arm
I remember seeing his little helpless body in that hospital and I couldn't really handle seeing him that way. I cried as I watched him cry and thought to myself "this is the only person I will love this much in this world." I held him in my arms as we drove to there and he fell asleep with the bloody rag around his tiny hands. I want to be there for him forever. I realized that my biggest fear in life is him dying. I always have nightmares and I am two seconds away from saving him and then it goes black. I wake up half asleep and sobbing and then calm my nerves and fall back asleep. Then I wake up to him the next morning throwing socks on my head and asking if he can go outside and play at 9 in the morning. Though I wake up annoyed, it's always reassuring that he is here and he was born because I don't know what I would do without him. He really teaches me things about life and has given me the best advice. His simplicity and his childhood makes me yearn to be small again but I know that this is irreversible. I am leaving for school in and week and I am scared to not see him everyday. I want to call him and talk to him on the phone and try not to cry as he tells me about history or baseball. He is loving and outrageous at times but I can't imagine him not being my little brother.