of the day working on the repairs, and then headed back to the tavern to eat. After that, they spent some time with the rest of the crew, drinking and talking and relaxing. They didn’t get much of a chance to do that, all together, while they’re at sea. Eventually, around midnight, the bartender looked like he wants to shoo everyone out, and Jared and Jensen headed up to their room. Jared pounced on Jensen the moment the door was closed, ignoring his surprised grunt. They kissed urgently, and Jared stealthily untucked Jensen’s shirt, mumbling to him between kisses, “I’m fine, not freaking out, this is fine...”
“Okay, I fucking get it already,” Jensen growled after a minute of that.
“Just making sure. So, you gonna take that shirt off or what?”
Of course, it was at this exact moment that someone knocked on the door. Jensen gave a frustrated groan and flung it open. “Whatever you want, it had better be a matter of life and death,” he snarled to the people on the other side, who turned out to be Chris and Steve.
“Hey, Jensen, guess what,” said Chris cheerily.
“What?” Jensen asked.
Steve gave Chris a cutting glare. “Don’t be a jerk,” he said. His expression, when he looked at Jensen, was at least slightly apologetic. “They stuffed up with the rooms,” he explained. “Some other bunch of guys booked ahead, or something, and there’s not enough space. We’re doubling up everywhere, but, well. Can we share with you?”
Jensen looked like he wanted to say no, but Jared spoke up first. Chris and Steve were his friends too, after all, and he wasn’t going to make them sleep in the hall. “Of course you can,” he said. He could hear a dull thud as Jensen let his head land against the wall, and shrugged at him. Jensen shrugged back and rolled his eyes.
“Fine,” said Jensen. “Come in and get some sleep. We’ve got a ship to fix.”
***************
5
Fixing the Gazelle took five days. It was a nice change of pace, being able to sleep for more than four hours at a time and eat good food as often as they wanted. Still, by the time they left the port, Jared found he was quite happy to be back on the water. And not just for the obvious reasons. The constant motion of the ship in the waves was pleasant, and the ship had become the one place where Jared always knew exactly what he should be doing.
Jared and Jensen finished their watch at midnight. Jensen had been looking Jared’s way with an increasingly heated gaze ever since about three bells, so Jared needed no prompting to meet Jensen at his newly emptied cabin. They went inside and Jensen closed the door, leaned against it for a minute and apparently listened to the sounds of the port watch working outside.
“Alone at last?” Jared asked, a bit uncertainly.
Jensen laughed a little and slumped back against the door. “Fuck,” he said. “Can you believe this last week?”
Jared laughed too. “Not really,” he said. “It’s been kinda ridiculous.”
“Yeah.” Jensen smiled at him, soft and open, and stood up. He walked a step closer to Jared and held his hands. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot,” he said softly.
Jared swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. “Me too,” he said.
“What do you want to do?”
Jared really wanted to get naked, but feeling slightly nervous, he said instead, “Kiss me.”
Jensen fitted their mouths together and kissed Jared slowly. Jared could feel himself relaxing, his nerves easing with the familiarity of Jensen’s lips and tongue and his hands on Jared’s shoulders, his neck and his face. Jensen dropped his hands then, untucking Jared’s shirt.
“Is this okay?” he asked. Jared nodded.
“You, too,” he said, pulling at Jensen’s shirt. Jensen pulled Jared’s shirt over his head and then removed his own. He leaned in to kiss Jared again, and Jared gasped, feeling the press of Jensen’s chest against his own, the weight and warmth of him. Jensen slid his hands from Jared’s waist around his back. Jared tensed up a little bit, because he knew the scars were there, and Jensen knew the scars were there, but it was different having Jensen just go and touch them like that. Jensen didn’t say anything though, and it wasn’t long before Jared got his mind back on kissing. He put his own hands on Jensen’s hips and tugged him closer, and the press of Jensen groin against his sent a jolt of pleasure through him, so strong he clutched at Jensen to keep standing upright.
“Okay?” Jensen asked, and Jared had to concentrate really hard on the word before he could figure out what it meant.
“Bunk,” he said. “Bunk. We should lie down.”
