(no subject)
This summer is going too fast for its own good. All of this time is passing and I don't feel like I'm doing or accomplishing anything. Since school has ended I have been getting more and more hours, and more and more closing shifts till 12-1 in the morning. One of the many reasons I finally had the balls to put my two weeks in. Tonight I was all set to tell my manager that I was done. And then all of a sudden another manager asks me about my pay, which we had spoken about a few weeks prior, and of course it leads to a big ordeal. For the amount of time I have been at this place, I am not getting paid nearly enough, especially when new people are constantly being hired at a dollar or two more than me. When I tell him that I was going to put in my two weeks, he decides to offer me a bit more money, and is willing to be flexible with some of my concerns about on calls, closings, and yada yada yada because I am "too valuable of an employee to let walk away, and he will fight for me." He knows I'm passive, and tells me I need to speak up for myself or I am going to be walked all over for the rest of my life, yet as he says this, he is in fact bullying me. So after he basically talked me into staying for more money, he tells me he needs a commitment until none other than christmas. Christmas, or I won't get a raise. Altermadems, Lovely. I could easily lie and say yeah I'll stay till Christmas, now give me the raise, and quit later on, but my morals lead me away from that. He told me could think about it till Monday, and I don't know why I was dumb enough to agree. I am getting the hell out of there.
As for being passive, it doesn't only kick me in the ass at work. Seems when people find a weakness, they really like to take advantage, even if they are friends. I know I'm a forgiving person and sometimes it comes to easily. It has even come to the point where my dad is making comments on how fast and what I forgive. Don't mistake that for forgetting. I feel like several people I have considered friends will do things, knowing I will forgive them later on. I'm so tired of it. I don't speak up when I know I should. I let things go, when I probably shouldn't, only because there is no sense in picking a fight over something so little. But somehow, something gets started either way.
Another thing I'm starting to notice more and more is people being shady. I can't stand it anymore. If someone calls you to hang out and you have plans already or just don't want to, tell them that. Don't not pick up, or listen to the message and never call them back. If you tell someone you're going to go out with them, don't call at the last minute and change your mind for no apparent reason. Don't make up stupid excuses either. Chances are, if you're a real friend, you'll accept the fact that they don't want to go for whatever the reason. It looks kind of stupid when you say no I can't go out, and five minutes later you go out with someone else. But hey, if someones going to continously do that to you, I guess you don't really need them in your life.
Why am I so easy to lie to. Why does it seem that there is a constant battle between two people and I always find myself in the middle of it, for no reason. When things get good with one person, they go sour with the other and it's completely out of my control. I'm past the point of even trying to make things better because I know exactly where it's going to end up, and thats right back where it started. Sometimes things, or people, are just not worth stressing out over, and I guess I'm just learning that now. If it's that easy for you to stop talking to me for whatever you feel I did this week, I guess I can learn to live without you. All I do is try to avoid the problems, but apparently that causes even more. I can't seem to win.
I wish I was going away to school to get away from all this petty garbage, but it has actually made me kind of excited to start St. Joe's. Look at that! I'm an optomist ;)
Besides all of thaaaaat, Harry Potter came out tonight! I was going to go to Borders at midnight to pick it up, but I can wait until tomorrow I suppose. I keep finding myself in these random places surrounded by people I wouldn't normally talk to. It was a pleasant surprise to see a couple of decent people just looking for some good conversation haha. By the way, I think you should see 1408, I really liked it. And maybe License To Wed. I went to Davis Park last week for a couple of days, and I'm still paying for the not wearing sunblock thing. But it was nice to spend some time with my cousins. Don't get to see them as much as I would like anymore. My cousin Brendan and his wife had a baby about 7 weeks ago and I finally got to meet "Baby Gus" as my cousin's graduation party. He is the smallest, most precious thing I have ever seen. It's scary to think how fast time has gone by.
But okay, I'll stop rambling now. Have a nice summer :)