gamble everything for love

[dangerosive]

my entire body is stiff and refuses to work the way i tell it to, i can't tell if it's my eyes that are foggy or just my glasses, and there is champagne in my hair. another weekend nearly over and i wonder what happened to getting a couple days of rest after another awful week. because that's what i always plan but rarely how it goes. i don't even know why my weeks are so awful. when i think about it, nothing that bad ever happens, everything is just wearing me down, on all sides, in all ways. and i really just want to take a break but i'm afraid that if i do i will lose whatever it is that's keeping me going.

i have a crush on a boy in my math class and i kind of wish i didn't. i don't want to deal with feelings.