Sep 13, 2005 18:06
I don't know. I haven't been on my computer very much lately, and I've missed it. Granted I've been doing things I'd rather be doing, but I still miss my computer time, which is rather odd. But yeah. I hate AP Biology. Well, hate is too strong of a word. "I strongly dislike AP Biology". I don't know. I kind of sort of want to drop the class, but I can't. I'd totally screw myself over by doing so...just eight and a half more months of torture, ne? I don't know. I like biology too, Mr. Neil just ruins it for me, which is sad :( But yeah. We get packets and crap for homework, and I've estimated they take about 10 hours to do. But it'll probably end up taking more. I've spent one hour on it, and it's due on Thursday, so I'm basically screwed. I keep digging my hole deeper in that class, but there's nothing more I can do about it.
There comes a time where we need to make choices...and decide what's important to us. I've given it a lot of thought, and I'm not willing to sacrifice my relationship with Alex for school. Last spring it was all about getting through each day alive, and this fall, though I have much more reason to live, it's so easy to fall back into whatever it was that made school such hell last spring. I don't know. I remember when I went out with a guyfriend...I had homework, and I didn't end up getting home until 10:30 on a school night. But...it was something I enjoyed. It made sense to me, it was something that would keep me alive. And if my school work suffered for it...I guess doing poorly at school is better than being dead, ne? But whatever.
I'm really not looking forward to that packet from hell that I'll be devoting most of my time to today and tomorrow :( And my head is killing me, and I want to talk to, be with, Alex, though that's hardly an option since I don't have a car. God only knows how long I won't have one, which really sucks :( Alex says he'll pay the ticket? Or part of it? I don't know, and as much as I'd like him to help "not that I feel he should or that he needs to" I won't accept any money from him. I can't. He needs to get a vehicle, or get his car fixed, and that's going to be spendy. Then he'll have to pay for gas and such, and I know he won't accept any money from me, so no, I'll just pay my ticket by myself. He has other things he needs to spend his money on, and I know he won't let me help him pay for any of it, so what's done is done and I'll just pay the stupid ticket. But whatever. I suppose I should start my homework? Bleugh.
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