i am admiting the truth!
Well i have come to terms on many issues lately...
I came to the conclusion that i am not going to push any further with Sam thing...I know I have said that many times before, but I truly mean what i am saying. I realzied that its not that i want him, its just that i want someone. I dont get excited when he calls, or i dont think about him constantly. That is what i want. I want to be with that someone that i cant wait to see, or always look to see if their online or if there the ones calling me. i want to be with that someone that makes me happy. Sam and I had our time together and i will never forget it. He truly was my first love, I will always care about him and wish him the best, but he is not my guy. Its hard admiting that because i do miss what we had. the endless talks at night, the staring into each others eyes...all that romantic stuff. He is defiently a huge part of my past. I do want to find someone because i do want to have that kind relationship again, but i know it cant be forced and i honestly dont want to force it. i want it to happen naturally. i want to wake up one morning and just feel it.
Sorry this one was a little sappy...other than thinking i have been working and hanging out with friends a lot. There my sanity right now. We have been going to the movies every weekend it seems like. I love it!!! I enjoy getting out of the house its fun, but then i also have had nights where i spent it at home. and i will admit it gets annoying after a while, but its also comfronting to be in a home that i can feel safe and loved in!!
Today was my first day off in a week! I sadly woke up at 9...as much as i tried to fall back i could not, so instead i went krogering!! lol...for me i bought a bunch of fruit....i have this goal that i want to fit into this really cute bikini i saw today. Its not so much that i cant fit into because honestly just about anyone can...which is why i think they should make smaller sizes but thats beside the point...i want to be able to feel comfrontable in it. so that is my goal. I also am thinking about joining an excercise program. Its 30 dollars a month so if i do it i want to stay dedicated. i have to see about finincical status tho because with working days i am not getting as many hours so i have to see what kind of paycheck i get, and my dad is making me pay my full phone bill now so i have to add up everything and see what happens. Oh...i also bought some cookies and brownies for everyone else....i felt like a housewife today but it was kinda fun! OH...i will have ya kno that i didnt eat any of the cookie dough nor the brownie, although i wanted to!! i just went for my cantelope and other fruits instead!! lol
Well i am gonna run up to the store so i shall talk to ya'll later!!