Jensen shuddered and nodded, and they sort of shuffled towards the bunk, awkwardly because they weren’t willing to let any space come between them. Luckily it wasn’t far. Jared laid back on the bunk and Jensen climbed up to straddle his legs. It pulled the cloth of Jensen’s pants, and Jared could see the outline of his cock, felt his own grow harder at the sight. He reached out for the waistband of Jensen’s pants, trying to get them undone. Jensen was trying to kiss him at the same time, giving a frustrated groan at Jared’s distraction, until he figured out what Jared was trying to do and helped. He kicked the pants off at last, and Jared finally got a good look at him. He hadn’t seen Jensen naked before. He’d seen more of the rest of the crew than he had any desire to, but Jensen had his own cabin and took advantage of the extra privacy.
Something of Jared’s thoughts must have shown on his face, because Jensen slowed down, moved over Jared gently and sensuously, like he was showing off. Jared could see a faint blush on his cheeks, but he still let Jared look his fill, and Jared took advantage of that. It was a nice view. He let his hand run over Jensen’s hips and across his ass, enjoying the way Jensen twitched and thrust his hips forward. Jared had sort of been trying not to look at Jensen’s cock too much, which was kind of stupid when he thought about what they were doing, and he couldn’t really help but look at it. He’d never really had much interest in dicks before, but Jensen’s was pretty nice, he supposed. He reached out and ran his thumb down the side, enjoying the way Jensen shuddered and actually whined. He ran his hand back up to the tip, let his fingertips rub over the head. Jensen jerked his hips again, trying to push his cock into Jared’s hand, so Jared let his fingers close around it and stroked slowly.
“Oh, yeah, Jared, yeah,” Jensen moaned. Jared grinned a little bit. He knew how to do this; he was going to drive Jensen out of his mind. He gripped Jensen tighter and single-mindedly went to work, enjoying the way Jensen clutched his shoulders and leaned his head against Jared’s neck, the way he just let Jared do as he pleased, the trust he showed by doing that. By the sound of Jensen’s ragged breaths, and the way he shook under Jared’s hands, Jared thought he was close, and he sped up his strokes, cupping Jensen’s face with his other hand. Jensen gave a cry as he came, cutting it off halfway through, and slumped down to lay half on top of Jared, his body becoming limp and boneless. Jared let Jensen lie against him, liking the way he felt, the weight and pressure and the way he was just there. Jensen stayed like that for a few minutes, and Jared thought maybe he’d gone to sleep. But soon, Jensen was moving and looking up, his eyes meeting Jared’s and the corners of his mouth turning up.
“Hey,” he said in a low voice.
“Hey?” Jared replied, a little unsure. Jensen kissed him gently on his lips, his jaw, then the base of his throat. Jared hummed happily. He enjoyed the attention without realising Jensen’s intentions until the other man was kissing his stomach, just below his belly button. “Jensen,” Jared gasped, when he began to undo Jared’s pants.
“This okay?” Jensen asked, and it took a moment before Jared recovered the wits to nod, struck as he was by the idea of Jensen touching his cock. Then it was happening, Jensen had Jared out of his pants and in his hands. Jared wasn’t quite prepared for the intensity of it, and he stuck his wrist in his mouth because he wasn’t sure he could keep from shouting. It wasn’t as though the entire crew wasn’t going to realise what they were doing, but they didn’t need to hear. Jensen smirked at Jared like he knew what he was thinking, and then he lowered his head and let his tongue glide across the head of Jared’s cock.
If Jensen’s hands had been intense, his mouth was unbelievable. Jared threw his head back and moaned around his arm, no trace of any more coherent thought than yes oh yes oh yes in his mind. If he’d still been aware of concepts like time and minutes and seconds, he might have been embarrassed by how quickly Jensen was able to bring him to the edge, but he was busy trying to muster the words to warn Jensen he was going to come.
“Gonna - gonna-“ he managed, and Jensen replied,
“Mmmm.” Jared closed his eyes and bit down on his wrist as he came. He was dimly aware of Jensen slowly pulling off his softening cock and moving on the bunk, coming up to lie beside him.
“Are you... was that... okay?” Jensen asked. Jared didn’t usually think of Jensen as being unsure, Jensen was the one who always knew what to do, but there was a trace of it in his voice now.
“That was awesome,” said Jared. “That was amazing. We can do that again, right?”
Jensen laughed into his ear. “Sure,” he said. “Do you mind if we sleep a little first?”
“Sleep is good,” answered Jared. “But later, we’ll. More of that. You’re going to need your rest.”
