Might tell you tonight [open to brazen_hearts]

[dangers_untold]

((Following this))

Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered -- well, that's all very well and good, but where's the instruction manual for pouring out one's heart? Were Sarah in the state of mind to remember she'd ever done so, she'd gladly agree to take on a labyrinth and the Goblin King himself all over again than be faced with this.

The

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[brazen_hearts]

He really ought to have taken a look at that particular lever before gallivanting off to the Nexus. He's been better about such things, really, with Sarah to remind him now and again--when she can remember the names of the gadgets needing replacement, at least. And she's been extraordinarily good at that more recently, but this... even he can't remember the name of it just now

[dangers_untold]

Terror is a fine word for it.

It isn't that Sarah is naïve by any means, but when a girl grows up with fairy tales for instruction manuals and a goblin king for a first romantic encounter, her perceptions are bound to be out of the norm. By the time she met the Doctor she had been kissed exactly twice, and neither event had impressed her in the slightest. In fairness, neither boy had come anywhere close to fitting in to the Prince Charming category, and in retrospect she shouldn't have been so surprised at the lack of fireworks or birds singing or beams of heavenly light descending on her to complete the moment. It wasn't the first (or second) time in her life she'd been expecting a magic moment and been met instead with the greyness of reality.

In truth, she hasn't been thinking at all about kissing him - not right now and not with any seriousness. The thought has crossed her mind more times than she'd care to admit to anyone, usually in the dark of her room while burying her face in the white linen of her pillow, or those

[brazen_hearts]

The first thing on his mind when she advances is, strangely enough, the Mara. She doesn't look quite that sort of terrified, though, nor does she look like anything other than herself (albeit a vaguely frightened self). Instinctively, his arm goes out as she approaches--

And she's gone. He's left staring somewhat dumbly at the wall that was behind her a moment ago. What... what just happened? One hand comes up to prod gingerly at the receptive bit of his face, and he turns a thoroughly perplexed gaze to the lever. The exclamation still echoes, soft though it was, merely adding to his befuddlement. Did she just...? What was that for? He's come to be accustomed to more understandable things, such as hugs, fearful clinging, excited grasping of hands, but he struggles to make sense of the last ten seconds. Kissing

[dangers_untold]

She really ought to find the time to carve out a better hiding spot. Not that Sarah has ever found it necessary until now to really hide from the Doctor; normally when she seeks solitude it's with the understanding that he won't disturb her unless necessary. While she's never thought of it as hers, over time the Copse has become her unspoken sanctuary, a place where venerable trees seem to bend to her in greeting and the redolent air wraps her like a blanket. She's never begrudged the Doctor any intrusion he's chosen to make, but today of all days she half-wishes he'd stay away. Not out of animosity, but simple, pure embarrassment

[brazen_hearts]

He spares her the tra la la they've joked about before, that she might be used to from someone else, instead flipping his coat-tails back to slip his hands into his pockets as he makes his way further in. He angles his head at the sulking word and focuses on it, turning slowly on his heel to go in the direction it came from

[dangers_untold]

What happened? Were they in the same room ten minutes ago? She is so utterly baffled by the idea that he has no clue why she's upset that she lifts her head to stare across the branches at him incredulously. It was a Big Deal, wasn't it? So why is he now staring at her with the same wide-eyed concern he might give to a bump on the head. For one stomach-fluttering moment she wonders if, just maybe, he didn't mind being kissed. But no - she couldn't possibly be that lucky, could she? More likely the Doctor's just trying to soothe her out of kindness. She wedges her face between her knees miserably.

"I kissed you!" It doesn't even occur to Sarah to lie, or even evade the subject. There's always been an unspoken policy of honesty between them, and besides, she's not accustomed to being deceitful to anyone. The earnestness with which she blurts it out suggests that, as much as she'd rather not be having this conversation, she wants the topic sorted and forgotten as quickly as possible.

[brazen_hearts]

Regardless of being in the same room ten minutes ago, he wonders if they're in the same room now. He pauses a moment to remind himself that Sarah isn't the most rational thing when she's in a state. He even manages to keep from looking exasperated (Nyssa would be proud), before trying again.

"Yes, of course. I noticed, and it was very nice, if brief and somewhat alarming," he replies patiently. "You've never done so before, however, and I'm particularly concerned with both the cause of your decision to do so, and your state of upset upon making that decision. What happened to you while you were out of the TARDIS that brought you to that point? Has something frightened you? Were you threatened, or told something that made it necessary?"

