(no subject)
Meme: List five or more of your fictional crushes, and then list five reasons why it wouldn't work out in real life.
(I'm doing my best to spread this out a bit fandom-wise even though I'm currently wifing pretty much everyone in DCU right now. And actually, why wouldn't a relationship with the Flash work out? Fuck you, meme, for denying me that.)
Superman (MAYBE I LIED A LITTLE WHEN I SAID MY LOVE FOR HIM WAS PLATONIC IN MY LAST POST)
-Costume silly in real life; always heading off on suicide missions; couldn't wear fancy kryptonite jewellery without accidentally murdering him. My death probable during the act of supersex, alas.
Rawdon Crawley
-Gambles all day; no work ethic; died of yellow fever in the nineteenth century; probably had the syph as well, come to think of it.
Dexter Morgan
-No desire to be presented with bleeding corpses as gifts as can't even deal with dead birds the cat brings in; mother would never let me hear end of it if he was caught and went to jail. Also, his breakfast would gross me out every morning. D:
Bruce Patman
-Only lovable when crying like a little girl; constant fear that he'd slipped something in my drink; looks scarily like John Barrowman; probably wouldn't let me drive 1bruce1 anyway.
Gaston
-Would want to name all the kids Gaston or Gastonia; overwhelming pressure to serve up five dozen eggs each day; suspect would turn out to be epically gay for the Beast.
I couldn't think of five reasons. D:
(I'm doing my best to spread this out a bit fandom-wise even though I'm currently wifing pretty much everyone in DCU right now. And actually, why wouldn't a relationship with the Flash work out? Fuck you, meme, for denying me that.)
Superman (MAYBE I LIED A LITTLE WHEN I SAID MY LOVE FOR HIM WAS PLATONIC IN MY LAST POST)
-Costume silly in real life; always heading off on suicide missions; couldn't wear fancy kryptonite jewellery without accidentally murdering him. My death probable during the act of supersex, alas.
Rawdon Crawley
-Gambles all day; no work ethic; died of yellow fever in the nineteenth century; probably had the syph as well, come to think of it.
Dexter Morgan
-No desire to be presented with bleeding corpses as gifts as can't even deal with dead birds the cat brings in; mother would never let me hear end of it if he was caught and went to jail. Also, his breakfast would gross me out every morning. D:
Bruce Patman
-Only lovable when crying like a little girl; constant fear that he'd slipped something in my drink; looks scarily like John Barrowman; probably wouldn't let me drive 1bruce1 anyway.
Gaston
-Would want to name all the kids Gaston or Gastonia; overwhelming pressure to serve up five dozen eggs each day; suspect would turn out to be epically gay for the Beast.
I couldn't think of five reasons. D: