RP Honesty - an honest request for assistance
Okay, so... being without my computer (and the new year) sort of made me consider a few things. One of them is my RP.
There's a lot of it I just don't have any motivation to do. It's not that they're gone from my brain; they're just... not all that interested in posting or being posted to. Their plots are something I have to drag out of them. I don't think "oh GLEE, it's a new day for me to post in _____" like I used to. My enthusiasm is seriously down.
The thing is, I joined a new game with a pup I love and can never get to shut up and in the last week or so in this game, I've noticed something that I've never really been able to say before: I'm pretty sure I have too many characters. Too many to maintain, anyway, and do any justice to them in the sense of letting them grow and develop and DO things. Too many to do anything interesting with either, so I think that might be why my RP has suffered (other than the computer death).
So below this cut is a list of my Milliways pups, my reasons for apping them, why I'm thinking of cutting them loose, and why I'd like them to stay. Then below that is a poll with tickyboxes.
Who to keep.
And I'd really really appreciate some honesty. I'm not asking who I play the best (though I should hope that that might be part of the thought process) but more who has the most to give to the game. Who WORKS at Milliways? Who do you think I should keep to improve everyone's fun and ability to play and actually DO things with my pups?
And for anyone who has plot hinging on one of these pups, please be rest assured that I will fulfill my plot obligations no matter what's decided here, either by OOM or keeping them around until plot is done. No muses are "gone" or unbrainable; I'm just thinking on my resources and how to better allot them.
calderon_crow - Tavi of Calderon
--------Tavi was apped because I absolutely love his canon, perhaps more than the Dresden Files, and I loved the idea of a main character who has LESS ability than everyone else in his world. The world of Carna fascinates me and Tavi as a character is one I'm absolutely in love with. I honestly hadn't thought of cutting him loose at all since my enthusiasm for him (especially with a Kitai and a Max) is pretty high.
chemist_rani - The Rani
--------The Rani was apped because she wouldn't shut up, and because I think she's an absolutely fascinating character when you put together all the facts about her. She is still a very loud muse, one who tends to act as a critical peanut gallery, and I love her voice very much. I have, however, thought of cutting her loose because, well... she's anti-social. She doesn't associate with people much and prefers to work on her work. I tried to keep her without a TARDIS to make her deal with people, but it just made her irritated and mildly insane; at this point, I think she works better in an environment wherein there was some definite thing to DO and/or she was dealing with people from her own universe more often. That, or a drabble community since, as said, the voice is very strong. I'm also frustrated by the fact that I don't know (officially)if she's alive or dead (RTD's hinting aside) and in what form she might BE alive or dead. While I would never want to stop playing with her, I'm starting to think Milliways just isn't the game for her (at least not from my brain) even though I love Roger's Doctor.
forge_fire - Hephaestos
--------I love Heph. I have ALWAYS loved Heph. When I was younger, I got into classical myths and Heph was always my favorite because he was the one I could relate to. I got a strong Maker ethic from an early age and I always enjoyed working with him on a more personal level. That's why when he was opened up for app, I grabbed him. People have always said they like my Heph, that he 'works' for them on a base level, and that's what I've always strove for. I love having him, love his quiet, dependable manner. I love having a character not prone to chatting; while all his threads tend towards being short, I don't mind because he really can accomplish so much. I love the relationships he's managed to create with Wells, with Axel, and others... but my only problem is that he ever and always has no plot. He's a god and it's hard to grow or change or progress as a god. I suppose I've never really considered letting him go, but he is always a sometimes-character.
happy_footed - Mumble Happyfeet
--------...why WOULDN'T you love Mumble? I don't even understand that kind of brain process. I apped him because he is cute and fluffy and dances and he's done a few things I'd never expected (like take down a shoggoth!)... but here's the thing: he's cute and fluffy. He's a cute and fluffy and I don't really want to progress him through canon. I like him just being cute and fluffy and happy and bouncy and tappity. He will never grow or progress. He's another one like Heph, a sometimes-character, but with Mumble I almost feel badly for keeping him since I worry that someone might actually want to have such a character and develop them.
