sO you kissed me on the forehead, and told me not to worry, nOthings going to change..
so its pretty much a slap in the face. when it hits you all over again for the seventy millionth time , that youre in love with him. completely.i realy dont know what to do with myself anymore. you realize that despite the fact that he's your best friend in the whole entire world, you are truly , you love him more than you thought you knew how. i mean okay, ive known the kid since we were like 10.. we've been best friends since we were like 12.. he knows me better than i know myself, he can read me like the pages of a book. i tell him everything.. he tells me.. well most things. he's had girlfriends, ive had a few boyfriends since we've been best friends. and i dont know. ive gotten past the fact that i love him, many times, because its just something i have to do.. and it always comes back to slap me across the face. and it never goes away. its been almost 5 years. and it just wont go away.. and i dont know how to feel anymore. cause somedays i just wish it would go away.. i really dont know what to do wiht myself right now. im a mess. like honestly.. as i grow up.. im starting to realize that.. thers no one else like him. and.. i tned to compare other people to him. and how i feel about him. and no one else comes close. nothing comes close to the way he makes me feel. and it frusterates the hell out of me. to the point where i was in tears the other day. and he frusterates me.. cause all he can do is look me in the eyes.. kiss me on the forehead.. pull me close and tell me that everythings gonna be okay.. and that we're never going to change, cause we're us.. we'll always be how we are. what if im sick of how we are. what if i want more than what we are. does that matter. what if im too scared to come out adn say that i want more than what we are. because that makes me vulnerable. that leaves you to hurt me...and i dont even want that to be a possiblity cause youre the only person in the world i feel safe with in that sense.
really, what am i gonna do with myself.bahhhh.. honestly all i could think yesterday when i came home was, damn. im in love with that boy.always have been alwyas will be. like i said yesterday. what are we doing here. why are we the way we are. and your answer back. like usual was.. "we're us, dani, we're fucked. thats just how we are".. we'll always be that way... to which i answered. im sick of being that way. ughhh i miss you. i really do. i miss the way we used to be..
really, what am i gonna do with myself.bahhhh.. honestly all i could think yesterday when i came home was, damn. im in love with that boy.always have been alwyas will be. like i said yesterday. what are we doing here. why are we the way we are. and your answer back. like usual was.. "we're us, dani, we're fucked. thats just how we are".. we'll always be that way... to which i answered. im sick of being that way. ughhh i miss you. i really do. i miss the way we used to be..