“I think you might be right,” said Jensen, pulling Jared closer and wrapping his arms around him. Jared in turn put his arms around Jensen. He wasn’t sure which of them fell asleep first.
3
Things got better. More time passed and Jared got better at sailing, good enough that he usually knew what needed doing before he was told. He could carry on a conversation without mumbling and stammering like an idiot. If it was someone he knew, anyway. He still let the others do all the talking when they went ashore in strange towns. He thought of the rest of the crew as his friends, and he thought they felt the same way about him.
Ever since the day, six months ago, when he’d first really looked at Jensen and seen him, properly, he hadn’t been able to not notice him anymore. He saw Jensen when they had the early watches and the sunrise threw him into silhouette as he stood at the helm. When they sailed in bad weather and Jensen would climb up the rigging while the ship tossed in the waves, a huge grin splitting his face even as he struggled to keep his grip and not be thrown into the ocean. When Jensen joined the rest of them for meals, Jared found that he tended to only half eat whatever was on his plate, because he spent so much time looking at Jensen while trying to make it seem as though he wasn’t. It seemed as though everyone had noticed anyway; Jared could tell by the way they smirked at him. It was a little bit embarrassing, but he tried to pretend everything was fine. It worked for a while.
One day, in the time between when they had finished lunch and when they had to go back on watch, Jensen was explaining to Jared some defensive strategy he had for the ship. It was all scribbled on scraps of paper and didn’t make much sense to Jared, but Jensen was taking it really seriously so he nodded and tried to understand. In the middle of listing different types of cannons and their strengths and weaknesses, Jensen looks around at Jared mid-sentence, and notices Jared’s eyes on him. He kind of twitched and looked away, his cheeks turning just a little pink.
Oh, Jared thought. Okay.
It had been months and Jared had sort of accepted that Jensen wasn’t interested in him like that. It was the most logical explanation; Jensen had to know that Jared was his, if he wanted him. Jensen could have him any time he wanted, so if he didn’t act on Jared’s availability, it had to be because he didn’t want to. But after that moment, Jared started to notice things. Jensen spent a lot more time teaching Jared things than he did with Alex. Which made sense, because Alex was on Chris’s watch. But even Chris didn’t spend much time with Alex, mostly letting the less senior sailors teach him what he needed to know.
Jensen spoke to Jared a bit differently than he did to everyone else. Well, everyone did that, up to a point, and it was probably because they thought he was fragile and might break down and cry all over their shirts if they were mean, like he’d done to Jensen that one time. But, actually, that wasn’t so true anymore, and just the other day Chris had yelled at him for taking the last bacon rasher. (Jared had mumbled something snide under his breath and Chris had given him some weird salute for ‘almost having the balls to tell me off’. It had been kind of sweet.)
So, if Jensen was always making the effort to say nice things to Jared, and teach him stuff, and check that he was okay, maybe it was for some other reason than Jensen just being a nice guy. Not that he wasn’t a nice guy, also, but he didn’t really do those things for anyone else. And he didn’t look at anyone else the way Jared sometimes noticed Jensen looking at him.
Jared thought back to the time he’d kissed Jensen. He’d thought about it quite a lot, wondered what it would be like to kiss Jensen and have him kiss back. He wondered if Jensen would kiss him like that now. It wasn’t going to happen though, because Jared had learned his lesson and wasn’t going to go through that again. He decided not to do anything about it.
It wasn’t quite that simple, though, because Jensen still looked at Jared, and Jared still thought about Jensen a lot. Jared found himself doing things, mostly unintentionally, to get Jensen’s attention. Little things, like standing closer than he needed to when they were talking. Or sitting next to Jensen in the mess, even if there was more room somewhere else. Or seeing something, just something silly, something small, in the marketplace of a little town they spent the night in, and buying it just because it made him think of Jensen.
It was a deck of cards with a ship on the back, a famous ship that Jensen told stories about a lot. When he found Jensen in the common room of the inn they were staying in, he handed the cards over without explaining, knowing that Jensen would understand. Jensen flicked through the cards and grinned. “What’s the occasion?” Jensen asked.
Jared shrugged. “Just felt like it,” he said. He wasn’t meaning to, but Jensen was looking at him again, only this time he wasn’t even trying to pretend he wasn’t, and that made Jared feel suddenly brave. He leaned in and brushed his mouth lightly against Jensen’s. It was barely even a kiss. Jared sat back afterwards, feeling sort of stunned and giddy at his own daring. Jensen was still looking at him, looking a little stunned as well.