hungbyathread - Geoffrey Tennant
--------I had to. That's all there was to it: I had to. Geoffrey Tennant is a part of my soul, the romantically insane English lit professor who looks at words three, four, five hundred years old and finds joy and sorrow and brilliance and meaning in them. He's that part of me that believes in great truths, is willing to stick by my standards unto the worst, who isn't really understood but wants you to understand not because he needs it but because YOU need it. I love him, flat out, no question. And I love his canon. And I love Paul Gross. Here's the problem: I can't brain him much because I am SO critical of my play with him. He's just such a brilliant character, I'm not exactly afraid of him, but I refuse to play him if don't have that part of my brain and soul active and well... I'm not in college anymore. It pops up (I point to the fandom-related essay I'm going to be doing as soon as I get my source books all together) every once in a while, but not as much as it used to. I also know that there are a lot of muns in the bar who LOVE the show and would love to see him become a major character there and I know I can't support that. I've thought of offering him up for adoption, and I admit blatantly that I would be very picky and choosy as to who I'd give him to. Sorry, he's my favorite. My biggest issue there is giving up on the (largely handwaved, sorry!) relationship with Spoon.
hunter_legend - John Winchester
---------I love him too. I love his complicated, overthinky, manipulating, tactical, tenacious bastardliness. I love that nothing he does is transparent in any way. I love John Winchester and I'm one of very few in the fandom who wholeheartedly thinks that he's a good man. Maybe not a nice man, but always a GOOD man. Now, though? He's dead. He's dead, and while I had plans for putting him through some of the comics canon and early pre-canon (I'd originally planned to play him from that point before we got Sam and Dean back)... it strikes me as sort of cruel, sort of pointless and unnecessary. And something about John just cries out at something unnecessary. He's done, done his job, did his best, and each and every time I moved to put him back in as plan, it sticks in my craw, something about it. I'm thinking and feeling that at this point, after what's happened, I might retire him because he's just... he's done. The voice is there but that particular incarnation in Milliways is just... he's done. I think it might be time for him to fall back into being part of OOMs instead of being in the main bar. Flashbacks, or end of season 2, or whatever. But not as a character. John Winchester is dead and a part of me that loves him would like him to rest in peace.
krazyglusurgeon - Pvt. Laurence Cooper
---------Cooper was picked up as a support character for Cam's milkbonesoldier. That said, he's a very quiet sort of voice and not one to go poking into things. He's not particularly social, he doesn't really 'need' the end of the universe. I like him, and he's funny sometimes, and I've come up with all kinds of plans for him... but I never can seem to get them done in time and I know that I've hurt a few people by not being able to do that. Unintentionally, but I did. I like him, but he's a support character and he's there really for the other Dog Soldiers pups. He makes me feel a bit guilty for not doing more with him, so I've thought of asking Cam and Madb if they'd mind me retiring him for OOM stuff, but I always feel so bad whenever think of doing it. I also keep thinking that I'll get his plots done and sometimes I do; sometimes I see awesome horror movies and I just desperately want to do something with the concept (the dark annwn plot) or I'll read The Zombie Survival Guide and want to do something with it (the Llanfair affair), but there's also the issue of sort of feeling restricted and nervous at playing with him in that respect since the DS-verse is part of the Buffy'verse (NOT criticism: I think it's a brilliant move, personally, and very sensical and it's made some awesome plots) and I don't want to muck anything up. That's sort of what happened with Dairine Callahan; there were so many people from their verse and an ongoing canon I didn't want to fuck up that it kept me from ever really exploring anything. I also love the Wells and Spoon interaction, so I would hate losing that.
mago_sonriente - Carlos Ramirez
---------I love Carlos. I love his character concept, I love the bits and pieces of flavor to his character, I love his quirks, I love his magic. I love that there's a latino mage in a big popular fantasy book series and I love that he's SMART more than strong. I love that he's the only damn wizard in that series who isn't grouchy. I apped Carlos because it was a chance to use some of my own culture, some of the thaumaturgy I'm familiar with, and because I love the Dresden'verse. That said, a lot of my enthusiasm got zapped when Harry dropped out of the game. It didn't help when Molly followed right after and the other Dresden-related pups sort of twittered off and it was easy to twitter with them. But oh... oh, how I love his relationship with Agnes. I love that he's dating a witch. I love playing with Roger's Agnes and the two of them and they're just so adorable, I can't even say. I totally love how they are together. I also like having him there to be on security (I REALLY need to post him in again, dammit, GODS I suck lately). He's not really one of the people up for retire/deletion, but I wanted to put him up.
