Getting dumber by the minute...
Seriously, I need to find better ways of spending my long weekend. Hours of youtbe, fmylike, failbook and the like should NOT be an option. Specially when I should be studying for a final I got in 2 weeks time (I'm almost doe with the reading, just 3 chapters left, but they happen to be the most unattractive chapters ever! If you ever have sleeping problems, try reading an essay on abstract art...which btw has no pictures:P). And I'm committed to a group curatorial project which is supposed to be important to my future career...I mean, if I'm so interest in it, then why can't I find the will power to do the stuff I should be doing? The lack of help/communication of my partner (who's currently on holidays, leaving me on my own in the middle of production stage...don't blame her, she's entitled to have vacations whenever she wants, but that's just one case of really bad timing!) doesn't help either, but it's not lack it's her fault...I just suck at decision-making, and I feel I'm not prepared enough (even if this is my last year at college!) to carry out all this by myself, for the project involves presenting an instalation/performeance at a very important Cultural Center (within our art circuit, of course), and being this my first experience as a proto-curator, I'm afraid I'll screw it big time. I'm panicking, and the fright is paralyzing!
On the other hand, there's my new job, who's already giving me mixed feelings (and I haven't even worked for a whole week!). On the plus side, I'm still working on sth conected to my course of studies, and I'm getting a steady 5-hours-a-day job, with health insurance, paid holidays and- best of all- no working on the weekends. The place I'm working for is a non-profit society in charge of protecting the artists' copyright, and of hanndling the copyright licenses of their members. What I don't really like is that, being a defender of copyleft and creative commons, I'm (partly) in charge of doing the dirty job of finding people who are making an illegal use of art images, and collecting "the evidence". I know, if I'm so against this I shouldn't have taken the job in the first place, right? Well, I guess I was just too tempted by the steady job thing and the better payment, something really hard to find when you study art history. And when I read the job description, I honestly pictures something completely different- I never thought I'd be using spy gadgets! So now I'm oscillating between trying to convince myself I'm doing the right thing ("I mean, there are many guys making profit with merchandising that has no license whatsoever! Poor artsts!") and feeling like an informant, which is awful (specially when your family can't stop making fun of it¬¬). The worst part of it is that after doing a lot of thinking, I've come to the conclusion that having values in this case would be too inconvenient, as it would mean quitting and returning to the Cloisters Museum (which sounds like a defeat, speacially when I've already found to replacements for me and other co-workers who are leaving as well...and it would be also going back many steps in terms of work quality), and the most reasonable thing to do would be to suck it up, for I've found a nice place to work, leaving my ideology aside...fuck, that sounds terrible, but life right now is no place to be heroic...sad but true:/
(God, when was it that I time travelled? I feel like I'm sixteen again! Could I be more of an emo and vent a little bit more when I have nothing really substancial to complain about??? You guys are so excused if you decide not to read/comment this entry, it came out lamer than expected...I'm not even re-reading it, makes me sick...)
On the other hand, there's my new job, who's already giving me mixed feelings (and I haven't even worked for a whole week!). On the plus side, I'm still working on sth conected to my course of studies, and I'm getting a steady 5-hours-a-day job, with health insurance, paid holidays and- best of all- no working on the weekends. The place I'm working for is a non-profit society in charge of protecting the artists' copyright, and of hanndling the copyright licenses of their members. What I don't really like is that, being a defender of copyleft and creative commons, I'm (partly) in charge of doing the dirty job of finding people who are making an illegal use of art images, and collecting "the evidence". I know, if I'm so against this I shouldn't have taken the job in the first place, right? Well, I guess I was just too tempted by the steady job thing and the better payment, something really hard to find when you study art history. And when I read the job description, I honestly pictures something completely different- I never thought I'd be using spy gadgets! So now I'm oscillating between trying to convince myself I'm doing the right thing ("I mean, there are many guys making profit with merchandising that has no license whatsoever! Poor artsts!") and feeling like an informant, which is awful (specially when your family can't stop making fun of it¬¬). The worst part of it is that after doing a lot of thinking, I've come to the conclusion that having values in this case would be too inconvenient, as it would mean quitting and returning to the Cloisters Museum (which sounds like a defeat, speacially when I've already found to replacements for me and other co-workers who are leaving as well...and it would be also going back many steps in terms of work quality), and the most reasonable thing to do would be to suck it up, for I've found a nice place to work, leaving my ideology aside...fuck, that sounds terrible, but life right now is no place to be heroic...sad but true:/
(God, when was it that I time travelled? I feel like I'm sixteen again! Could I be more of an emo and vent a little bit more when I have nothing really substancial to complain about??? You guys are so excused if you decide not to read/comment this entry, it came out lamer than expected...I'm not even re-reading it, makes me sick...)