[dangers_untold]

She might have virtually no experience in this area, but even Sarah has to wonder at him reacting so...well, practically. Or has she been operating under a misguided assumption that all kisses generate emotional responses?

"I'm gonna leave someday. I don't know when, but- well it's just not fair!" There she is, fifteen again and demanding the universe revolve according to her sense of justice. As if shouting about it will actually change the way things work. "I'll miss you for the rest of my life and you'll just keep going forever-"

She cuts herself off with a sigh, head falling back against the tree's trunk until she's staring sightlessly at the branches above. If she's waiting for them to provide the right words to make him understand, they remain frustratingly silent.

"Maybe I just wanted to, okay?"

[brazen_hearts]

Nothing. For a very long time, he doesn't respond. He counts himself lucky that her eyes turn to the tree before his emotional dam cracks, however slightly, and his face crumbles in a torrent of time-encompassing agony that he most often manages to ignore. Even his mind seizes with it, reverberating through the empathic sub-field, but within a second, he manages to recoil, hopefully before it could ever touch her

[dangers_untold]

Were she in a state to think at all, Sarah might find it amusing that after all she's seen, the idea of time standing still remains curiously laughable, but that's exactly what seems to happen the moment the Doctor kisses her. She thought he'd been coming closer to wrap her in a hug and shifted to accommodate him out of habit, but somewhere between his smile and now time stopped completely. Or something equally impossible; maybe the universe turned inside out, or maybe she died and hasn't realized it yet. This can't be real

[brazen_hearts]

A thousand thoughts, half of them outraged and indignant, the rest oblivious to that, instead pointing out to him what he already ought to have acknowledged moments ago, alongside a myriad other tiny technicalities, before he silences the lot and leans back again.

His senses remember warmth almost suddenly blossoming to heat, the odd note of apple in the shampoo she's taken to using regularly, the sound of her small shift on the bough at his approach, before it all fades again, leaving him perched precariously and looking faintly bewildered by the last several seconds. He gazes up at her a moment, sincerely confused: it's probably the first time in weeks he's been anything but unflappable, a strange testament to his trust. Nowhere near upset, however, he seems to take a moment to process this before his whole expression changes course, and he offers her a small and vulnerable smile. If one didn't know better, they'd think him a schoolboy.

"...D'you feel better, then?"

[dangers_untold]

For a brief moment in time, her stomach twists like a wrung-out dish cloth; does she feel better? ...Oh. Pity, then. Or comfort. Both? It's entirely possible. The Doctor's proved before how strange his assumptions about human interactions are. Maybe kissing means something completely different on Gallifrey. Maybe he doesn't understand at all what she meant by it, maybe he meant something else by it, maybe-

Boys.

"Yes, fine, thank you," she says dumbly, voice an octave too high when she glances up to meet his eyes.

Oh, hell.

Sarah very nearly melts under his smile, the colour in her cheeks high and bright, no doubt a result of all the blood rushing to her head. She brings the tips of her fingers to her mouth, concealing the tiny smile that twitches into existence at the memory of his chilled lips. The wrung-out feeling is still there, only not so unbearable now. Maybe it might go away if she kisses him again. Unless he really had meant it as a courtesy, but she's fairly sure even an alien wouldn't kiss a friend like that. Either

[brazen_hearts]

Ah, yes. That. Communication is so much easier when he doesn't have to explain his opinion, or if he does, he wishes it could all stay safely in an academic boundary. For a moment, the smile is washed away; he looks terrified, and in that, the Doctor is like any other man: sentiments are better demonstrated than spoken of, and it would take no less than a poet to rise to such a ludicrous and dangerous task

[dangers_untold]

Growing increasingly flustered with every stammer, Sarah is torn between wishing he would just get it out already and wishing she hadn't said anything in the first place. Given the trouble he seems to be having with his answer, she's no longer sure she wants to hear it, and is just about to cut him off - laugh off the whole thing and suggest they get on their way already - when he suddenly takes on the oddest expression and disappears from view.

Strangely, concern for the Doctor isn't the first, or even the second thing to cross her mind: her initial thought is how odd he sounds when he curses (really, it's the worst exclamation she's ever heard him use in all their time together), followed by an overwhelming sense of relief. By the time she reacts to his actual fall, no more than a second or two later, it's with genuine concern. Mostly.

"Doctor!" She scrambles down from her perch, dropping a few feet to the earth, kneeling next to the pile containing him and clearing away handfuls of leaves. "Are you okay