I am what you'd call ... an uber-bitch.
I give Jay a run for his money, goddamn seriously.
So there's this kid. He used to be my best friend. We started talking on this bus ride home from a volleyball game freshman year. That summer, we started e-mailing each other. Sophomore year, we started talking on the phone. The summer after that, I hung out with him at the St. Anne's feast. Junior year, we went on Emmaus together.
And that's where our friendship started going downhill. On Emmaus, I connected with him, but after that, it's like someone just put a wall up between us. Suddenly, he didn't call as often. Inexplicably, I got annoyed with his idiosyncrasies. He grew his hair and sat on a wall reading a book as the snow came down and blanketed his hair and shoulders. I started planning my life goals and looking at colleges. He dreamed of his future hippie-style apartment. I dreamed of the moment when I'd be in front of my first class at Prep as a teacher instead of a student. He got weird. I got weird. But we got weird in totally different ways, so much so that I started to get weirded out.
Then a few weeks ago, he got AIM, my single most effective tool in communication. Therefore, it's a place where you can make me laugh, make me cry, piss me off, or do something that I'm apathetic to. He seemed to think that the third one was the best way to go, so, that's exactly what he did - pissed me off by doing something extremely stupid. He has a sister, and they shared the sn, so I had no way of knowing who was I/Ming me. Plus, he could have relatives over or whatever, so when someone on his sn I/Med me and said, "Oh, I'm not [insert name here], guess who I am!" for TWO MOTHERFUCKING HOURS, I got rather irate and started cursing.
Despite his status as my best friend, before this conversation, he'd never seen me curse. He'd never seen me angry. Hell, he'd never seen me even slightly miffed. But the wall between us finally coming down got replaced by my throwing knives at him. I was SO pissed that day, and his idiotic badgering didn't help any. So, then, afterwards, maybe a week ago, I told him that I was very angry because he pissed me off and he didn't have the decency to apologize. So, he gave me some stupid "Oh, then I'm sorry :-D (complete with smiley)." So then I went on invisible until he signed off. For the entire conversation we had yesterday, I one-line-answered him, hoping he'd go away.
He kept the conversation up for two hours. How? I honestly don't know.
Now, there are some of you who definitely think I'm at fault. There are some who may think he's at fault. And here's where the bitch factor comes in - I find that I actually don't really care. He used to be my best friend, but we grew apart. He didn't do anything about it, and I didn't do anything about it; things like that just happen. Then, he was being stupid and never realized that all it would take is a sincere apology for me to forgive him, so it's like insult added to injury. Did he ever really know me? Does he know how emotional I am? Does he know how fragile I can be? Is he really that naive to think that I enjoy being toyed around with for hours?
Case in point, we're not best friends anymore. But this is the first time when I've been the one who's gotten pissed instead of the other way around. It may sound horrible to say this (here's where the bitch factor makes another appearance), but I'm glad I'm on this side of the fence. I have no reason to apologize - it's all up to him.
So there's this kid. He used to be my best friend. We started talking on this bus ride home from a volleyball game freshman year. That summer, we started e-mailing each other. Sophomore year, we started talking on the phone. The summer after that, I hung out with him at the St. Anne's feast. Junior year, we went on Emmaus together.
And that's where our friendship started going downhill. On Emmaus, I connected with him, but after that, it's like someone just put a wall up between us. Suddenly, he didn't call as often. Inexplicably, I got annoyed with his idiosyncrasies. He grew his hair and sat on a wall reading a book as the snow came down and blanketed his hair and shoulders. I started planning my life goals and looking at colleges. He dreamed of his future hippie-style apartment. I dreamed of the moment when I'd be in front of my first class at Prep as a teacher instead of a student. He got weird. I got weird. But we got weird in totally different ways, so much so that I started to get weirded out.
Then a few weeks ago, he got AIM, my single most effective tool in communication. Therefore, it's a place where you can make me laugh, make me cry, piss me off, or do something that I'm apathetic to. He seemed to think that the third one was the best way to go, so, that's exactly what he did - pissed me off by doing something extremely stupid. He has a sister, and they shared the sn, so I had no way of knowing who was I/Ming me. Plus, he could have relatives over or whatever, so when someone on his sn I/Med me and said, "Oh, I'm not [insert name here], guess who I am!" for TWO MOTHERFUCKING HOURS, I got rather irate and started cursing.
Despite his status as my best friend, before this conversation, he'd never seen me curse. He'd never seen me angry. Hell, he'd never seen me even slightly miffed. But the wall between us finally coming down got replaced by my throwing knives at him. I was SO pissed that day, and his idiotic badgering didn't help any. So, then, afterwards, maybe a week ago, I told him that I was very angry because he pissed me off and he didn't have the decency to apologize. So, he gave me some stupid "Oh, then I'm sorry :-D (complete with smiley)." So then I went on invisible until he signed off. For the entire conversation we had yesterday, I one-line-answered him, hoping he'd go away.
He kept the conversation up for two hours. How? I honestly don't know.
Now, there are some of you who definitely think I'm at fault. There are some who may think he's at fault. And here's where the bitch factor comes in - I find that I actually don't really care. He used to be my best friend, but we grew apart. He didn't do anything about it, and I didn't do anything about it; things like that just happen. Then, he was being stupid and never realized that all it would take is a sincere apology for me to forgive him, so it's like insult added to injury. Did he ever really know me? Does he know how emotional I am? Does he know how fragile I can be? Is he really that naive to think that I enjoy being toyed around with for hours?
Case in point, we're not best friends anymore. But this is the first time when I've been the one who's gotten pissed instead of the other way around. It may sound horrible to say this (here's where the bitch factor makes another appearance), but I'm glad I'm on this side of the fence. I have no reason to apologize - it's all up to him.