Burning Placemats
Ya I know I havent written in a long time.....meh, my life is busy nowadays what can I say?
So I have been thinking alot lately about all my previous posts in this journal. It spans from when my ex Chris and I broke up, to today...roughly 2.5 years. Alot of shit has happened to me in these past 2.5 years...good, bad, ugly, funny. I guess you'd say I'm being uber nostalgic lately.
I was thinking about deleting this journal and starting a new one. Something fresh. A "tabula rosa" in a way (anyone that knows where that is from, I'll give them a dollar xD).
But for now I am going to leave it. My past is my past. Its always going to be there no matter what I do to try to erase it. But I will say this, never before in my life have I ever been so comfortable about my past around someone. I honestly dont care who reads this b/c for a while (since the beginning of August actually) I was hiding back things on how I felt about certain things b/c of people who read this journal.
I always thought that there would be that one person for someone, someone who in every aspect completes them. I thought I found that in my previous exes, but that fairytale thought was overshadowed by depression, deceit, abuse, and my exes making me feel like I was worthless. Things happen for a reason. You go through 10 heartbreaking relationships just to find that one person who takes your heart and holds it close to them. Well, I have finally found that one person who holds my heart close to them. Never in my life have I thought that things would turn out like how they did between me and him. Admired him from afar, always kept him in my back of my mind, wondering about him for so long......its thoughts like that, that can swarm the brain and drive you nuts until you find out. So, I took the initiative and found out. Never before in my life have I felt this way about someone. Yes I have been in love, yes I have talked about marriage before, but never before has love ever felt like this. Its honest, its real, there are no doubts, no huge worries, and I feel a sense of fulfillment (which I have never felt before). I can honestly say I love him, with all of my heart. I see our future and its great. I see our present and its amazing. I see both of our pasts as something that has happened and is over and done with. No sense in dwelling on it when you cannot change what has happened.
This past weekend has been so wonderful. Every time I am with him it is wonderful. Yes I am gushing and I could care less.
I look into his eyes and they seem to go on forever. I see his heart, his soul, his intentions....
Of course I have alot more on my mind, but some things and details are better left unsaid. :)
I love you Kris, and you really complete me. I am yours and I mean that forever.
on a non-love note, school sucks...distance sucks...and my new job still kicks ass.
So I have been thinking alot lately about all my previous posts in this journal. It spans from when my ex Chris and I broke up, to today...roughly 2.5 years. Alot of shit has happened to me in these past 2.5 years...good, bad, ugly, funny. I guess you'd say I'm being uber nostalgic lately.
I was thinking about deleting this journal and starting a new one. Something fresh. A "tabula rosa" in a way (anyone that knows where that is from, I'll give them a dollar xD).
But for now I am going to leave it. My past is my past. Its always going to be there no matter what I do to try to erase it. But I will say this, never before in my life have I ever been so comfortable about my past around someone. I honestly dont care who reads this b/c for a while (since the beginning of August actually) I was hiding back things on how I felt about certain things b/c of people who read this journal.
I always thought that there would be that one person for someone, someone who in every aspect completes them. I thought I found that in my previous exes, but that fairytale thought was overshadowed by depression, deceit, abuse, and my exes making me feel like I was worthless. Things happen for a reason. You go through 10 heartbreaking relationships just to find that one person who takes your heart and holds it close to them. Well, I have finally found that one person who holds my heart close to them. Never in my life have I thought that things would turn out like how they did between me and him. Admired him from afar, always kept him in my back of my mind, wondering about him for so long......its thoughts like that, that can swarm the brain and drive you nuts until you find out. So, I took the initiative and found out. Never before in my life have I felt this way about someone. Yes I have been in love, yes I have talked about marriage before, but never before has love ever felt like this. Its honest, its real, there are no doubts, no huge worries, and I feel a sense of fulfillment (which I have never felt before). I can honestly say I love him, with all of my heart. I see our future and its great. I see our present and its amazing. I see both of our pasts as something that has happened and is over and done with. No sense in dwelling on it when you cannot change what has happened.
This past weekend has been so wonderful. Every time I am with him it is wonderful. Yes I am gushing and I could care less.
I look into his eyes and they seem to go on forever. I see his heart, his soul, his intentions....
Of course I have alot more on my mind, but some things and details are better left unsaid. :)
I love you Kris, and you really complete me. I am yours and I mean that forever.
on a non-love note, school sucks...distance sucks...and my new job still kicks ass.