pray i find my kitten :(
so i go downstairs at 4am today to find out that the stray kitten i adopted a few months ago got outside on saturday night and hasnt been seen since. and the only reason i fucking know is because i found out for myself when i couldnt find her and asked.
i asked WHY they didnt fucking tell me about this [its not like its the first time something has happened and im never told about it until days or weeks later, even if it involves me. they do this all the fucking time] and mom said because she didnt have a chance to tell me since i wasnt downstairs on sunday TO be told about it
.
number 1, the reason i wasnt downstairs is because i was too sick to get out of bed on sunday. number 2, my mother WAS UPSTAIRS WITH ME ON 4 OR 5 DIFFERENT OCCASIONS. SO SHE HAD MORE THAN ONE CHANCE TO TELL ME, AND SHE STILL DIDNT.
when i pointed that out she fucking changed her story and said she didnt think to tell me about. once again, a fucking lie, because i even MENTIONED the kitten to her today about something and even then she didnt. so she DID remember, she just didnt want to fucking TELL ME BECAUSE SHE KNOWS I WOULD BE PISSED AT HER.
so now ALL of sunday was wasted when i could have been looking for her, simply because my mother is an ignorant selfish bitch who decided she just didnt want to tell me, for whatever stupid reason she has this time. i may have been sick but i damn sure would have gotten out of bed, sick and in pain, to look for her. and she knew that. i just spent 2 fucking hours OUTSIDE in the cold, 4am, looking for her, i would have surely done it earlier if i had just known.
so now that poor kitten is out in 20 degree weather with no shelter, no food, and no water. when she might have been able to be home already had i gotten the chance to look. the reason i looked for her is because when i was downstairs i thought i heard her outside in my driveway, so when i went to ask my grandmother if there are neighborhood cats outside, she mentioned the KITTEN being gone. but when i was out there, i couldnt find her. but it sounded like two cats, so now im afraid she was in a fight or got chased off by another cat or something worse.
the neighborhood is horrible, theres like 6 or 7 houses near me that have nasty, huge dogs. and the house on the corner, 2 houses down, has 4 pitbulls that are mean that they always let off the leash to roam the neighborhood and have been SEEN chasing other animals around. these are the fucking dogs that bit me and my dog on a walk last summer, making it so i cant walk my own dog anymore. so now not only is she dealing with the elements and having no food or water, shes in danger from the neighborhood dogs that wouldnt think twice about mauling a kitten. and shes fucking tiny, theres no way she'd survive.
im just so angry and worried right now. my mother sat there yelling at me because i was mad that i wasnt told, and then got even angrier when she started giving me those bullshit excuses on why she didnt tell me. she sat there yelling at me that the reason the kitten is gone is because "i didnt come downstairs to look for her today." are you seriously kidding me? im not the one who let her out, and I WASNT FUCKING TOLD IN THE FIRST PLACE SO HOW CAN I FUCKING LOOK FOR HER WHEN I DONT KNOW SHES LOST? are you HONESTLY BLAMING ME FOR BEING SO SICK I COULDNT MOVE?
even fucking so, the point is, even though i wasnt downstairs to be told, she was upstairs and had plenty of chances to tell me, and she didnt. yet its MY fault i dont know because i didnt come downstairs? its complete and utter bullshit and im so fucking sick of this ignorant bitch lying to me and feeding me bullshit and then having the nerve to get mad when i call her stupid ass out on it. she sat there yelling and calling me names because i told her that she should have told me.
its just, the ignorance and immaturity of this woman knows no bounds. this is the woman who throws a temper tantrum and yells in public. she may be my mother but all she does is lie to me, yell at me, and blame me for things when i had no fucking part in them. she does this stuff all the time, all this immature bullshit. mother or not, shes a fucking bitch and doesnt deserve any respect from me if all she does is lie to me and yell at me like that, im not even going to get started on how she acts and treats me in public and embarrasses me. she acts like an 8 year old, and cares about nobody but herself.
im just so, so sick of this fucking woman acting like an immature, selfish bitch. i just wish she would grow up and stop lying to me, stop feeding me bullshit, stop BLAMING ME FOR SHIT WHEN I DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON. SERIOUSLY, ITS MY FAULT THE CAT IS LOST BECAUSE I DIDNT LOOK FOR HER TODAY BECAUSE /I DIDNT EVEN KNOW SHE WAS MISSING/? SERIOUSLY? ITS MY FAULT?
im upset and crying, mainly because im worried sick about the kitten who i might never see again, is in the cold without food, water, and shelter with wild rabid dogs in my neighborhood. so worried shes going to get killed or worse, die a painful death, from freezing to death or being mauled by a dog or hit by a car or hurt by some sick animal abuser. im just besides myself with worry and my mother doesnt even give a fuck about the poor thing. i just dont know what to do other than pray she comes home and go out and try to look for her tomorrow and just hope for the best shes not suffering somewhere alone and feeling unloved and scared.
plus, all the anger and hurt inside me because of how selfish and ignorant my mother is isnt helping matters.
so angry and upset right now, i cant even speak.
id give anything to be able to move away and never have to deal with the way im treated by my mother again. theres only so much ignorance and selfishness i can take from her. the things she says to me are just downright verbal abuse, im not even going to get in to too many details on what she says to me about why im sick or why im still sick. tl;dr: its my own fault im sick and never get better, because i dont try.
