Transcript of upcoming Stargate Big Finish audio book preview "Excision"
Thanks to spacegypsy1 in her post on December 14, I downloaded the Big Finish podcast to hear & transcribe the 20-minute preview of the hour-long audio book "Excision" written by Peter J. Evans, featuring the vocal talents of:Michael Shanks as Daniel Jackson
Claudia Black as Vala Mal Doran
Andrew Collins as Keto
Andrew Whipp as Zoder
Regina Reagan as Wellan
Don't look too closely at the cover art if you don't wanna be spoiled!
TRANSCRIPTION starting at :53
First up, it's Stargate starring Michael Shanks and Claudia Black. I know!
And if you haven't had a listen to the Big Finish Stargate productions, here's your chance to start. Then have a look at BigFinish.com to find out what other Stargate releases there are. There are quite a few.
If you are already an ardent Big Finish Stargate follower, then this is your chance to catch a sizable taster of the latest installment.
It's called Excision and this is what it's all about:
A visit to Vala's friend Keto turns into a family reunion when she and Daniel are abducted by Vala's former associate Zoder and the crew of his ship the Capital Venture. Zoder has discovered a vast construct in space and plans to strip it of any assets it may contain -- but he needs Daniel & Vala's expertise to complete the mission safely. Unfortunately, the group is about to stumble upon a secret which someone is murderously keen to keep quiet. (Oh yes, that's my son screaming in the background, don't know whether you can hear that.) Join me straight after Stargate for Doctor Who "1001 Nights" and some important "No, It's Central News!" about free subscriber specials and Christmas podcasts.
[2:20 Timpani drumroll, clank! whoosh, wind whistling, metal door sliding opening, footsteps on metal floor]
[2:41]
VALA: (shivering) Uagh, it's freezing out there.
DANIEL: Aw stop griping, it's not that bad.
VALA: Not that bad? Not that bad? Daniel, we've just walked through a blizzard. I've got frostbite. Have I got frostbite? Look at my nose. Look at my nose!
DANIEL: You're fine. C'mon, don't be a baby, we're looking for a minute, two at the most.
VALA: Which would be all right if we could just get inside and warm up, not stand around freezing in this air lock.
DANIEL: Heat lock. It's like an air lock but for--
VALA: Yes, Daniel, I know what it is. I'm gonna kill Keto. I swear. Why didn't he warn us the space would be on a glacier?
DANIEL: He said he found something buried in the ice. I thought the word 'ice' would've given you a clue. Anyway, you're the one who badgered me into this.
VALA: Oh all right, I admit it; I might have let my enthusiasm get the better of me. A bit. But you heard what Keto said: There's a ZPM on this, this horrible little ice ball.
DANIEL: He said it MIGHT be a ZPM. And I told you: the chances of a working ZPM being buried out here were about a billion to one.
VALA: And yet here YOU are.
DANIEL: Had to be sure. Is he gonna open this inner door any time soon?
VALA: He'd better. And he'd better have soup or something, too. Not even a ZPM is worth being this cold.
DANIEL: There's a comm's panel here. [beep] Keto, it's us. We're still in the heat lock. What's the problem?
VALA: Maybe he's just… making sure?
DANIEL: Of what?
VALA: Of us. There might be other interested parties.
DANIEL: Oh great. Vala, if this is a setup--
VALA: Keto wouldn't set me up. Us up. Think of what he's done for us. If it wasn't for him, you'd still be a clone.
DANIEL: 'Scuse me?
VALA: You know what I mean. Anyway, he wouldn't dare. [beep] KETO, OPEN THIS DOOR BEFORE WE FREEZE TO DEATH.
DANIEL: Oh, I'm starting not to like this.
VALA: You know, now that you mention it, he was very insistent that we come out here as quickly as possible, wasn't he? He wouldn't even let us wait until the others got back. Ummm, you don't think it's at all possible I've made rather an awful mistake?
DANIEL: Let's get the hell outta here.
VALA: Wonderful. Back into the snow YAYYY.
DANIEL: I'll buy ya some soup as soon as we get back.
VALA: I've lost my appetite, just open the door.
DANIEL: [boop boop boop boop dee deep] Uh, okay, slight problem.
VALA: Let me try. C'mon, c'mon, you're not doing it right. [boop boop boop boop dee deep] 'Access denied.' What do you mean 'access denied'? Open up, you stupid machine. [beats on door twice, throws her shoulder against it] Won't open.
DANIEL: So we're locked in.
VALA: Yes we are. In this very, very small chamber. Is this a bad time to remind you I'm claustrophobic?
DANIEL: Vala, quit playin' around. You've opened more locked doors than anyone I uh, well, than anyone. An old heat lock shouldn't give you any trouble.
VALA: True, but normally, I'm a little more prepared.