“Um...” Jensen began. “You’re not freaking out on me again, are you?”
“No?” said Jared. He didn’t think he was.
“Oh. That’s good, because, you know, we talked about that.”
“Oh. Right. No, I just. Um. I just sort of... wanted to? Sorry.” Jared got up to leave, but Jensen grabbed his wrist before he could go too far.
“Don’t, I mean. I didn’t mind,” said Jensen, smiling a bit. “I just, um, I can’t always tell what you’re thinking.”
“Oh.” Jared sat back down. “Me, too. I mean, it’s hard for me to tell what you’re thinking, too.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, like,” Jared gathered up his nerve and plunged on, “Like, sometimes I think it seems like you want me to kiss you? But then I’m not sure. So. I dunno. Do you?”
“Uh...”
Jensen looked slightly panicky, so Jared kept talking. “Because I do. Want to kiss you. But I don’t want you to feel like you have to kiss me, like if you don’t want to hurt my feelings or something. That would suck.”
“Yeah, um. Yeah. That would totally suck. God, Jared.” Jensen’s voice sounded a bit strangled, and then he coughed and said, more clearly. “Luckily, I absolutely would like to kiss you. A lot. Really.”
“Really?” Jared looked around the mostly but not completely empty common room. “Like, here?”
“Um. Where did you have in mind?”
“I dunno. Somewhere with less people?” Jared thought it was probably pretty silly to be embarrassed by just kissing someone in a mostly empty room, but he didn’t like the idea of people watching.
“We could go up to my room. If that’s okay with you?”
“I guess.” Jared paused as a new thought occurred to him. “Just to kiss though, right? Not... I mean...” Jared trailed off, not quite sure how Jensen would react if he said he wasn’t willing to do more than kiss.
“That’s fine. Jared, listen.” Jensen sounded serious, so Jared listened closely. “You tell me you want to stop, or there’s something you don’t want to do, that’s it. We’ll stop, or we won’t do whatever it is. I promise. Okay?”
“Yeah.” Jared felt himself smile, really smile. “Yeah, that sounds good.”
*****************
4
They spent a lot of time kissing, after that. At random moments. It didn’t seem like a big deal. Jensen would give Jared a peck on the lips at the start of their watch, before they went their separate ways to work. Or when they were sitting down to eat, Jensen sometimes wrapped an arm around Jared’s shoulder, or his waist, and kissed his cheek or his jaw. Jared always blushed bright red, because there was no privacy on the ship and everyone could see. It was okay, though. The crew would tease them sometimes but they never went too far, and if Jared started to feel too embarrassed Jensen would usually realise and get everyone to back off. It was fine.
After a month or so, it stopped bothering Jared so much. Sometimes, if there weren’t lots of people around and no-one was looking, he would kiss Jensen instead of waiting for Jensen to kiss him. Sometimes they spent a lot of time kissing, until Jensen stopped them and complained that he wouldn’t be able to concentrate when it was his watch. Jared wasn’t sure why he complained. Jensen had an entire cabin to himself. Jared just had the hold. There was no privacy in there to take care of things, even though, for the first time Jared could remember, he really wanted to.
Jared got his revenge, though, kissing Jensen till he was breathless, across his cheek and down his jaw where he left a line of little hickeys, high up where Jensen’s collar wouldn’t hide them. Chris gave him shit about it for days.
There was a day where, between watches, Jared and Jensen hid in Jensen’s cabin and spent more than an hour just kissing. Jared got really into it, cupping Jensen’s face in his hands and feeling Jensen run his fingers through Jared’s hair, tugging just a little bit. It was awesome. Jared slipped one hand under the hem of Jensen’s shirt, let his hand sit on Jensen’s waist and felt the smooth skin there. He ran his hand up Jensen’s side and Jensen gasped into his mouth, pushing his hips forward a little bit. Yes, Jared thought. He shifted one leg forward, slipping his thigh between Jensen’s. Jensen moaned and pushed even closer, and that was it, he was right there and Jared could feel Jensen’s cock against his own, through their trousers. Should do something about that, he thought, before Jensen sprang away.
“Sorry, God, Jared, I’m so, so sorry...” Jensen was babbling and apologising and Jared didn’t understand why for a second. What happened, he wondered, can’t we go back to a couple of minutes ago?