wellthrownstone - Garion of Riva
---------the MacDaddy of apps, Garion. Garion who I've loved since I was wee Garion. Garion who I adore in every way shape and form, love playing, love playing with, love having meet people. Garion is my allpurpose pup and he's such a part of my psyche. His canon is a part of my permanent mental worldview and there's nothing I can do about that. It's also a part of my writing, my writing style, and the elements I deem important to a story. ...that said? I'm frustrated. I've BEEN frustrated. I'm frustrated because I can't keep a Ce'Nedra (and this in no way a comment on the person currently holding the journal so please, don't take it that way). I'm on my fourth Ce'Nedra-mun and for some reason luck keeps happening that whenever it passes to someone, something happens so that she never gets played. I love that character, my character loves that character, and it's so disjointed and out of whack for Garion to be the social one in a situation (everyone's HEARD of his wife, but so few have seen here; there was one point early in play while one person had her where someone joked about Garion's 'mythical' wife) that it can be frustrating to play. I don't know what it is. Current Ce'Nedra has said that if I find someone interested, to let her know, but she's going to try and reread canon and get her back in her head; like said, this isn't any kind of mun issue. But as a character issue, it's so very lopsided to play a Garion without regular Ce'Nedra interaction. Anyone who's read the books would totally understand.
get_help_boy - Timmy Robinson
---------short and sweet? I love the world. I love black comedy. I love Timmy himself. I love playing with it. I've... not had much luck with him and he was meant to be a one month app so as soon as I get off my butt about it, he's on the way out anyway. That said, if you can think of a reason to keep him around...
And now... the poll.
Poll Which pups to keep?
Feel free to post to this entry with anything you like, from criticism to advice. I'm opening myself up, here, cause I'm aware something has to change.
There's a lot of it I just don't have any motivation to do. It's not that they're gone from my brain; they're just... not all that interested in posting or being posted to. Their plots are something I have to drag out of them. I don't think "oh GLEE, it's a new day for me to post in _____" like I used to. My enthusiasm is seriously down.
The thing is, I joined a new game with a pup I love and can never get to shut up and in the last week or so in this game, I've noticed something that I've never really been able to say before: I'm pretty sure I have too many characters. Too many to maintain, anyway, and do any justice to them in the sense of letting them grow and develop and DO things. Too many to do anything interesting with either, so I think that might be why my RP has suffered (other than the computer death).
So below this cut is a list of my Milliways pups, my reasons for apping them, why I'm thinking of cutting them loose, and why I'd like them to stay. Then below that is a poll with tickyboxes.
Who to keep.
And I'd really really appreciate some honesty. I'm not asking who I play the best (though I should hope that that might be part of the thought process) but more who has the most to give to the game. Who WORKS at Milliways? Who do you think I should keep to improve everyone's fun and ability to play and actually DO things with my pups?
And for anyone who has plot hinging on one of these pups, please be rest assured that I will fulfill my plot obligations no matter what's decided here, either by OOM or keeping them around until plot is done. No muses are "gone" or unbrainable; I'm just thinking on my resources and how to better allot them.
calderon_crow - Tavi of Calderon
--------Tavi was apped because I absolutely love his canon, perhaps more than the Dresden Files, and I loved the idea of a main character who has LESS ability than everyone else in his world. The world of Carna fascinates me and Tavi as a character is one I'm absolutely in love with. I honestly hadn't thought of cutting him loose at all since my enthusiasm for him (especially with a Kitai and a Max) is pretty high.