THATS the kind of mother i have. the one who doesnt care about anyone but herself and likes being a bitch to people.
i just pray i find that kitten before something bad happens.
so angry and upset im shaking. ugh. i dont want to live or deal with this woman anymore.
i asked WHY they didnt fucking tell me about this [its not like its the first time something has happened and im never told about it until days or weeks later, even if it involves me. they do this all the fucking time] and mom said because she didnt have a chance to tell me since i wasnt downstairs on sunday TO be told about it
.
number 1, the reason i wasnt downstairs is because i was too sick to get out of bed on sunday. number 2, my mother WAS UPSTAIRS WITH ME ON 4 OR 5 DIFFERENT OCCASIONS. SO SHE HAD MORE THAN ONE CHANCE TO TELL ME, AND SHE STILL DIDNT.
when i pointed that out she fucking changed her story and said she didnt think to tell me about. once again, a fucking lie, because i even MENTIONED the kitten to her today about something and even then she didnt. so she DID remember, she just didnt want to fucking TELL ME BECAUSE SHE KNOWS I WOULD BE PISSED AT HER.
so now ALL of sunday was wasted when i could have been looking for her, simply because my mother is an ignorant selfish bitch who decided she just didnt want to tell me, for whatever stupid reason she has this time. i may have been sick but i damn sure would have gotten out of bed, sick and in pain, to look for her. and she knew that. i just spent 2 fucking hours OUTSIDE in the cold, 4am, looking for her, i would have surely done it earlier if i had just known.
so now that poor kitten is out in 20 degree weather with no shelter, no food, and no water. when she might have been able to be home already had i gotten the chance to look. the reason i looked for her is because when i was downstairs i thought i heard her outside in my driveway, so when i went to ask my grandmother if there are neighborhood cats outside, she mentioned the KITTEN being gone. but when i was out there, i couldnt find her. but it sounded like two cats, so now im afraid she was in a fight or got chased off by another cat or something worse.
the neighborhood is horrible, theres like 6 or 7 houses near me that have nasty, huge dogs. and the house on the corner, 2 houses down, has 4 pitbulls that are mean that they always let off the leash to roam the neighborhood and have been SEEN chasing other animals around. these are the fucking dogs that bit me and my dog on a walk last summer, making it so i cant walk my own dog anymore. so now not only is she dealing with the elements and having no food or water, shes in danger from the neighborhood dogs that wouldnt think twice about mauling a kitten. and shes fucking tiny, theres no way she'd survive.
im just so angry and worried right now. my mother sat there yelling at me because i was mad that i wasnt told, and then got even angrier when she started giving me those bullshit excuses on why she didnt tell me. she sat there yelling at me that the reason the kitten is gone is because "i didnt come downstairs to look for her today." are you seriously kidding me? im not the one who let her out, and I WASNT FUCKING TOLD IN THE FIRST PLACE SO HOW CAN I FUCKING LOOK FOR HER WHEN I DONT KNOW SHES LOST? are you HONESTLY BLAMING ME FOR BEING SO SICK I COULDNT MOVE?
even fucking so, the point is, even though i wasnt downstairs to be told, she was upstairs and had plenty of chances to tell me, and she didnt. yet its MY fault i dont know because i didnt come downstairs? its complete and utter bullshit and im so fucking sick of this ignorant bitch lying to me and feeding me bullshit and then having the nerve to get mad when i call her stupid ass out on it. she sat there yelling and calling me names because i told her that she should have told me.
its just, the ignorance and immaturity of this woman knows no bounds. this is the woman who throws a temper tantrum and yells in public. she may be my mother but all she does is lie to me, yell at me, and blame me for things when i had no fucking part in them. she does this stuff all the time, all this immature bullshit. mother or not, shes a fucking bitch and doesnt deserve any respect from me if all she does is lie to me and yell at me like that, im not even going to get started on how she acts and treats me in public and embarrasses me. she acts like an 8 year old, and cares about nobody but herself.
im just so, so sick of this fucking woman acting like an immature, selfish bitch. i just wish she would grow up and stop lying to me, stop feeding me bullshit, stop BLAMING ME FOR SHIT WHEN I DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON. SERIOUSLY, ITS MY FAULT THE CAT IS LOST BECAUSE I DIDNT LOOK FOR HER TODAY BECAUSE /I DIDNT EVEN KNOW SHE WAS MISSING/? SERIOUSLY? ITS MY FAULT?
im upset and crying, mainly because im worried sick about the kitten who i might never see again, is in the cold without food, water, and shelter with wild rabid dogs in my neighborhood. so worried shes going to get killed or worse, die a painful death, from freezing to death or being mauled by a dog or hit by a car or hurt by some sick animal abuser. im just besides myself with worry and my mother doesnt even give a fuck about the poor thing. i just dont know what to do other than pray she comes home and go out and try to look for her tomorrow and just hope for the best shes not suffering somewhere alone and feeling unloved and scared.
plus, all the anger and hurt inside me because of how selfish and ignorant my mother is isnt helping matters.
so angry and upset right now, i cant even speak.
id give anything to be able to move away and never have to deal with the way im treated by my mother again. theres only so much ignorance and selfishness i can take from her. the things she says to me are just downright verbal abuse, im not even going to get in to too many details on what she says to me about why im sick or why im still sick. tl;dr: its my own fault im sick and never get better, because i dont try.
THATS the kind of mother i have. the one who doesnt care about anyone but herself and likes being a bitch to people.
i just pray i find that kitten before something bad happens.
so angry and upset im shaking. ugh. i dont want to live or deal with this woman anymore.