(no subject)
I havent written in what feels like forever. Yeah woops. I keep forgetting about it. But ill make sure I get to it. Theres a lot I wanna say and its kinda hard. I dont want to be judged or anything. I have latly been fighting with my ex-boyfriend Mike. Hes a jackass. yea whats new usually almost everyone im with is tho. so im used to it. But he got mad at me because I broke up with him. and I did because feelings for him have changed...very much and i just couldnt be with him when i didnt feel like i should be. I also have feelings for cooper still. Well he ended up sendin me two text messages i think the next day or so saying "fucking dyke" and "suck my dick you cunt" and before then we wernt even really fightin that bad so i dont know why he decided to do that, well i completly was mad and sad about it i didnt know whether to cry or hit someone. and i didnt do either i mean i even tryed to ignore him but then one of my friends told me to talk to him and work it out but i didnt see a reason to since i really wanted to be done with him at that time. if you forgive someone for saying something like that to you then something must be wrong with you. and i still havent forgave him and this was almost like 2 weeks ago. well when i unblocked him he tryed making it my fault that we were fighting and i told him that i was sorry for what happened before hand and that i didnt mean to hurt him but i guess he didnt believe me. well i told cooper that night and she got really mad and wanted to kick his ass the next day at lunch but me and brittani stoped her even tho nicole was trying to help her find him. well i didnt help for sayin what lunch he was in.
Well after that like he really hasnt done much after. but said that he would fight her outside of school. even tho i wont let that happen i think well you know what after all hes said about me to my friends and everything maybe he needs to have something done to him so he knows he shouldnt be talkin to ppl or about ppl like that. since thats really not nice i even wouldnt do that about someone and ppl think im mean. well besides him. ive been talkin to cooper like almost every night and with her i know i like her. im not sure if she likes me back. sometimes i think she does its just like really confusing and i dont know what to do about it. and sometimes i just think i should stop trying but then i just cant bring myself to cause i know i love her so much and i dont want to let her go ever. i know that i didnt feel this much for her like when i was with her. i know i did care a lot for her but this time even tho we arnt together i feel stronger.
but atleast shes talkin to me. i was afraid she was gonna ignore me, since we broke up. and that would've hurt so bad. she just dosent understand. and i dont know how to make her or let her know. its so hard to do. she keeps trying to block it out. like she dosent want to believe me.
uhmm other wise nothings really going on. im at my aunts place. so thats cool but i think im leaving soon, and i cant wait till tonight when cooper calls me...shhh.{i only put that cause i know shes gonna read this} heehee