Oi
Got a new cat. Her name is Tink and there are pictures and a video of her on my myspace. Speaking of which, here's a ranty bulletin I deleted off of myspace:
Well the new cat is awesome. In fact I'd much rather stay home today and hang out with the new kitty than go to the Portland Zine Symposium. Not dogging on PZS at all. Just am in a bad mood. I'm tired. Depressed that apparently I wasn't the only one and I "lost" even though I would have been awesome. I just wasn't even given a fucking chance to prove myself. I guess it really is her day job though. Breaking hearts. But oh well. I'll try not to stay bitter about it. I was stupid for letting anyone in again. I seriously just either keep getting hurt or end up in an awkward situation. So I'm probably better off just not even trying anymore. I just need to remind myself that if I do find someone worth my time, money and attention that I'm not worth theirs so in the end I'll just be out $55 for nothing.
I just... I seriously wish I could take a pill that really did make it so I wouldn't care about any of it. So that I wouldn't care that my ex is with some jerk instead of me, that i was used and then called a stalker and lost a couple of friends and a good working opportunity, that I found someone who cared that I couldn't be with, that twice now I get dumped before getting a chance to even go out with the person and probably over some jerk because I'm just not a "bad boy" enough.
Well the new cat is awesome. In fact I'd much rather stay home today and hang out with the new kitty than go to the Portland Zine Symposium. Not dogging on PZS at all. Just am in a bad mood. I'm tired. Depressed that apparently I wasn't the only one and I "lost" even though I would have been awesome. I just wasn't even given a fucking chance to prove myself. I guess it really is her day job though. Breaking hearts. But oh well. I'll try not to stay bitter about it. I was stupid for letting anyone in again. I seriously just either keep getting hurt or end up in an awkward situation. So I'm probably better off just not even trying anymore. I just need to remind myself that if I do find someone worth my time, money and attention that I'm not worth theirs so in the end I'll just be out $55 for nothing.
I just... I seriously wish I could take a pill that really did make it so I wouldn't care about any of it. So that I wouldn't care that my ex is with some jerk instead of me, that i was used and then called a stalker and lost a couple of friends and a good working opportunity, that I found someone who cared that I couldn't be with, that twice now I get dumped before getting a chance to even go out with the person and probably over some jerk because I'm just not a "bad boy" enough.