Another lesson learned...
trust as few as you can, because its only the people that you trust that can truly hurt you.
i mean i already knew this, hell i learned this a longggggggg time ago but still i guess you really don't see someone for who they truly are until they are put to the test and fail.
no one is perfect. I AM NOT PERFECT. im not trying to blame anyone or point any fingers and this is not directed to anyone in particular, i just need to get this out.
people fuck up. they make mistakes. my philosophy used to be to forgive and forget. but fuck the forget part. i still see forgiving someone as a sign of strength and maturity but forgetting is another story. to forget someones wrong is a sign of stupidity and yes i was once stupid by forgetting and letting the same people use and hurt me the same way while i looked the other way and pretended like it was okay. thats just not the case anymore, im not gonna look the other way this time or any other time.
i used to think that if you really love and care about someone, you should hold on to them no matter what. again i was wrong because sometimes you love and care about people that don't love or care about you. yes that is possible. what i have also come to learn is that you can still care or love someone if they aren't in your life anymore. why keep people in your life that don't make you happy? because they already got the important life memo that you didn't, you are the most important person in your life.
sometimes people that don't make you happy really do care about you and really do love you, yes i guess thats possible. these people keep fucking up and the light bulb never comes on... why? because you don't screw it in their head that they are fucking up. why do spoiled children always get what they want, because the parents didn't do their job on setting boundaries right. its basically the same situation with anyone in your life, family, friends, lovers, bosses, etc... if you don't let them know they are fucking up they will keep doing it and doing it and doing it and someday you will crack and realize none of it was ever worth it. that saying "you don't know a good thing till its gone" is mostly the case for most people. why? because its really rare when someone can see and recognize on their own that they are wrong, that they are fucking up and admit it. thats called growing up kids and some people sadly never will grow up and will keep making the same mistakes. the true friends are the ones that can see on their own if they are fucking up and fix it, because they care. its really obvious when you care and when you don't. do you choose to open your eyes and see the truth, or keep them closed and see lies? do you care enough to see? thats the question.
i have been on both sides of this circle. i have been the hurter and the hurt. the giver and the taker. the one in the right, and the one in the wrong. the only difference between me and some of the people who used to be in my life... that i have owned up to my mistakes, i have admitted my wrongs, and i have walked away from dysfunctional relationships (romantic & friendships) that weren't good for me. yeah some took longer than others but life is a learning experience and everyone learns and grows on their own, and as i already mentioned some will never learn and never grown because they are too stubborn to admit that they are wrong, because it is basically impossible to ALWAYS be in the right. part of being a human being is having faults. so if you think you are perfect, then you are truly insane.
i really could go on forever haha im on a good one right now, trust me these past few days haven't been pretty. the thing is yeah i wish i could go back yeah i wish i could change things and not make mistakes, but the reality is that i cant. so the best i can do is admit my wrongs, forgive people who have wronged me (but not forget i mind you), and learn and change from each experience. i don't hate anyone and i have forgiven all those who have wronged me. i hate what they did and i haven't forgotten what they did but they have all taught me valuable lessons and have made me stronger. yes i miss some of them and i still care and i hope the best for them in their lives but for different reasons, some more than others, they don't belong in my life anymore. and even though i still love some of these people, i love myself more and my happiness and my sanity is worth more to me than their friendship.
if you read all this i give you props cause that was pretty long and deep haha. and if you took this as offensive because you think i am talking about you personally then think what you want but i don't care. i didnt do this for you and its not aimed at you as some kind of diss or whatever so please we could both not use the drama.
so basically,
peace♥
i mean i already knew this, hell i learned this a longggggggg time ago but still i guess you really don't see someone for who they truly are until they are put to the test and fail.
no one is perfect. I AM NOT PERFECT. im not trying to blame anyone or point any fingers and this is not directed to anyone in particular, i just need to get this out.
people fuck up. they make mistakes. my philosophy used to be to forgive and forget. but fuck the forget part. i still see forgiving someone as a sign of strength and maturity but forgetting is another story. to forget someones wrong is a sign of stupidity and yes i was once stupid by forgetting and letting the same people use and hurt me the same way while i looked the other way and pretended like it was okay. thats just not the case anymore, im not gonna look the other way this time or any other time.
i used to think that if you really love and care about someone, you should hold on to them no matter what. again i was wrong because sometimes you love and care about people that don't love or care about you. yes that is possible. what i have also come to learn is that you can still care or love someone if they aren't in your life anymore. why keep people in your life that don't make you happy? because they already got the important life memo that you didn't, you are the most important person in your life.
sometimes people that don't make you happy really do care about you and really do love you, yes i guess thats possible. these people keep fucking up and the light bulb never comes on... why? because you don't screw it in their head that they are fucking up. why do spoiled children always get what they want, because the parents didn't do their job on setting boundaries right. its basically the same situation with anyone in your life, family, friends, lovers, bosses, etc... if you don't let them know they are fucking up they will keep doing it and doing it and doing it and someday you will crack and realize none of it was ever worth it. that saying "you don't know a good thing till its gone" is mostly the case for most people. why? because its really rare when someone can see and recognize on their own that they are wrong, that they are fucking up and admit it. thats called growing up kids and some people sadly never will grow up and will keep making the same mistakes. the true friends are the ones that can see on their own if they are fucking up and fix it, because they care. its really obvious when you care and when you don't. do you choose to open your eyes and see the truth, or keep them closed and see lies? do you care enough to see? thats the question.
i have been on both sides of this circle. i have been the hurter and the hurt. the giver and the taker. the one in the right, and the one in the wrong. the only difference between me and some of the people who used to be in my life... that i have owned up to my mistakes, i have admitted my wrongs, and i have walked away from dysfunctional relationships (romantic & friendships) that weren't good for me. yeah some took longer than others but life is a learning experience and everyone learns and grows on their own, and as i already mentioned some will never learn and never grown because they are too stubborn to admit that they are wrong, because it is basically impossible to ALWAYS be in the right. part of being a human being is having faults. so if you think you are perfect, then you are truly insane.
i really could go on forever haha im on a good one right now, trust me these past few days haven't been pretty. the thing is yeah i wish i could go back yeah i wish i could change things and not make mistakes, but the reality is that i cant. so the best i can do is admit my wrongs, forgive people who have wronged me (but not forget i mind you), and learn and change from each experience. i don't hate anyone and i have forgiven all those who have wronged me. i hate what they did and i haven't forgotten what they did but they have all taught me valuable lessons and have made me stronger. yes i miss some of them and i still care and i hope the best for them in their lives but for different reasons, some more than others, they don't belong in my life anymore. and even though i still love some of these people, i love myself more and my happiness and my sanity is worth more to me than their friendship.
if you read all this i give you props cause that was pretty long and deep haha. and if you took this as offensive because you think i am talking about you personally then think what you want but i don't care. i didnt do this for you and its not aimed at you as some kind of diss or whatever so please we could both not use the drama.
so basically,
peace♥