DANIEL: When have you ever NOT been prepared to get into someone else's property?
VALA: Daniel, I'm hurt. I really am. Just for that, I shall--
[clanking of inner door opening]
DANIEL: Hey, was that the airlock?
VALA: About time. Keto, you little-- Wellan?
WELLAN: Hello, lovers. [zat, zat] Pleasant dreams. [comm bleep] Zoder, it's Wellan. We have guests.
ZODER: [through comms link] Nice work. Were there any problems?
WELLAN: Of course not. They walked in like beasts to the butcher.
6:15 [intro theme fanfare]
6:50 [monitor beeping]
VALA: [gasps] Oh no. A-aa-aaoo-oooow. My head. Oh, those damned zat guns. Mmf. Daniel. Daniel!
DANIEL: [moans]
VALA: Perfect. Wake up, will you? We're in trouble.
DANIEL: Ugh, when are we not?
VALA: Trust me, this is worse than normal.
DANIEL: Oh, damn, that hurts. Hey, what is this? Handcuffs?
VALA: Mag-lock security restraints. Wellan must've put them on us while we were unconscious.
DANIEL: Well is there any way to get them off?
VALA: Trust me when I tell you from experience: no, there isn't.
DANIEL: Oh great.
VALA: And just in case your spirits weren't quite low enough, I think we're aboard Perran Zoder's ship.
DANIEL: The Capital Venture?
VALA: Mm-hm.
DANIEL: Y'know, I was starting to think the same thing.
VALA: What gave it away? The rust, or the smell? [whispering] No, don't answer that, just lie down and close your eyes.
DANIEL: Uhh… why?
VALA: [whispering] Quickly! Pretend you're still out!
[hydraulic door sliding open]
ZODER: See Keto, quite safe. Hardly a scratch on them.
KETO: They're unconscious?
ZODER: Well of course they are. We couldn't exactly drag 'em aboard screaming and struggling, could we?
WELLAN: Zoder darling, you know I would've preferred that. Well, the screaming part, anyway.
ZODER: Heh heh, not this time, I'm afraid. This merchandise is worth far more undamaged.
WELLAN: Uh you're no fun. Anyway, they're not damaged, they're both already awake. I bet they've been listening to us since we came in. Haven't you, Vala?
[electronic chirp]
VALA: You're right, Wellan, I have. Hmm. In fact, while I have been lying here I have been playing a game. It's called 'Who Shall I Strangle First?'
WELLAN: An old favorite of mine. Who won?
VALA: I'm gonna be starting with Keto, for selling us out.
KETO: [affronted] It wasn't like that!
VALA: And then whoever strip-searched me while I was unconscious and put mag-locks on us.
WELLAN: Guilty, I'm afraid.
VALA: That's settled, then. Keto, then Wellan, then you too, Zoder, just on general principle. Now if you'll be so kind as to take these restraints off…
ZODER: I think the restraints should stay where they are. For the moment.
VALA: Spoil sport.
WELLAN: Besides, Zoder's got some really important business to discuss with you. And having to subdue you again -- while it would be fun -- would just make us late.
VALA: What makes you think I'd want to listen to anything you have to say?
ZODER: We've got guns; you haven't.
VALA: Fair point.
[electronic chiming]
WELLAN: We're nearing the breakout point. Zoder, would you join me outside for a moment?
ZODER: You know I can't refuse you. Keto, please entertain our guests and remind them what will happen if they try anything untoward. I'll be back before you know it.
WELLAN: Later, lovers. [door hydraulics] This stupid plan of yours is taking too long.
ZODER: Wellan, trust me; this is going to work.
WELLAN: I'm not so sure. Vala and Keto we can twist like wire. But that Tau'ri bone-thief is gonna be trouble, I know it. We've got one chance at this, Zoder. And I warn you: if we leave Delta Mavennis empty-handed, you'll not have me in your bed OR at your back. Not anymore. The Alliance can bleed you for all I care.
ZODER: Oh yes? And how far do you think you'll make it on your own? Remember, we're both marked. Your blood's just as sweet to them as mine.
WELLAN: So you'd better convince Jackson to join the game, hadn't you? And quickly; we're running out of time.
10:09 [transition music]
KETO: Vala, I can't apologize enough about this.
VALA: You're absolutely right. You can't. Keto, I trusted you.
KETO: See, that's one of the things I love about you: your ability to say things like that and still keep from laughing out loud.
DANIEL: Let's face it, Vala: we should've known the ZPM was bait all along.
KETO: Be fair, it was a very good story: an Ancient artifact of sizable financial worth. Pushed all the right buttons, didn't it?
VALA: You're still top of my strangulation list, y'know? This isn't helping you slip any further down.
KETO: Look, I had to send you that message. Wellan was quite clear that I'd have a very nasty accident if I didn't get you involved.
