Title: Ode to the Sun
Rating: G
Warnings: G is for Gen
Prompt: Crossover: Digital Devil Saga/Persona 3 - Ryoji/Seraph - hurt/comfort - beginnings and endings.
Word count: 829
Done for this November's
Kinkfest at IJ -----
He had wanted to die for real, back then.
That night his life was spared had came to be more than a bit of a disappointment. The others didn’t know how it had felt, how much he feared for them and for himself. Didn’t know how much of a burden was his human heart once it started beating inside Nyx’s body. It created a dissonance, his mind just half-mingled with that of the Great Mother, totally not as it had to be. It felt more like sharing an awkward body, artificial and unstable. It meant his consciousness was still there when the final day came, his hopes and desires and the panic.
(And well, he never really liked this Appraiser business.)
Nyx was supposed to be an unstoppable entity, giver of the serenity and comfort of death, and all that stuff. Pretty hard to do when one was scared shitless, and didn’t want to fulfill what conformed their very essence. In the end, She had been vulnerable because of him, and he had been glad, because watching his friends fight this senseless battle had hurt so much.
Their shared body was weakened by the battle enough to be unable to hold them together. It was painful, and he was suddenly having to struggle to stay awake there until the very end, but it seemed like they had won the first round, and that reassured him enough to let go. He gave a last glance to SEES, gaze lingering in their leader’s face for a second or two, and his conscience faded.
There was darkness.
Really, a bit cliché, but what had he thought? Nyx had been Mother Night, after all. He could see what seemed like dim stars far away, but it was mostly black space surrounding him, velvety soft against him and entangling like the shadow of Delirium. There was darkness, and warmth, and shouldn’t he feel different now? As in, not feeling anything at all?
Gaining some inner peace would’ve been nice too, yeah. Some numbness. He felt pain all over him, and he wasn’t sure it was because he still felt the wounds over his metaphorical skin. It ached ‘till his very bones. He started panicking again when he realized this was what it meant death for him, who was Death incarnate: To retreat inside of himself. He was supposed to spend eternity alone here, hoping to dissolve.
He wanted to be a Shadow again.
Someone else’s presence brushed his insistently, powerful and soothing enough to make him notice it. He turned around, searching for its source.
There was someone in front of him, neither male nor female (like he should have been after the transformation, perfect and whole, and not a hint of his human despair.) The sudden knowledge that Sie had been waiting for him there hit him like a stone, like the realization that Sie was beautiful.
“Pearl of the sacred lotus”, he said, because that felt like the right thing to do in Hir presence. Words that came from outside his mindset, outside his own system of beliefs.
Sie smiled.
“Hi”, Sie said, simple and gentle. Nothing of the Appraiser crap in her greeting, no titles. “How are you, Ryoji?”
It wasn’t cold there in the nothingness, but Ryoji shivered when he heard that name nevertheless, just a little bit. It had been a while since anybody had called him that.
(Minato had been the last one.)
Yes, that was his name. He had chosen it himself, too, before everything started.
“I'm fine now” He said, half-joking and almost flirting like before. “Though I could do better.”
“I am glad.” Sie murmured softly, holding out Hir hand for him to take it. Ryoji closed the distance between them, but didn't touch Hir.
“Wait. What about him?” He asked then, hoping for Sie to know who was he talking about. “He was going to duel Nyx. Shouldn't he be here too?”
(Shouldn't he be dead too?)
“Ah,” Sie said. “ I'm afraid he's not free to wander, yet. His soul is tied to that world.”
“Forever?” The question escaped him before he could measure how much he feared the answer.
“He'll have help. That, I can promise.”
Ryoji nodded, sadness creeping over him again. Minato had been his other half, the one who gave him a human heart. That wasn't fair. Wasn't fair at all.
He took Hir hand, and Sie surprised him with an embrace. Seraph, he thought. Hir name is Seraph.
“It'll be alright. Everything will be alright.” Seraph said, caressing his hair, and despite every doubt that had assaulted him since remembering his true nature, Ryoji was able to believe that. A bit of hope didn't hurt, he thought, and clung to Seraph, relaxing under Hir fingers:
“I guess, in the meanwhile...” He started, and stopped there, because he didn't knew what was next.
“Don't worry. There are universes out there to see.” Seraph completed for him, and Ryoji smiled.
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This is unbeta'ed, I'm sorry if there were any mistakes. I was already two days late to post this >: