call me a safe bet, i'm betting i'm not

[dangerosive]

i wish i could talk the way i write, the way i think things. when i speak, it all comes out so jumbled and messy. i stumble over my words and my intent and i just prove how inept i am at dealing with people.

tonight i went out to dinner and told a girl i cannot date her. it was painful to watch myself say these things in such an awkward way. the drive back to campus was very uncomfortable.

part of me thinks i should feel bad for shooting people down like this, but really i am just glad i don't have to deal with it anymore.

i'm probably too misanthropic to successfully date anyone.