may is for ______
that looks better.
thank you nap.
nap=i woke up, and no more than five minutes later i was walking through the classroom door. i crashed at 1pm, and set the alarm for 2:16pm, only i got up and turned the alarm back an hour somehow, but then as i was lying there, i convinced myself it was a dream, and the alarm really would go off at 2:16, but then i looked and realized i had 14min to get to class on time. which was fun.
maybe i'm tired. oh that's not a maybe actually. maybe the reason i just spent the last hour reading the friends page with my headphones on and no sound coming out of them is that i'm tired. this is the second day i've gone to sleep at night. i'm creating a habit of going to sleep at night. maybe? midnight sunday and 1am last night. so far my old man body has gotten me up at or sometime not too long after 5am, and i just lay there until about 6am or so and then give up, because even though i'm tired, i feel like i can't get back to sleep, and i had so much fun being tired monday night that i got up again this morning looking forward to the same effect tonight. i was worried that my rogue nap might've caught me up on some of the sleep i've been depriven of. deprived, depraven, depraved? those are some fun words, huh. not the case. it was one of those naps that make you tired, so like, hey, bonus right? all right.
i put on funeral, and all hail west texas. funeral cuz that wild things preview just makes me happy. is that one of those things other people know about way before i do? it's become kind of an automatic assumation process for me. it's like that GSY!BE sound bite, and the preacher man say that the end of the world is coming, but that's what the preacher man say, and i don't go by what he say. hhmmm. i'm sensing a breakdown in communication here. keep moving.
all hail west texas. i realized i hadn't heard a mountain goats song (cept my voice) in at least over a year, and so now i got the discography, and that's fun. i'm probably only gonna listen to a handful of albums from it, but those few i do hear will be heard very loud, and ok, clear.
my mind isn't even wandering right now. it's doing like the film on the surface of a glass of chocolate milk, when it's got just a little too much chocolate powder stirred into it.
i need to make a list, and just to be nerd about it, i think i'm gonna make it in vi. but i'm not really gonna make it anytime soon. at least not tonight. i've got way too much downloaded television to watch. aw hell, 'sides mr. brain don' wanna.
waking life. so i didn't(don't) have a job, which meant cutbacks, which meant being sober which meant an audible shift in my dreaming. i've heard some people don't dream much when they smoke, and i've heard the opposite, but it's always been a constant for me, and it's always been in living color. nevertheless, my awareness and retention ebbs and flows. think moon, and then think tides, and then think the next thought. so i had stopped smoking which maybe caused my dreamemory to wax nigh photographic. and even though no one wants to hear what you dreamt about unless you dreamt about them, i sit in the quiet of the after dinner table for two and report on the life of dreams past. in particular those i've been lucky (or just crazy) enough to have that were lucid in nature. the more i talk about it, which honestly wasn't that much, the more i realize this is yet something else again that i and i alone am going to be fascinated with. my philosophically flavored existential funk threatens once again to spin randomly out of control unless exorcised, so i feed the head a movie. waking life. it'd been years and years and years and maybe one or two more years since i'd since it for the first and only time, but i got so much more out of it. thinking about it now, it was a dynamic i'd heard recounted many times in church, but never experienced before in that capacity. the other freaks talk about how every time they study their books, the words don't change, but they'll notice something different or come to a deeper understanding of a concept, or an entirely new viewpoint. i'm thinking i'll just watch the waking life again in another six or seven years. if we're still here.
then i watched before sunrise for the first time. what the fuck? but not like, a negatively toned what the fuck. just what the fuck? i felt like i was watching a spinoff of a show, created entirely from one scene, removed. only the spinoff was made six years prior, and was in fact, only to be later summarized quite beautifully. oh wow. maybe i'm really richard linklater in another life.
okay. so. nap time. new sleep cycle patterns. old music anew, some entirely vague ramblings. old music again, again. where my mind is. an all encompassingly wholesome and hopeless endeavor, intended. the church of waking life, and it's preordained apostle.
some arise, summer eyes. summary...
summer easier?
feels like.
coming home from class, i just kept pedaling past our house, in the middle of the street. it was a gray and sparkly wet world woken up to this morning, but now the blue was barely clouded by comparison. tired as i was, it felt good.
