my blurry vision saw nothing wrong
I held her tight and in between whispering sweet nothings in my ear, she kept kissing me every where on my face, but not my mouth. It was obvious what was going on between us to our circle of friends, who all stood around talking and smoking cigarettes while my cousin and I tried to say our goodbyes (which was to no avail, seeing as how I leaned against the wall of the building with her in my arms and our eyes closed). With our fingers interlocked and our bodies pressed up against each other, the smell of jug wine heavily on our breath, I tried to kiss her. She quickly turned her head, so I tried again with the same result. I whispered in her ear, so as no one could hear, 'don't avoid me.' She responded that she wasn't, so I tried again. Realizing that she was too drunk and I was drunk and high, but more drunk than high, I said 'I'm not going to kiss you now, but I'm going to kiss you later.' With that, my cousin and I left Union Square, taking the 4 up to 59th street where we waited for a train bound for Astoria. After minutes of waiting, we climbed to the street and took a cab.
Our cab driver was very nice. The entire ride over the Queensboro bridge, I thought about her. Did she not want to kiss me because I was too scruffy? Was she taken by another man? I left my thoughts being optimistic -- telling myself that I'm going to win her over. So my cousin and I planned on celebrating. I don't remember how much the cab fare was, but because the driver was such a swell guy, I over-tipped. We went to a pizza place that was open late and ate old pizza before heading into a pub named after our mothers' maiden name. The entire time I feigned conversation with my cousin. I still had her on my mind.
The bar was dark, small, and under-packed for a Saturday night. Exactly how I wanted it to be. We sat at the bar and my cousin ordered two Guinnesses and I rolled a couple of cigarettes. We sat and smoked and drank and I talked about playing pool. Pool would be good, I thought to myself and the more my cousin declined the more I knew I could beat him. I have a horrible track record of failing in things against my older of kin. I could never beat my father in chess, my brother in basketball, or my cousin in winning hearts. Despite all my attempts throughout my life, I always lost. After a second round, we played a game and he won after I scratched on the eight ball. Another beer and game later, I finally beat him. I was too drunk to gloat over my win, probably because he challenged me to another game. We ordered another round and a shot of whiskey, and he beat me again. Neither of us remember the walk home.
We awoke the next morning much later than expected. My cousin made tea and we sat on his balcony drinking tea and putting together the puzzle pieces of last night. He claimed she was being affectionate with him too -- but I knew it was nothing. They didn't have their fingers interlocked and she didn't kiss him the way she kissed me. What I didn't know was that while he was in the bathroom "throwing up jug wine," she was there with him.
Our cab driver was very nice. The entire ride over the Queensboro bridge, I thought about her. Did she not want to kiss me because I was too scruffy? Was she taken by another man? I left my thoughts being optimistic -- telling myself that I'm going to win her over. So my cousin and I planned on celebrating. I don't remember how much the cab fare was, but because the driver was such a swell guy, I over-tipped. We went to a pizza place that was open late and ate old pizza before heading into a pub named after our mothers' maiden name. The entire time I feigned conversation with my cousin. I still had her on my mind.
The bar was dark, small, and under-packed for a Saturday night. Exactly how I wanted it to be. We sat at the bar and my cousin ordered two Guinnesses and I rolled a couple of cigarettes. We sat and smoked and drank and I talked about playing pool. Pool would be good, I thought to myself and the more my cousin declined the more I knew I could beat him. I have a horrible track record of failing in things against my older of kin. I could never beat my father in chess, my brother in basketball, or my cousin in winning hearts. Despite all my attempts throughout my life, I always lost. After a second round, we played a game and he won after I scratched on the eight ball. Another beer and game later, I finally beat him. I was too drunk to gloat over my win, probably because he challenged me to another game. We ordered another round and a shot of whiskey, and he beat me again. Neither of us remember the walk home.
We awoke the next morning much later than expected. My cousin made tea and we sat on his balcony drinking tea and putting together the puzzle pieces of last night. He claimed she was being affectionate with him too -- but I knew it was nothing. They didn't have their fingers interlocked and she didn't kiss him the way she kissed me. What I didn't know was that while he was in the bathroom "throwing up jug wine," she was there with him.