A lot like smoking.
I want to reach for the phone and dial, just as bad as I wanna run down to the corner store and bust open a pack of smokes. Smoke the shit out of those fuckers, bang the crap out of my past lover. This is hard, but I keep telling myself the rewards will be worth it. Avoid them both for a little while. See beyond the fleeting moments of pleasure, security and what makes me feel good. Look at the big picture; my hazy vision of a self-realized woman, confident and strong, healthy, instinctual, intimidating, elegant, soft. She's already here and she's already me...I just can't see her yet. But I will, sweet mother-fucking jesus as god-satan-jehovah as my witness, I will.