Bridging the Gap - Installment II - The One
[About the update: bugger it. I'm going to stick with the real life events to avoid confusing myself.
About the paid account: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU JASON :*]
When it all comes down to the essentials of life, I think most people don't want much out of life aside from the basics. They want to have good health, a good career, make enough money to be comfortable, surround themselves with friends and family, and find that special someone to share their lives with.
I've been pretty lucky to enjoy most of these things: fortunate enough to have a career I enjoy that has secured my future financially and helped me to help aide others less fortunate, and I've made many friends along the way to add to my growing family to make up a support network for me. In regards to good health, my health record isn't exactly spotless, as I've experienced ("suffer" sounds like a bid for pity) a number of ailments including anorexia and Reiter's (reactive) arthritis. Considering I've been to the absolute limit of psychological self-destruction and reached some understanding of consuming physical pain, I'm only thankful now I've gotten to where I am today with those same people who've supported me through my illnesses.
However, I know my family and friends (including Ben and Chris) are understanding enough to know I'm not ungrateful for their tremendous support when I say my biggest support has been her.
What can I possibly say? To be perfectly honest, I had no clue whatsoever that when I met her backstage at one of silverchair's gigs both she and I would embark upon a part of our lives so intricately entwined it would be impossible to tell where one ends and the other begins. What started out as a casual attraction of like minded musicians and, (at least, on my behalf) a more-than-casual physical attraction, soon grew to something more. In her, I found someone who held the same ideals and values as I did; who understood where I was coming from, who didn't judge me in any way, and who didn't expect more of me than what I humanly am.
It's easy to grow jaded in the music business, easy to grow paranoid about the interest someone shows in you. It's very easy to be suspicious and wonder if someone is show interest in you for you or for the total album sales grossed over the last week. I confess that was exactly the road I was travelling down when I met Natalie. And maybe it's presumptuous to assume that everybody who's not in the business wouldn't understand what it's like, but at a time when I could have easily gone down rather than up, Natalie was like a breath of fresh air. I didn't have to worry if her interest was genuine, and I didn't have to worry if I was going to end up as some sort of conquest or notch for some obsessed fan.
Considering I've experienced most of my dating years in the spotlight, I've - shamefully, I admit - always doubted the motives of my girlfriends. That didn't apply with her. Natalie wasn't star struck when we first met, she didn't trip all over herself, and when she thrust her hand out to shake mine with her beautiful big smile and that easy confidence I've come to know and rely upon, I fell for her right then and there.
Our relationship just grew from there. We were fully aware that it wouldn't be easy, given our careers, but we were determined to make it work. It turned out harder than we thought it would be, and we even separated a few times to give ourselves the mental distancing we needed to get through some particularly hard times. But you can never shut off your feelings, and my yearning for her only grew as time passed more and more. I saw Chris and Ben dating various girls, but I couldn't do the same. They finally settled down with Sarah and Hayley, and I was still wishing for the other part of my being some few thousand kilometres across the ocean.
Our careers were doing so well, we lost the time to ourselves. That is, until my Reiter's struck me. As morbid as it sounds, I'm somewhat relieved that it happened, if only for the fact that it brought Natalie and I back together. silverchair was squaring up for an album release and a tour and Natalie was just slowing down from a whirlwind promotional schedule for White Lilies Island when I felt the first twinges of my Reiter's.
I lasted about a fortnight.
I lasted about a fortnight before I tearfully called her up and asked her to come to me because I couldn't take a shower without feeling like I was being beaten with stones the size of grapefruit. I'm not ashamed to admit I called my (separated) girlfriend and begged her to be with me, crying openly over the phone to her in the UK. At a time when it hurt to breathe, the only thing I knew could give me comfort would be her presence.
She flew over immediately and stayed with me the entire time. She held me when I needed it, gave me the space when I needed it, and didn't hold it against me when I cursed the entire shitty world - even encompassing her - for what was happening in my body. My knees swelled up and she rubbed salve on them. I refused to leave my bed on days when I just wished I would die to relieve the hot knives stabbing in my joints, and she gave me a reason to get up.
At a time where I couldn't bear the thought of even my own mother seeing me, I let my defences down for Natalie. She saw me at my absolute worst, reduced to a mindless mess of agony, and she gave me the strength I needed to go on. She didn't pity me, though she had empathy, sensitivity, and understanding. She kept a bright smile on her face and reminded me that life wasn't going to always be like it was for me during those long months.
And together, we did the endless rounds of therapy, tests, oxygen treatment, and physio.
When I began to recover and could actually focus my thoughts on something other than my own misery, I began to realise just how selfless she was. She'd patiently devoted her time to me regardless of the fact that our relationship had been on the back burner for some time, and she didn't resent me for becoming her complete and utter focus over the months it took me to recuperate.