DANIEL: [skeptically] Really?
KETO: Yes, really. She told me I'd accidentally choke to death on my own liver. And coming from her, that's a very persuasive argument.
VALA: So after all we've been through, you were ready to sell me out as soon as Wellan got nasty.
KETO: I haven't sold anyone out. Zoder--
[door opens]
ZODER: Sorry for the delay. Wellan gets so anxious at times like these.
KETO: Enough games, Zoder, tell them what you told me.
VALA: Yes, Zoder, what are you playing at? You were paid for your part in the Ba'al operation, and paid well. And I thought we'd agreed not to trouble each other again after it was over.
ZODER: If only life were so simple.
VALA: It is simple: we blew up the cloning plant, you got paid, bye bye. See? Simple.
ZODER: Not according to the Lucian Alliance. Our association with you conferred a little of your, ah, 'special status' onto us, you see. In fact, Wellan and I have become noticeably less popular in these parts since that escapade of yours.
KETO: Which is quite a feat, really.
ZODER: All very well for you, Keto. You have a mountain of scrap to burrow under.
DANIEL: So what's the deal, Zoder? Some kind of revenge attack for making your life more difficult?
ZODER: Nothing so crude. It really wouldn't be in my interest to harm either of you right now. In fact there is a Lucian Alliance Second who has specifically requested that you both be delivered into his care alive and intact.
VALA: So that's what this is about? You're going to feed us to the Alliance to save your own festering skin? [huffs] I'm almost impressed.
ZODER: Thank you. However you'll be happy to learn that there is an alternative.
DANIEL: What kind of alternative?
ZODER: Ah, the kind where you don't get eviscerated by an Alliance second?
VALA: I think what he meant was, what would we need to do for you not to hand us over.
ZODER: Of course. Well it's really very simple. Wellan and I recently encountered a quite exceptional business opportunity and we are in need of a team to help us exploit it.
DANIEL: A team? Sorry, are-are you seriously suggesting that we work with you?
ZODER: I am suggesting, Doctor Jackson, that your choices are rather limited right now. You can either accept my offer of employment -- in which case we all have the chance of becoming very wealthy indeed -- or you can be sold to the Lucian Alliance. At which point I become wealthy and YOU become dead.
VALA: Well, since you put it like that, tell us more about this job offer.
DANIEL: Vala.
VALA: [whispering] Just shutup, Daniel. [to Zoder] Zoder?
ZODER: At this stage it's easy to show you rather than tell you. So if you'd like to follow me up to the bridge, we can be there when the Venture leaves hyperspace.
VALA: If you insist. What about the restraints?
ZODER: Let's leave those on for the moment, shall we? You or Doctor Jackson might be tempted to try to overpower me otherwise. And the last person who did that lost an ear.
KETO: Uh it wasn't an ear, Zoder.
ZODER: You're right, it was a head. Honestly, my memory these days.
[13:37 march music, door opens, footsteps on deck]
ZODER: And here we are. As you can see, I've made a few modifications to the Venture over the years.
VALA: You're not kidding. Never seen so many sensor feeds...
ZODER: I always like to know who might be close by. Wellan, what's our progress?
WELLAN: We're almost at the breakout point. Weapons and shields are live.
VALA: Shields?
ZODER: Merely a precautionary measure. We left a few sensor drones behind us last time and they've all been undisturbed until now. I don't think we'll run into anything untoward but it never hurts to keep a few extra eyes open.
DANIEL: So where we headed?
KETO: Delta Mavennis.
VALA: Never heard of it.
ZODER: It's not surprising; there's no one there. No colonies, no Stargate. Mavennis is a flare star, which makes its planet somewhat inhospitable. We only found it by chance.
DANIEL: Hold on. What kind of business can you do in an empty star system with an unstable sun?
WELLAN: You're a curious one, aren't you Daniel? Inquisitive. One might almost say probing. I do like that.
VALA: [firmly] Keep your eyes on the road, Wellan.
WELLAN: Believe me, Vala, you're almost at the end of yours. In fact, here we go!
[14:50 whooshing of drop from hyperspace]
[15:08 ominous music]
ZODER: And that, my friends, is what we found.
DANIEL: My god, what the hell is that?
VALA: Is that... is that some kind of asteroid?
DANIEL: No, asteroids are that shape, that's a, that's a spaceship.
VALA: Don't be ridiculous. Daniel, just look at it. It's far too big. You could fit a battle fleet into that.
KETO: It has to be an illusion. Zoder, seriously, just how long is that thing?
ZODER: The scale of it tricks the eye, I'm afraid. I know it's hard to believe, but we took detailed scans the last time we were here. It really is as huge as you think. There are mountain ranges that are smaller.
DANIEL: My god, that's just, that's just amazing.
