(no subject)
he called me. we talked. it was nice. but now i miss him. more than i have all year. i miss talking to him everynight until one of us fell asleep holding the phone to our ear... i miss calling him and hearing his sweet niece yell into the receiver "i love you iwah!"... i even miss his voice while he laughed and made fun of every "blonde-moment" thing i say... but that part of my life is over. and one day i will completely be able to accept that. just not today.
of course... even after i've left school and i've come home, i'm still dealing with drama. i hate knowing secrets. i hate having secrets. i hate knowing things about other people i'm not supposed to. i hate not being able to tell the people i care about things they should know but don't. i feel like i can't even talk to them anymore... and i want to. so very badly. but what if i open my mouth and say things i shouldn't? even if i do it on accident... or something slips and they figure out things from that mistaken side comment...?
i guess i really should just throw my phone out the window. delete my aim screen name, never update myspace or xanga or livejournal.
but i refuse to cut myself off from the world. i, for one, believe the internet is a wonderful invention and plan on using it to its fullest advantage.
so what if i'm your best kept secret?
you're my biggest mistake.