Jensen was looking at him with this panicked expression, saying, “I’m really sorry, Jared, are you okay? I didn’t...” That’s when Jared remembered, oh yeah, he was damaged, broken, and Jensen was worried he’d upset him. He’d started off remembering, every day, where he came from and how Jensen had found him. Now he only remembered when something reminded him. Like now. Moments like this sucked.
“Jared, are you alright? Just say something, okay?”
“Oh, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”
“I didn’t mean to freak you out.”
Jared nodded, even though he wasn’t the one who was freaked out, Jensen was. “I should go,” he said, even though his watch didn’t start for another two hours.
Things got really awkward after that. Jensen was doing that thing he’d done before, where he watched Jared and tried to pretend he wasn’t. It was really obvious now, though, because Jared knew what to look for. They didn’t get much time together, but it wasn’t until Chris complained at mess about Jensen taking all his meals in his cabin that Jared realised Jensen was actually avoiding him. That made him feel worse. Maybe Jensen was actually disgusted by what they’d nearly done, by the idea of having sex with someone who’d done all the things Jared had. Jared didn’t think Jensen would think that, but what did he really know anyway? Not enough to make Jensen stop avoiding him, obviously.
A week later Jim cooked a special meal because it was Jared’s birthday. He did it for everyone on the ship, when it was their birthday, but Jared thought Jim had done a little bit more for his. There was roasted meat, actual fresh meat and not the dried stuff they usually ate. There were vegetables and fresh bread, with actual butter, and there was enough for everyone to have seconds, if they didn’t take too much, and that never happened. There was even a cake, not very big but they cut it into small slices and shared it out, and it was great.
Jensen came to the mess for that meal. He couldn’t avoid it, Jared knew, because everyone had already noticed how things were between them, and they were gossiping about it, speculating about whether they’d had a fight and what it was about. It was probably nothing compared to what they’d all start saying if Jensen skipped Jared’s birthday dinner.
After, when they were on watch, Jared was working up near the stern and saw Jensen heading his way. He thought at first Jensen was seeking him out and they might finally get to clear the air. Jensen obviously didn’t know he was there, though, because the moment he noticed Jared he stopped dead and turned around. Jared got kind of mad. He wasn’t sure what Jensen’s problem was, but he didn’t think he’d done anything to deserve this, and if he had, the least Jensen could do would be to tell him what it was.
“Hey!” he called. “Hey, Jensen!”
At first Jensen seemed like he was going to pretend he didn’t hear. Jared left his work unfinished and stalked in Jensen’s direction. Jensen looked around with a bit of a grimace, like he was steeling himself for something.
“What is up with you?” Jared asked, getting straight to the point.
“What do you mean?” Jensen asked, rather weakly. It was such a weak attempt at deflection that Jared just looked at him until he crumbled. “It’s nothing,” he said. “It’s nothing. I just... I just feel sort of bad. For making you uncomfortable. I didn’t... anyway, you shouldn’t have to be around me if you don’t want to be.”
“If I don’t want to be?” Jared asked. “I thought you’d let me make up my own mind what I wanted. You’re avoiding me. You’ve just decided, what, I shouldn’t be around you now?”
“Oh!” Jensen looked startled. “I didn’t think... I mean, I just figured you wouldn’t... after...”
“And that’s another thing,” said Jared, getting really warmed up to the topic. “You don’t want to, like, make out any more or something? You could have let me know.”
“I just thought, like, maybe it was going a little too far. I wanted to make sure you were okay with it, that you didn’t feel pressured...”
“I was fine with it!” said Jared furiously. “It was great! It only bothered me when you started acting like I was going to freak out on you. If I had a problem with something you did, I’d tell you.”
Jensen looked taken aback at first, and then like he was gathering the nerve to say something. “Would you really, Jared?” he asked. “Because, I mean, in the past it seems like you’ve done what you thought I wanted, whether or not it was what you wanted.”
“I... yeah, I know.” Jared thought about Jensen’s question seriously. “You could have just asked me what I wanted, you know. Because, you just started avoiding me and didn’t tell me what was up... that was the first time in a while that I felt like, like I needed to worry about making you happy. Doing whatever you wanted. I... next time, just ask me.”
“Okay,” said Jensen. “Yeah. Right. I was kind of an asshole, huh?”
