life sucks**
life is such bullshit , the one person that would do anything for me and loves me just as much as i love him, he always wants to hang out with me everyday and he leaves me today for 95 days. i can't take it. i have been crying since i woke up this morning in his bed.whats so great is that we are best friends and theres nothing there between us but love i even feel asleep in his arms,he is so great and now hes gone .i can't handle this, im not a strong person, i can't just pretend i don't miss him this has got to be one of the worst days of my pathetic life. i don't know what to do with myself as soon as i pulled up to his house tonight to watch a movie with everyone i started crying more knowing that he won't be on the couch when i walk in and he won't say "hi honey"...i hate this so so much.i wish i could just call his cell phone and have him come over. or we could go for one of our drives. or just anything...its only been 12 hours if that since i dropped him off and im already this histarical...im so stupid i wish i could just stop crying but i can't because i know he can't be there anymore and i have no one to handle my problems or make me laugh...maybe its selfish but i would do the same for him...i feel like im going to throw up, ive never felt so alone in my life. this might be the end of happiness till april 16th when i fly out to California to see him..until then i will cry and sleep my worthless life away.