Finding Danyel
Summary: Missing Scene from ‘Unending’
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Pairing: Daniel/Vala
Spoiler: Children of the Gods, Forever in a Day, Window of Opportunity, Unending
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 921
Disclaimer: Don’t own ‘em, wish I did, you know who does, yadda, yadda, yadda
Finding Danyel
Vala woke, much to her disappointment, alone. A quick stab of worry sneaked in before she saw Daniel sitting on the wide ledge, looking at the stars. “Daniel.”
He didn’t turn. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
With a sigh, she wrapped one of the tangled sheets around her body; something told her she shouldn’t be naked for the impending conversation. Daniel was dressed again, down to his boots; she wondered if he was going to bolt before she woke. “What’s wrong, Daniel?”
“Nothing.”
“Somehow I don’t think that’s accurate. Most people don’t get dressed and sit in the dark after fabulously mind-blowing sex.” She tried to tease him out of his mood. “At least, not after sex with me.”
“I hurt your feelings.”
She didn’t even consider lying to him. “Yes. Yes, you did. On purpose. You deliberately and intentionally hurt my feelings. I suppose I should ask why.”
“Because I’m a thoughtless bastard.” His tone hadn’t changed at all.
“You can be. We can all be needlessly cruel, Daniel. It’s one of our all too human failings.”
He laughed bitterly. “Well, I’ve got plenty of those.”
“Less than you think, in my opinion. You’re a good, decent man, Daniel Jackson, even if you don’t think so.”
He turned to look at her then, his expression unreadable in the dark bedroom. “Would you say that if we hadn’t just had,” his fingers carved air, “’mind-blowing sex’?”
“Yes,” she replied without hesitation.
“I told you I was married…before…” He abruptly changed the subject.
“Yes. Sha’re. I’ve seen her photograph; she was very beautiful.”
“Yes, she was very beautiful. And smart and brave and it’s my fault she’s dead.” The complete lack of emotion in his voice scraped her nerve endings; made her want to rush to him. But she didn’t. She stayed where she was, wrapping the sheet closer in an unconscious desire for comfort.
“You said she was taken as a Goa’uld host.”
“She was taken by Apophis because of my arrogance and blind stupidity.” He exploded to his feet. “I knew! I knew the gate went other places! Jack came through the gate and told me as much and I still didn’t figure it out.” He laughed without any humor. “But I was so damned smart, so sure I was in control, I knew what I was doing. I left Sha’re in the gate room without any protection. I might as well have put a loaded gun to her head.”
“Daniel, you had no way of knowing…”
“I knew!” He interrupted. “I knew the gate should have stayed buried but I had to be right. Had to know I was right. Dammit!” He suddenly punched the wall viciously before laying his palms on the surface, resting his head on them.
“Daniel, I don’t know what to say to you. Yes, you made a mistake and it cost you terribly. But don’t you think she forgave you? If she’s the woman I think she was, I suspect she forgave you a long time ago.”
“I don’t know who I am anymore,” he whispered. “I want to be the man she fell in love with, the good man she thought I was, the kind of man she deserved. I want to be her ‘Danyel’ again.”
Vala did rise then. Trailing the sheet, she walked over, slid her arms around his waist. “We can’t go back, my darling. No matter how much we want to. You aren’t that man anymore and all the wishing in the world won’t make it so.”
“Part of me knows that and part of me would give anything in the world to be able to reset the clock. I understand Malikai now. How desperate he was to turn back time. And how ironic is it that we’re stuck here with nothing but time.”
“I have every faith in Sam. If there’s a way out of this, she’ll find it.”
“I almost wish she wouldn’t.” He confessed. “Maybe it would be better if…”
“Speak for yourself, Daniel.” She spoke briskly. “You might think the world is better off without your presence but what about me? I still have things I need to accomplish. And you cannot honestly think the SGC wouldn’t miss Sam or Teal’c or Mitchell, even if he’s gone a bit wonky. That’s what being stuck like this will do for you, I suppose.” She forced him to turn around, snaked her arms around him, smiling inside when she felt his arms finally enclose her.
“So what do we do now?”
“We could have even more mind-blowing sex. But I think what we will do is to get some more sleep.” Vala started walking him back to the bed. “I have to do an inventory with Muscles in the morning and you have to keep Mitchell from shooting himself.” She knelt and untied his boots, pulling them off.
“Vala?”
“Yes, darling?”
He leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the top of her head before falling back on the bed. “I’m not one hundred percent certain I deserve you either.”
“Don’t you worry, sweetie,” she helped him undress and tucked the covers around him snugly, kissing him gently. “I’m here to see you get everything you want. And deserve.”