ZODER: Yes. But is there anything about it that you recognize?
DANIEL: Me? Uh, um maybe? I don't know, I'm not sure. Uh, you see the assembly at the far end, those veins? That looks almost like Asgard technology.
KETO: That's what I was thinking. But I'm not sure about this section here, that ring of towers, those blades? That's like nothing I've ever seen before.
DANIEL: You're right, the surface structure's wrong for Asgard, it's too rough. The scale of it, even the Asgard don't build that big. Zoder, what have you found here?
ZODER: All that I can tell you is that it is very large, technologically advanced, and utterly abandoned. We intend, shall we say, to explore what possibilities it might offer us.
DANIEL: You're gonna ransack it?
ZODER: Assuming it contains anything worth ransacking, yes. At present, the Alliance has a bounty on our heads of 16 kilos of weapons-grade naquadah, or the cash equivalent. I intend for our explorations to net us a considerably greater sum.
VALA: Really? As much as that?
DANIEL: Vala, no!
VALA: Oh come on Daniel. I'm still not happy about how we got into this but Zoder might be right. That's a lot of money. I mean, just think what it could do for the SGC, our noble fight against the Ori. Even if you're wrong about it being Asgard, if it's as advanced as Zoder says, then it might have, oh I don't know, science stuff, gadgets! Wouldn't Sam be happy about that? She loves a good gadget.
DANIEL: Vala, don't tell me you're seriously considering this? I-I'm not talking about some moral high ground here either. This is, this is dangerous. That thing is as big as a moon. Now Zoder says it's abandoned, but for how long? And what if the original owners want it back? If it is the Asgard, just how badly do we want to annoy them?
VALA: [clears throat] People, if I might have a private word with Daniel for a moment?
DANIEL: Hey, hey! Urgh.
VALA: [sotto voce] Daniel, listen to me. Remember what Keto said about Wellan threatening to choke him with his own liver? Trust me, she wasn't joking. But no! You do not know these people. I wish I didn't. But I do. So we say yes please. We help them steal whatever they can lift from that thing, and we smile while we're doing it. Do you understand?
DANIEL: You're not kidding, are you?
VALA: I absolutely am not.
DANIEL: [sighs] Okay then. Under protest. But at the first sign of trouble, we get the hell out of Dodge. Right?
VALA: Certainly. Whatever you say.
DANIEL: I mean it.
VALA: [purrs] I love it when you're masterful.
DANIEL: [hisses] So. I guess we're a team.
WELLAN: Splendid. And so nice to know which of you controls the relationship.
VALA: Heh. So, now that we're all best friends forever, what's the plan?
ZODER: I think that depends very much on what we find when we get closer.
VALA: Hmm, in that case maybe I should run some scans on the way in. A nice, wide sensor sweep just in case.
DANIEL: In case of what?
VALA: In case of anything, Daniel. If there's one thing I know, it's that you should never stop looking over your shoulder.
ZODER: That might be wise, as long as you promise not to break anything.
VALA: Actually, there'd be less chance of that if we didn't have these restraints on our wrists.
ZODER: Oh very well. I have the control here. [boop boop]
[clanking]
VALA: Uhh, about time. [more beeps] Um, Zoder, did you say you'd left sensor drones here?
ZODER: Of course.
VALA: How many?
ZODER: Ten.
VALA: Oh dear. Looks like some of them might have malfunctioned. Uh well by some, of course I mean ALL. There's no returns from any of them.
DANIEL: You sure?
VAAL: I know how to count to zero. Daniel.
KETO: Uh, that's not a good sign.
ZODER: Someone must have been here before us. Vala have you detected any other vessels nearby?
VALA: No, but to be quite honest I wouldn't trust this sensor network of yours to detect its own backside with both hands. It's telling me that there should be a moon in orbit around this planet when there plainly isn't. It's flashing up big red warnings about some kind of gravitational flux, whatever that might be. Seriously Zoder, I think it's broken.
ZODER: Seeing as how you were the last one to use it…
VALA: Huh! My mistake, it's fine now.
WELLAN: We're within weapons range of the object, if anyone cares.
DANIEL: Ours or theirs?
[alarm beeps]
KETO: What's that?
DANIEL: It's picked something up. Can you magnify that area? There, right at the far end of the main cylinder, closest to the planet. Yep, that's it. That part of the cylinder is open at one end. We can fly the whole ship in there.
ZODER: Wellan, you heard the good doctor.
WELLAN: I'll loop around as soon as we get past the end. Hold onto your innards.
DANIEL: Oh, this is gonna be fun.
WELLAN: And in we go.
[zoom]
[bells & music]
And that was Stargate Excision. Tempted? Go on. It's available to order now. [20:38]
Each book in the trilogy = almost 60 minutes, so you'll be receiving 3 hours of audio drama when you place your order!