still does.
thank you nap.
nap=i woke up, and no more than five minutes later i was walking through the classroom door. i crashed at 1pm, and set the alarm for 2:16pm, only i got up and turned the alarm back an hour somehow, but then as i was lying there, i convinced myself it was a dream, and the alarm really would go off at 2:16, but then i looked and realized i had 14min to get to class on time. which was fun.
maybe i'm tired. oh that's not a maybe actually. maybe the reason i just spent the last hour reading the friends page with my headphones on and no sound coming out of them is that i'm tired. this is the second day i've gone to sleep at night. i'm creating a habit of going to sleep at night. maybe? midnight sunday and 1am last night. so far my old man body has gotten me up at or sometime not too long after 5am, and i just lay there until about 6am or so and then give up, because even though i'm tired, i feel like i can't get back to sleep, and i had so much fun being tired monday night that i got up again this morning looking forward to the same effect tonight. i was worried that my rogue nap might've caught me up on some of the sleep i've been depriven of. deprived, depraven, depraved? those are some fun words, huh. not the case. it was one of those naps that make you tired, so like, hey, bonus right? all right.
i put on funeral, and all hail west texas. funeral cuz that wild things preview just makes me happy. is that one of those things other people know about way before i do? it's become kind of an automatic assumation process for me. it's like that GSY!BE sound bite, and the preacher man say that the end of the world is coming, but that's what the preacher man say, and i don't go by what he say. hhmmm. i'm sensing a breakdown in communication here. keep moving.
all hail west texas. i realized i hadn't heard a mountain goats song (cept my voice) in at least over a year, and so now i got the discography, and that's fun. i'm probably only gonna listen to a handful of albums from it, but those few i do hear will be heard very loud, and ok, clear.
my mind isn't even wandering right now. it's doing like the film on the surface of a glass of chocolate milk, when it's got just a little too much chocolate powder stirred into it.
i need to make a list, and just to be nerd about it, i think i'm gonna make it in vi. but i'm not really gonna make it anytime soon. at least not tonight. i've got way too much downloaded television to watch. aw hell, 'sides mr. brain don' wanna.
waking life. so i didn't(don't) have a job, which meant cutbacks, which meant being sober which meant an audible shift in my dreaming. i've heard some people don't dream much when they smoke, and i've heard the opposite, but it's always been a constant for me, and it's always been in living color. nevertheless, my awareness and retention ebbs and flows. think moon, and then think tides, and then think the next thought. so i had stopped smoking which maybe caused my dreamemory to wax nigh photographic. and even though no one wants to hear what you dreamt about unless you dreamt about them, i sit in the quiet of the after dinner table for two and report on the life of dreams past. in particular those i've been lucky (or just crazy) enough to have that were lucid in nature. the more i talk about it, which honestly wasn't that much, the more i realize this is yet something else again that i and i alone am going to be fascinated with. my philosophically flavored existential funk threatens once again to spin randomly out of control unless exorcised, so i feed the head a movie. waking life. it'd been years and years and years and maybe one or two more years since i'd since it for the first and only time, but i got so much more out of it. thinking about it now, it was a dynamic i'd heard recounted many times in church, but never experienced before in that capacity. the other freaks talk about how every time they study their books, the words don't change, but they'll notice something different or come to a deeper understanding of a concept, or an entirely new viewpoint. i'm thinking i'll just watch the waking life again in another six or seven years. if we're still here.
then i watched before sunrise for the first time. what the fuck? but not like, a negatively toned what the fuck. just what the fuck? i felt like i was watching a spinoff of a show, created entirely from one scene, removed. only the spinoff was made six years prior, and was in fact, only to be later summarized quite beautifully. oh wow. maybe i'm really richard linklater in another life.
okay. so. nap time. new sleep cycle patterns. old music anew, some entirely vague ramblings. old music again, again. where my mind is. an all encompassingly wholesome and hopeless endeavor, intended. the church of waking life, and it's preordained apostle.
some arise, summer eyes. summary...
summer easier?
feels like.
coming home from class, i just kept pedaling past our house, in the middle of the street. it was a gray and sparkly wet world woken up to this morning, but now the blue was barely clouded by comparison. tired as i was, it felt good.
still does.