chemist_rani - The Rani
--------The Rani was apped because she wouldn't shut up, and because I think she's an absolutely fascinating character when you put together all the facts about her. She is still a very loud muse, one who tends to act as a critical peanut gallery, and I love her voice very much. I have, however, thought of cutting her loose because, well... she's anti-social. She doesn't associate with people much and prefers to work on her work. I tried to keep her without a TARDIS to make her deal with people, but it just made her irritated and mildly insane; at this point, I think she works better in an environment wherein there was some definite thing to DO and/or she was dealing with people from her own universe more often. That, or a drabble community since, as said, the voice is very strong. I'm also frustrated by the fact that I don't know (officially)if she's alive or dead (RTD's hinting aside) and in what form she might BE alive or dead. While I would never want to stop playing with her, I'm starting to think Milliways just isn't the game for her (at least not from my brain) even though I love Roger's Doctor.
forge_fire - Hephaestos
--------I love Heph. I have ALWAYS loved Heph. When I was younger, I got into classical myths and Heph was always my favorite because he was the one I could relate to. I got a strong Maker ethic from an early age and I always enjoyed working with him on a more personal level. That's why when he was opened up for app, I grabbed him. People have always said they like my Heph, that he 'works' for them on a base level, and that's what I've always strove for. I love having him, love his quiet, dependable manner. I love having a character not prone to chatting; while all his threads tend towards being short, I don't mind because he really can accomplish so much. I love the relationships he's managed to create with Wells, with Axel, and others... but my only problem is that he ever and always has no plot. He's a god and it's hard to grow or change or progress as a god. I suppose I've never really considered letting him go, but he is always a sometimes-character.
happy_footed - Mumble Happyfeet
--------...why WOULDN'T you love Mumble? I don't even understand that kind of brain process. I apped him because he is cute and fluffy and dances and he's done a few things I'd never expected (like take down a shoggoth!)... but here's the thing: he's cute and fluffy. He's a cute and fluffy and I don't really want to progress him through canon. I like him just being cute and fluffy and happy and bouncy and tappity. He will never grow or progress. He's another one like Heph, a sometimes-character, but with Mumble I almost feel badly for keeping him since I worry that someone might actually want to have such a character and develop them.
hungbyathread - Geoffrey Tennant
--------I had to. That's all there was to it: I had to. Geoffrey Tennant is a part of my soul, the romantically insane English lit professor who looks at words three, four, five hundred years old and finds joy and sorrow and brilliance and meaning in them. He's that part of me that believes in great truths, is willing to stick by my standards unto the worst, who isn't really understood but wants you to understand not because he needs it but because YOU need it. I love him, flat out, no question. And I love his canon. And I love Paul Gross. Here's the problem: I can't brain him much because I am SO critical of my play with him. He's just such a brilliant character, I'm not exactly afraid of him, but I refuse to play him if don't have that part of my brain and soul active and well... I'm not in college anymore. It pops up (I point to the fandom-related essay I'm going to be doing as soon as I get my source books all together) every once in a while, but not as much as it used to. I also know that there are a lot of muns in the bar who LOVE the show and would love to see him become a major character there and I know I can't support that. I've thought of offering him up for adoption, and I admit blatantly that I would be very picky and choosy as to who I'd give him to. Sorry, he's my favorite. My biggest issue there is giving up on the (largely handwaved, sorry!) relationship with Spoon.
hunter_legend - John Winchester
---------I love him too. I love his complicated, overthinky, manipulating, tactical, tenacious bastardliness. I love that nothing he does is transparent in any way. I love John Winchester and I'm one of very few in the fandom who wholeheartedly thinks that he's a good man. Maybe not a nice man, but always a GOOD man. Now, though? He's dead. He's dead, and while I had plans for putting him through some of the comics canon and early pre-canon (I'd originally planned to play him from that point before we got Sam and Dean back)... it strikes me as sort of cruel, sort of pointless and unnecessary. And something about John just cries out at something unnecessary. He's done, done his job, did his best, and each and every time I moved to put him back in as plan, it sticks in my craw, something about it. I'm thinking and feeling that at this point, after what's happened, I might retire him because he's just... he's done. The voice is there but that particular incarnation in Milliways is just... he's done. I think it might be time for him to fall back into being part of OOMs instead of being in the main bar. Flashbacks, or end of season 2, or whatever. But not as a character. John Winchester is dead and a part of me that loves him would like him to rest in peace.