Jared gave a small smile. “A little bit, yeah.”
“I missed kissing you.”
“So did I.”
Jensen twisted his mouth and looked away for a second. “I think... I mean, it would be good, if you wanted to, we could do more. Do other stuff. Just, only what you want. Nothing else.”
“Yeah,” said Jared. “Yeah. I think we should do that.”
“Right,” said Jensen. He bounced on his toes a little bit.
“But we’re still on watch.”
“Oh. Yeah. So. Not right now, then.”
“I guess not. But after...”
“Oh, yeah. After. That would be... yeah.”
“I’ll see you. At your cabin?”
Jensen smiled, wide and excited. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll see you there.”
As it turned out, though, they didn’t get up to anything in Jensen’s cabin. Jared went back to his work, thinking that it would be difficult to concentrate for the rest of the watch. The sun was setting, but it was quite cloudy and dark, even though it was still technically daylight. The wind had been blowing hard all day, but it grew brisker as the evening went on, and spatters of rain began to fall. Jensen began to look worried. “It’s going to storm,” he said. “Gonna be a bad one. Get everything tied down.”
There was plenty of work to keep them busy for the rest of the watch, taking in sail and making sure everything on deck was tied down. The rain was coming down heavily within an hour, but Jared was down in the bilge by then, working the pumps with Chad to get rid of excess water in case the ship was damaged. At the end of the watch, Jensen sent them both off to rest but stayed on deck himself to keep an eye on things.
Jared didn’t sleep much. The ship was pitching sharply in the waves, and whenever he began to doze he was jolted awake. It wasn’t long before the bell began to ring and he heard Chris calling for all hands. Up on deck, it was clear the storm had worsened a lot. Jensen was at the helm, with David, Steve and Mike, all wrestling the wheel. Other deckhands were rushing around on deck, making sure the sails were all secure. If one was tugged loose by the wind, it could be disastrous. Jared wound up working the pumps again, with Tom and Alex as well as Chad this time. They were down there for a long time, with the storm not appearing to let up at all. Eventually, Misha and Richard came down to relieve them, and they took a turn up on deck. It wasn’t like a rest, really, because they were still working frantically, but they were using different muscles, which was at least something.
The storm lasted for sixteen hours. At some point, a hole developed in the ship’s hull, and the cargo hold began taking on water. They realised fairly quickly, luckily because they couldn’t afford to lose too much of their cargo. They set up more pumps and worked them twice as hard, but it didn’t help much. Jensen got them shifting the cargo to every dry part of the ship it would fit, filling up the mess and his cabin with barrels and chests. Around noon the next day, the weather began to ease up. The extra deck hands were dismissed to get some rest, but Jared had to stay out and finish his watch. At four in the afternoon, he managed to eat some hardtack and stumble down into the hold to collapse into his hammock. He could see Jensen not far away, sleeping in the hold with the crew because his cabin was full of junk.
Jared could have slept for a day, but had to force himself awake after four hours to get back on deck. Everyone seemed equally tired. There had been some minor damage to the fore-mast and some of the sails, but the biggest issue was the hole in the hull. They’d patched it as best they could, and set a course for a town where it could be fixed properly. In the meantime, watches were a bit busier than usual as they had to keep working the extra pumps and stitch sailcloth on top of everything else.
It wasn’t until the next day when Jared fell into his hammock after a watch that he remembered what he and Jensen had been planning before everything happened. He looked over to the hammock Jensen was using temporarily, and could see Jensen looking back at him. Jared thought Jensen would probably be happy to take Jared to a dark corner of the hold and do it right there. He wouldn’t, though, because he had to know Jared wouldn’t be okay with that, and Jared knew Jensen wouldn’t ask him to do something that he didn’t want to. Still, Jared felt pretty frustrated to think of Jensen’s cabin all full of junk when they could have been using it to have sex right then.
“We’ll reach port tomorrow,” said Jensen at the start of their next watch. “I’ll get us a hotel room, while the ship’s being fixed.”
“Awesome,” said Jared.