Needless to say, I don't think I could have done it without her. It made me realise, too, then, what it was that drove her to put up with my punishing presence during those long months of recovery.
I knew I loved her. I loved her before then, but as most things need a catalyst to make it clear, the whole experience with my Reiter's was mine.
I proposed on Christmas Eve 2002, in front of a select few friends and family. Ñobody was aware it was going to happen, much less myself. I left it until the last moment, hesitating and second guessing myself in the weeks leading up to Christmas Eve until I felt that if nothing was going to be done then, I would find more excuses to delay later.
It was a simple affair, and to say the least, I felt intense relief when she said yes. We spent Christmas 2002, then, celebrating together with friends and family.
Our engagement was announced January 2003, just as myself and the others were about to kick off our worldwide Across the Night tour. It was a delirious time for us, especially me. I don't think I could aptly describe how I felt when my Reiter's coincided nicely with the release of Diorama. The expected tour and promotional was discarded, and there were great fears the album would suffer greatly without the promotional back up. To our surprise, Diorama lasted in the top 10 for 27 weeks while I recovered. It was only fitting that as I recovered, we would kick off a huge tour as way of thanks to the fans for their support during our forced hiatus.
So once again, Natalie and I parted for a little while, though she came to a few shows at the beginning of the tour. With most of the first part of my year dedicated to performing to make up for lost time, Natalie and I didn't have much time to organise our plans for the wedding. All we knew is that we didn't want to do a shotgun wedding with a hasty, spur of the moment feel. Rather, we wanted to savor the engagement until we found a time where we could both comfortably celebrate together without any outside pressures.
That day came on New Year's Eve, 2003. At an exclusive and quiet beach lodge near Port Douglas in Queensland, Natalie and I exchanged our vows in front of a small, private gathering of guests. The location was kept secret, and our guest list was kept down to a maximum 100 guests. I composed music for the occasion and we had a live orchestra perform during the entire evening.
Of course, Natalie looked absolutely stunning in her Lhuillier gown, while she teased me about my powder blue suit.
It couldn't have been more our style or more perfect.
I actually remember a few doubters on each of our sides claiming our relationship wouldn't last when the news we were dating first came out. How could rock and pop combine harmoniously? She was the beautiful Neighbour, and he was the angry youth of Ballroom fame.
I suppose they didn't realise that music style doesn't dictate lifestyle, and we never need judge the other by what we perform onstage. Music supercedes classification so long as it's genuine.
And the same applies to my feelings.
Happy belated first year anniversary, imbruglia. I love you. Here's to the first year in many years to come.
About the paid account: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU JASON :*]
When it all comes down to the essentials of life, I think most people don't want much out of life aside from the basics. They want to have good health, a good career, make enough money to be comfortable, surround themselves with friends and family, and find that special someone to share their lives with.
I've been pretty lucky to enjoy most of these things: fortunate enough to have a career I enjoy that has secured my future financially and helped me to help aide others less fortunate, and I've made many friends along the way to add to my growing family to make up a support network for me. In regards to good health, my health record isn't exactly spotless, as I've experienced ("suffer" sounds like a bid for pity) a number of ailments including anorexia and Reiter's (reactive) arthritis. Considering I've been to the absolute limit of psychological self-destruction and reached some understanding of consuming physical pain, I'm only thankful now I've gotten to where I am today with those same people who've supported me through my illnesses.
However, I know my family and friends (including Ben and Chris) are understanding enough to know I'm not ungrateful for their tremendous support when I say my biggest support has been her.
What can I possibly say? To be perfectly honest, I had no clue whatsoever that when I met her backstage at one of silverchair's gigs both she and I would embark upon a part of our lives so intricately entwined it would be impossible to tell where one ends and the other begins. What started out as a casual attraction of like minded musicians and, (at least, on my behalf) a more-than-casual physical attraction, soon grew to something more. In her, I found someone who held the same ideals and values as I did; who understood where I was coming from, who didn't judge me in any way, and who didn't expect more of me than what I humanly am.
It's easy to grow jaded in the music business, easy to grow paranoid about the interest someone shows in you. It's very easy to be suspicious and wonder if someone is show interest in you for you or for the total album sales grossed over the last week. I confess that was exactly the road I was travelling down when I met Natalie. And maybe it's presumptuous to assume that everybody who's not in the business wouldn't understand what it's like, but at a time when I could have easily gone down rather than up, Natalie was like a breath of fresh air. I didn't have to worry if her interest was genuine, and I didn't have to worry if I was going to end up as some sort of conquest or notch for some obsessed fan.
Considering I've experienced most of my dating years in the spotlight, I've - shamefully, I admit - always doubted the motives of my girlfriends. That didn't apply with her. Natalie wasn't star struck when we first met, she didn't trip all over herself, and when she thrust her hand out to shake mine with her beautiful big smile and that easy confidence I've come to know and rely upon, I fell for her right then and there.