krazyglusurgeon - Pvt. Laurence Cooper
---------Cooper was picked up as a support character for Cam's milkbonesoldier. That said, he's a very quiet sort of voice and not one to go poking into things. He's not particularly social, he doesn't really 'need' the end of the universe. I like him, and he's funny sometimes, and I've come up with all kinds of plans for him... but I never can seem to get them done in time and I know that I've hurt a few people by not being able to do that. Unintentionally, but I did. I like him, but he's a support character and he's there really for the other Dog Soldiers pups. He makes me feel a bit guilty for not doing more with him, so I've thought of asking Cam and Madb if they'd mind me retiring him for OOM stuff, but I always feel so bad whenever think of doing it. I also keep thinking that I'll get his plots done and sometimes I do; sometimes I see awesome horror movies and I just desperately want to do something with the concept (the dark annwn plot) or I'll read The Zombie Survival Guide and want to do something with it (the Llanfair affair), but there's also the issue of sort of feeling restricted and nervous at playing with him in that respect since the DS-verse is part of the Buffy'verse (NOT criticism: I think it's a brilliant move, personally, and very sensical and it's made some awesome plots) and I don't want to muck anything up. That's sort of what happened with Dairine Callahan; there were so many people from their verse and an ongoing canon I didn't want to fuck up that it kept me from ever really exploring anything. I also love the Wells and Spoon interaction, so I would hate losing that.
mago_sonriente - Carlos Ramirez
---------I love Carlos. I love his character concept, I love the bits and pieces of flavor to his character, I love his quirks, I love his magic. I love that there's a latino mage in a big popular fantasy book series and I love that he's SMART more than strong. I love that he's the only damn wizard in that series who isn't grouchy. I apped Carlos because it was a chance to use some of my own culture, some of the thaumaturgy I'm familiar with, and because I love the Dresden'verse. That said, a lot of my enthusiasm got zapped when Harry dropped out of the game. It didn't help when Molly followed right after and the other Dresden-related pups sort of twittered off and it was easy to twitter with them. But oh... oh, how I love his relationship with Agnes. I love that he's dating a witch. I love playing with Roger's Agnes and the two of them and they're just so adorable, I can't even say. I totally love how they are together. I also like having him there to be on security (I REALLY need to post him in again, dammit, GODS I suck lately). He's not really one of the people up for retire/deletion, but I wanted to put him up.
wellthrownstone - Garion of Riva
---------the MacDaddy of apps, Garion. Garion who I've loved since I was wee Garion. Garion who I adore in every way shape and form, love playing, love playing with, love having meet people. Garion is my allpurpose pup and he's such a part of my psyche. His canon is a part of my permanent mental worldview and there's nothing I can do about that. It's also a part of my writing, my writing style, and the elements I deem important to a story. ...that said? I'm frustrated. I've BEEN frustrated. I'm frustrated because I can't keep a Ce'Nedra (and this in no way a comment on the person currently holding the journal so please, don't take it that way). I'm on my fourth Ce'Nedra-mun and for some reason luck keeps happening that whenever it passes to someone, something happens so that she never gets played. I love that character, my character loves that character, and it's so disjointed and out of whack for Garion to be the social one in a situation (everyone's HEARD of his wife, but so few have seen here; there was one point early in play while one person had her where someone joked about Garion's 'mythical' wife) that it can be frustrating to play. I don't know what it is. Current Ce'Nedra has said that if I find someone interested, to let her know, but she's going to try and reread canon and get her back in her head; like said, this isn't any kind of mun issue. But as a character issue, it's so very lopsided to play a Garion without regular Ce'Nedra interaction. Anyone who's read the books would totally understand.
get_help_boy - Timmy Robinson
---------short and sweet? I love the world. I love black comedy. I love Timmy himself. I love playing with it. I've... not had much luck with him and he was meant to be a one month app so as soon as I get off my butt about it, he's on the way out anyway. That said, if you can think of a reason to keep him around...
And now... the poll.
Poll Which pups to keep?
Feel free to post to this entry with anything you like, from criticism to advice. I'm opening myself up, here, cause I'm aware something has to change.