The town wasn’t all that big, and there was only one place letting rooms. Jared took care of those arrangements while Jensen saw about getting the materials to fix the ship. They spent what was left of the day working on the repairs, and then headed back to the tavern to eat. After that, they spent some time with the rest of the crew, drinking and talking and relaxing. They didn’t get much of a chance to do that, all together, while they’re at sea. Eventually, around midnight, the bartender looked like he wants to shoo everyone out, and Jared and Jensen headed up to their room. Jared pounced on Jensen the moment the door was closed, ignoring his surprised grunt. They kissed urgently, and Jared stealthily untucked Jensen’s shirt, mumbling to him between kisses, “I’m fine, not freaking out, this is fine...”
“Okay, I fucking get it already,” Jensen growled after a minute of that.
“Just making sure. So, you gonna take that shirt off or what?”
Of course, it was at this exact moment that someone knocked on the door. Jensen gave a frustrated groan and flung it open. “Whatever you want, it had better be a matter of life and death,” he snarled to the people on the other side, who turned out to be Chris and Steve.
“Hey, Jensen, guess what,” said Chris cheerily.
“What?” Jensen asked.
Steve gave Chris a cutting glare. “Don’t be a jerk,” he said. His expression, when he looked at Jensen, was at least slightly apologetic. “They stuffed up with the rooms,” he explained. “Some other bunch of guys booked ahead, or something, and there’s not enough space. We’re doubling up everywhere, but, well. Can we share with you?”
Jensen looked like he wanted to say no, but Jared spoke up first. Chris and Steve were his friends too, after all, and he wasn’t going to make them sleep in the hall. “Of course you can,” he said. He could hear a dull thud as Jensen let his head land against the wall, and shrugged at him. Jensen shrugged back and rolled his eyes.
“Fine,” said Jensen. “Come in and get some sleep. We’ve got a ship to fix.”
***************
5
Fixing the Gazelle took five days. It was a nice change of pace, being able to sleep for more than four hours at a time and eat good food as often as they wanted. Still, by the time they left the port, Jared found he was quite happy to be back on the water. And not just for the obvious reasons. The constant motion of the ship in the waves was pleasant, and the ship had become the one place where Jared always knew exactly what he should be doing.
Jared and Jensen finished their watch at midnight. Jensen had been looking Jared’s way with an increasingly heated gaze ever since about three bells, so Jared needed no prompting to meet Jensen at his newly emptied cabin. They went inside and Jensen closed the door, leaned against it for a minute and apparently listened to the sounds of the port watch working outside.
“Alone at last?” Jared asked, a bit uncertainly.
Jensen laughed a little and slumped back against the door. “Fuck,” he said. “Can you believe this last week?”
Jared laughed too. “Not really,” he said. “It’s been kinda ridiculous.”
“Yeah.” Jensen smiled at him, soft and open, and stood up. He walked a step closer to Jared and held his hands. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot,” he said softly.
Jared swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. “Me too,” he said.
“What do you want to do?”
Jared really wanted to get naked, but feeling slightly nervous, he said instead, “Kiss me.”
Jensen fitted their mouths together and kissed Jared slowly. Jared could feel himself relaxing, his nerves easing with the familiarity of Jensen’s lips and tongue and his hands on Jared’s shoulders, his neck and his face. Jensen dropped his hands then, untucking Jared’s shirt.
“Is this okay?” he asked. Jared nodded.
“You, too,” he said, pulling at Jensen’s shirt. Jensen pulled Jared’s shirt over his head and then removed his own. He leaned in to kiss Jared again, and Jared gasped, feeling the press of Jensen’s chest against his own, the weight and warmth of him. Jensen slid his hands from Jared’s waist around his back. Jared tensed up a little bit, because he knew the scars were there, and Jensen knew the scars were there, but it was different having Jensen just go and touch them like that. Jensen didn’t say anything though, and it wasn’t long before Jared got his mind back on kissing. He put his own hands on Jensen’s hips and tugged him closer, and the press of Jensen groin against his sent a jolt of pleasure through him, so strong he clutched at Jensen to keep standing upright.
“Okay?” Jensen asked, and Jared had to concentrate really hard on the word before he could figure out what it meant.
“Bunk,” he said. “Bunk. We should lie down.”
