i'm not crazy cuz i take the right pills
i can't remember the last time i slept more than five hours in a day. lately it has been less. i am running myself ragged again, and for no good reason.
i work with these twins, who are pretty adorable. and saturday was their birthday, so we had a party. the kind of party that starts with a poorly-executed, drunken game of capture the flag, somehow turns into streaking down a deserted highway, and ends with you having sex on the front lawn of your friend's parents' house. so, a pretty decent party. i would have liked to sleep after that, but i'm pretty sure that as soon as i curled up on my chair to pass out, i was woken up so we could get on the road for the warped tour. fun morning, that one. i don't normally get carsick, but man, i was trying my best not to barf towards the end of that one. keifer got us a little lost and we literally drove around in circles, on and off ramps, and i wanted to die. the first couple hours of being there, i was a walking zombie of tequila-hangover and severe anxiety. but, it got better. i got some anxiety pills before going and took a couple of those, and the feeling of death wore off after a while. i even felt well enough to stand in the middle of a crowd all pressed up against strangers enjoying music and NOT having a panic attack!
i missed mc chris's show, though. i seriously cried. the schedule we got when first arriving was apparently wrong and he played four hours earlier than i thought. i still feel like crying when i think about it.
i have a phone that works again. yayness! people can actually call me, and they can hear what i'm saying! mike called yesterday, and when i answered he was like, "oh wow!" he knew my phone was broken, but he still kept calling all the time anyway. he is silly like that.
i had a pretty awful panic attack at work today. i think i am still all strung out from the weekend and also not sleeping. today i just want to sit in my room and do absolutely nothing. i might even just stare at the wall for some time.
oh, so my interview went rather well and i am an RA. it was nice because i didn't care whether or not i got the job and was able to be an ass while being interviewed. when asked what i could contribute to the staff, my response was, "my awesomeness." training for that shit starts next monday, so this is my last week of summer staffing. i am pretty bummed about that, because i take my job too seriously and feel like i am abandoning everyone. but i'm not gonna lie. training is going to be a whole heck of a lot easier than working my ass off cleaning and painting and moving crap.
mike keeps trying to convince me to date his roommate kyle. mostly so he can then make fun of me for dating kyle. not that he's a bad guy, just awkward and inept, even moreso than most people i hang out with. but sometimes i think, maybe i should date kyle. it might be better than being alone. having random sex on people's lawns is fun and all, but sometimes i just really want a regular, not-fucked-up relationship. but i don't think i'd even know how to do that.
i work with these twins, who are pretty adorable. and saturday was their birthday, so we had a party. the kind of party that starts with a poorly-executed, drunken game of capture the flag, somehow turns into streaking down a deserted highway, and ends with you having sex on the front lawn of your friend's parents' house. so, a pretty decent party. i would have liked to sleep after that, but i'm pretty sure that as soon as i curled up on my chair to pass out, i was woken up so we could get on the road for the warped tour. fun morning, that one. i don't normally get carsick, but man, i was trying my best not to barf towards the end of that one. keifer got us a little lost and we literally drove around in circles, on and off ramps, and i wanted to die. the first couple hours of being there, i was a walking zombie of tequila-hangover and severe anxiety. but, it got better. i got some anxiety pills before going and took a couple of those, and the feeling of death wore off after a while. i even felt well enough to stand in the middle of a crowd all pressed up against strangers enjoying music and NOT having a panic attack!
i missed mc chris's show, though. i seriously cried. the schedule we got when first arriving was apparently wrong and he played four hours earlier than i thought. i still feel like crying when i think about it.
i have a phone that works again. yayness! people can actually call me, and they can hear what i'm saying! mike called yesterday, and when i answered he was like, "oh wow!" he knew my phone was broken, but he still kept calling all the time anyway. he is silly like that.
i had a pretty awful panic attack at work today. i think i am still all strung out from the weekend and also not sleeping. today i just want to sit in my room and do absolutely nothing. i might even just stare at the wall for some time.
oh, so my interview went rather well and i am an RA. it was nice because i didn't care whether or not i got the job and was able to be an ass while being interviewed. when asked what i could contribute to the staff, my response was, "my awesomeness." training for that shit starts next monday, so this is my last week of summer staffing. i am pretty bummed about that, because i take my job too seriously and feel like i am abandoning everyone. but i'm not gonna lie. training is going to be a whole heck of a lot easier than working my ass off cleaning and painting and moving crap.
mike keeps trying to convince me to date his roommate kyle. mostly so he can then make fun of me for dating kyle. not that he's a bad guy, just awkward and inept, even moreso than most people i hang out with. but sometimes i think, maybe i should date kyle. it might be better than being alone. having random sex on people's lawns is fun and all, but sometimes i just really want a regular, not-fucked-up relationship. but i don't think i'd even know how to do that.