Our relationship just grew from there. We were fully aware that it wouldn't be easy, given our careers, but we were determined to make it work. It turned out harder than we thought it would be, and we even separated a few times to give ourselves the mental distancing we needed to get through some particularly hard times. But you can never shut off your feelings, and my yearning for her only grew as time passed more and more. I saw Chris and Ben dating various girls, but I couldn't do the same. They finally settled down with Sarah and Hayley, and I was still wishing for the other part of my being some few thousand kilometres across the ocean.
Our careers were doing so well, we lost the time to ourselves. That is, until my Reiter's struck me. As morbid as it sounds, I'm somewhat relieved that it happened, if only for the fact that it brought Natalie and I back together. silverchair was squaring up for an album release and a tour and Natalie was just slowing down from a whirlwind promotional schedule for White Lilies Island when I felt the first twinges of my Reiter's.
I lasted about a fortnight.
I lasted about a fortnight before I tearfully called her up and asked her to come to me because I couldn't take a shower without feeling like I was being beaten with stones the size of grapefruit. I'm not ashamed to admit I called my (separated) girlfriend and begged her to be with me, crying openly over the phone to her in the UK. At a time when it hurt to breathe, the only thing I knew could give me comfort would be her presence.
She flew over immediately and stayed with me the entire time. She held me when I needed it, gave me the space when I needed it, and didn't hold it against me when I cursed the entire shitty world - even encompassing her - for what was happening in my body. My knees swelled up and she rubbed salve on them. I refused to leave my bed on days when I just wished I would die to relieve the hot knives stabbing in my joints, and she gave me a reason to get up.
At a time where I couldn't bear the thought of even my own mother seeing me, I let my defences down for Natalie. She saw me at my absolute worst, reduced to a mindless mess of agony, and she gave me the strength I needed to go on. She didn't pity me, though she had empathy, sensitivity, and understanding. She kept a bright smile on her face and reminded me that life wasn't going to always be like it was for me during those long months.
And together, we did the endless rounds of therapy, tests, oxygen treatment, and physio.
When I began to recover and could actually focus my thoughts on something other than my own misery, I began to realise just how selfless she was. She'd patiently devoted her time to me regardless of the fact that our relationship had been on the back burner for some time, and she didn't resent me for becoming her complete and utter focus over the months it took me to recuperate.
Needless to say, I don't think I could have done it without her. It made me realise, too, then, what it was that drove her to put up with my punishing presence during those long months of recovery.
I knew I loved her. I loved her before then, but as most things need a catalyst to make it clear, the whole experience with my Reiter's was mine.
I proposed on Christmas Eve 2002, in front of a select few friends and family. Ñobody was aware it was going to happen, much less myself. I left it until the last moment, hesitating and second guessing myself in the weeks leading up to Christmas Eve until I felt that if nothing was going to be done then, I would find more excuses to delay later.
It was a simple affair, and to say the least, I felt intense relief when she said yes. We spent Christmas 2002, then, celebrating together with friends and family.
Our engagement was announced January 2003, just as myself and the others were about to kick off our worldwide Across the Night tour. It was a delirious time for us, especially me. I don't think I could aptly describe how I felt when my Reiter's coincided nicely with the release of Diorama. The expected tour and promotional was discarded, and there were great fears the album would suffer greatly without the promotional back up. To our surprise, Diorama lasted in the top 10 for 27 weeks while I recovered. It was only fitting that as I recovered, we would kick off a huge tour as way of thanks to the fans for their support during our forced hiatus.
So once again, Natalie and I parted for a little while, though she came to a few shows at the beginning of the tour. With most of the first part of my year dedicated to performing to make up for lost time, Natalie and I didn't have much time to organise our plans for the wedding. All we knew is that we didn't want to do a shotgun wedding with a hasty, spur of the moment feel. Rather, we wanted to savor the engagement until we found a time where we could both comfortably celebrate together without any outside pressures.
That day came on New Year's Eve, 2003. At an exclusive and quiet beach lodge near Port Douglas in Queensland, Natalie and I exchanged our vows in front of a small, private gathering of guests. The location was kept secret, and our guest list was kept down to a maximum 100 guests. I composed music for the occasion and we had a live orchestra perform during the entire evening.
Of course, Natalie looked absolutely stunning in her Lhuillier gown, while she teased me about my powder blue suit.
It couldn't have been more our style or more perfect.
I actually remember a few doubters on each of our sides claiming our relationship wouldn't last when the news we were dating first came out. How could rock and pop combine harmoniously? She was the beautiful Neighbour, and he was the angry youth of Ballroom fame.
I suppose they didn't realise that music style doesn't dictate lifestyle, and we never need judge the other by what we perform onstage. Music supercedes classification so long as it's genuine.
And the same applies to my feelings.
Happy belated first year anniversary, imbruglia. I love you. Here's to the first year in many years to come.