Jensen shuddered and nodded, and they sort of shuffled towards the bunk, awkwardly because they weren’t willing to let any space come between them. Luckily it wasn’t far. Jared laid back on the bunk and Jensen climbed up to straddle his legs. It pulled the cloth of Jensen’s pants, and Jared could see the outline of his cock, felt his own grow harder at the sight. He reached out for the waistband of Jensen’s pants, trying to get them undone. Jensen was trying to kiss him at the same time, giving a frustrated groan at Jared’s distraction, until he figured out what Jared was trying to do and helped. He kicked the pants off at last, and Jared finally got a good look at him. He hadn’t seen Jensen naked before. He’d seen more of the rest of the crew than he had any desire to, but Jensen had his own cabin and took advantage of the extra privacy.
Something of Jared’s thoughts must have shown on his face, because Jensen slowed down, moved over Jared gently and sensuously, like he was showing off. Jared could see a faint blush on his cheeks, but he still let Jared look his fill, and Jared took advantage of that. It was a nice view. He let his hand run over Jensen’s hips and across his ass, enjoying the way Jensen twitched and thrust his hips forward. Jared had sort of been trying not to look at Jensen’s cock too much, which was kind of stupid when he thought about what they were doing, and he couldn’t really help but look at it. He’d never really had much interest in dicks before, but Jensen’s was pretty nice, he supposed. He reached out and ran his thumb down the side, enjoying the way Jensen shuddered and actually whined. He ran his hand back up to the tip, let his fingertips rub over the head. Jensen jerked his hips again, trying to push his cock into Jared’s hand, so Jared let his fingers close around it and stroked slowly.
“Oh, yeah, Jared, yeah,” Jensen moaned. Jared grinned a little bit. He knew how to do this; he was going to drive Jensen out of his mind. He gripped Jensen tighter and single-mindedly went to work, enjoying the way Jensen clutched his shoulders and leaned his head against Jared’s neck, the way he just let Jared do as he pleased, the trust he showed by doing that. By the sound of Jensen’s ragged breaths, and the way he shook under Jared’s hands, Jared thought he was close, and he sped up his strokes, cupping Jensen’s face with his other hand. Jensen gave a cry as he came, cutting it off halfway through, and slumped down to lay half on top of Jared, his body becoming limp and boneless. Jared let Jensen lie against him, liking the way he felt, the weight and pressure and the way he was just there. Jensen stayed like that for a few minutes, and Jared thought maybe he’d gone to sleep. But soon, Jensen was moving and looking up, his eyes meeting Jared’s and the corners of his mouth turning up.
“Hey,” he said in a low voice.
“Hey?” Jared replied, a little unsure. Jensen kissed him gently on his lips, his jaw, then the base of his throat. Jared hummed happily. He enjoyed the attention without realising Jensen’s intentions until the other man was kissing his stomach, just below his belly button. “Jensen,” Jared gasped, when he began to undo Jared’s pants.
“This okay?” Jensen asked, and it took a moment before Jared recovered the wits to nod, struck as he was by the idea of Jensen touching his cock. Then it was happening, Jensen had Jared out of his pants and in his hands. Jared wasn’t quite prepared for the intensity of it, and he stuck his wrist in his mouth because he wasn’t sure he could keep from shouting. It wasn’t as though the entire crew wasn’t going to realise what they were doing, but they didn’t need to hear. Jensen smirked at Jared like he knew what he was thinking, and then he lowered his head and let his tongue glide across the head of Jared’s cock.
If Jensen’s hands had been intense, his mouth was unbelievable. Jared threw his head back and moaned around his arm, no trace of any more coherent thought than yes oh yes oh yes in his mind. If he’d still been aware of concepts like time and minutes and seconds, he might have been embarrassed by how quickly Jensen was able to bring him to the edge, but he was busy trying to muster the words to warn Jensen he was going to come.
“Gonna - gonna-“ he managed, and Jensen replied,
“Mmmm.” Jared closed his eyes and bit down on his wrist as he came. He was dimly aware of Jensen slowly pulling off his softening cock and moving on the bunk, coming up to lie beside him.
“Are you... was that... okay?” Jensen asked. Jared didn’t usually think of Jensen as being unsure, Jensen was the one who always knew what to do, but there was a trace of it in his voice now.
“That was awesome,” said Jared. “That was amazing. We can do that again, right?”
Jensen laughed into his ear. “Sure,” he said. “Do you mind if we sleep a little first?”
“Sleep is good,” answered Jared. “But later, we’ll. More of that. You’re going to need your rest.”
“I think you might be right,” said Jensen, pulling Jared closer and wrapping his arms around him. Jared in turn put his arms around Jensen. He wasn’t sure which of them fell asleep first.