(no subject)
I tell ya. This whole bloodmobile gettin new logos/artists/drawlings thing is really puttin a damper on my willingness to do anything band related ever again. I mean I get that they sorta need to. I just hate that like it makes me feel like my talents aren't worth a shit. True I may be a better artist but it's not like John and Ian are talentless shmucks. They're just younger is all but Ian especially has budding skills. I just feel like I'm nothin special just because I can draw and have a button machine and a screen printing kit and know how to use photoshop flash and blender. And I hate that it's basically because I didn't listen to my better judgement and stayed away from Jessi in the first place. I mean if I would have just listened to the part of me that was like "pssst, hey dude, she's on medication, she can't decide her orientation, she thinks tasha's punching game sounds like a good idea and you KNOW you're just trying to heal the Jenni wound" then Layne wouldn't have to "kick me out" of the band I wasn't even in. I hate that if I go to the shows anymore the only people looking forward to me being there are people who want to shoot me with a nerf gun. I hate that when I go Lindsey has to go outside and flip shit to whoever on her cell phone. I mean I don't know for a fact that it was about me being there but I'd bet a buck or two that it was. I'm fairly sure I heard the phrase "Yeah, he's here!" which could totally be something totally different. I don't really know. But the fact remains that she holds this massive grudge against me and it makes this whole thing pretty fucked. I mean I can't do Hardcoreasaurus 2 because no matter what it has to have at least Layne in it and frankly it's not the Connor half (third?) of bloodmobile I have a problem with. And it's not even Layne either, it's his girlfriend. But he's, rightfully so, loyal to her and would rather not piss her off more than he has to. At least this is what I'm told. Maybe he really does think I'm a prick and that I was completely off base thinking that Jessi was being wierd (more specifically: giving me the hot/cold treatment) and mentioning it in LiveJournal instead of to her face even though she also had a problem with me and wouldn't talk to me about it to my face either. I don't know. But all I'm saying in this long rant is that it sucks. It's just messed up that we can't all be adults about this and not have the girl drama spill into to the band/art stuff. But like I've said before. I probably shouldn't be spending so much time doing a bunch of art/merch/animation for free unless it's for school or for practice or my own projects anyways. I just hate that I've got all these wasted ideas and that it ruins quite a bit for me.
*sigh*
And really they are just gonna think I'm crazy for posting this anyways instead of seeing my point. They're just gonna be like "WTF? why's he gotta be all hella bitchin' 'bout us? Nah, gurl. Nah, gurl. I'll cut a bitch!" or something like that.
So since I'm here I might aswell give a workly update.
My manager is leaving. I want to leave half the time. I hate working lead close. It's not worth the money. Apparently the owners like me enough that the mention of a second job worries my manager who's leaving. I have a second job. It's gamestop. Not sure if I'll ever ACTUALLY work there though. So far nothing. I'm basically totally out of school now. I smell like onions and mayonase all the time. I spend all my free time with my brother and Jenni. I don't really have a problem with that. I set off the alarm the other day. I keep covering shifts. I don't want to work tomorrow. I don't want to do inventory.
Tonight was pretty cool. Or last night. Whatever. Since I changed shifts to midday me and Jenni got to go out to sushi at sushi hana and I bought myself a pair of chopsticks. Sushi Hana really is better than SushiLand. And it's just as cheap. Poor Jenni had to work today and they kept her an hour over but she still went with me and even paid for like half of mine even though I was gonna pay for it myself.
Let's see... um J-List is an evil website and I'm never buying anything from them ever again. They charged me for something and then didn't ship it and now it's out of stock plus they still haven't shipped my first order even though they charged me for it over two weeks ago. I'm getting really pissed. They won't even reply to my e-mails or phone messages. Seriously, don't shop there. I don't care how cool the stuff is, you're better off driving to Uwajimaya for your asian novelty and snack food needs. Edit: Okay so not so Evil. The owner finally e-mailed me and let me know that the hello kitty thing is on backorder, not just gone completely and that it WILL ship and he appologized for dropping the ball (his words) and is gonna look into the other order for me. I'm still hesitant to shop there anymore but it will help if everything gets shipped out in the next couple of weeks.
I've decided that if inspirations come to me for hardcoreasaurus 2 I won't deny them but I'm not focusing on it right now. I'm focsing on my working stiff comic and I've got some good stuff for it.
oi... seriously just too much going on right now to fit in a reasonable post. Besides frustration, exhaustion and writers block I'm actually doing pretty good though. I've still got the usual problems but I'm handling them well and I haven't really been depressed or anything. Just pissed off and tired. But I feel pretty good about myself and my future.
*sigh*
And really they are just gonna think I'm crazy for posting this anyways instead of seeing my point. They're just gonna be like "WTF? why's he gotta be all hella bitchin' 'bout us? Nah, gurl. Nah, gurl. I'll cut a bitch!" or something like that.
So since I'm here I might aswell give a workly update.
My manager is leaving. I want to leave half the time. I hate working lead close. It's not worth the money. Apparently the owners like me enough that the mention of a second job worries my manager who's leaving. I have a second job. It's gamestop. Not sure if I'll ever ACTUALLY work there though. So far nothing. I'm basically totally out of school now. I smell like onions and mayonase all the time. I spend all my free time with my brother and Jenni. I don't really have a problem with that. I set off the alarm the other day. I keep covering shifts. I don't want to work tomorrow. I don't want to do inventory.
Tonight was pretty cool. Or last night. Whatever. Since I changed shifts to midday me and Jenni got to go out to sushi at sushi hana and I bought myself a pair of chopsticks. Sushi Hana really is better than SushiLand. And it's just as cheap. Poor Jenni had to work today and they kept her an hour over but she still went with me and even paid for like half of mine even though I was gonna pay for it myself.
Let's see... um J-List is an evil website and I'm never buying anything from them ever again. They charged me for something and then didn't ship it and now it's out of stock plus they still haven't shipped my first order even though they charged me for it over two weeks ago. I'm getting really pissed. They won't even reply to my e-mails or phone messages. Seriously, don't shop there. I don't care how cool the stuff is, you're better off driving to Uwajimaya for your asian novelty and snack food needs. Edit: Okay so not so Evil. The owner finally e-mailed me and let me know that the hello kitty thing is on backorder, not just gone completely and that it WILL ship and he appologized for dropping the ball (his words) and is gonna look into the other order for me. I'm still hesitant to shop there anymore but it will help if everything gets shipped out in the next couple of weeks.
I've decided that if inspirations come to me for hardcoreasaurus 2 I won't deny them but I'm not focusing on it right now. I'm focsing on my working stiff comic and I've got some good stuff for it.
oi... seriously just too much going on right now to fit in a reasonable post. Besides frustration, exhaustion and writers block I'm actually doing pretty good though. I've still got the usual problems but I'm handling them well and I haven't really been depressed or anything. Just pissed off and tired. But I feel pretty good about myself and my future.