Gender norms and boys in cardboard boxes: Kimi Wa Petto
I have watched the first episode of Kimi Wa Petto, a jdrama about a career-oriented woman who takes in a homeless younger guy as a pet (no, not that way, thankfully).
I was staying away from this one for the longest time. The concept sounded weird, true, but more importantly, it just sounded entirely too dom-sub and bizarro. Yeah, yeah, it had a good rep, but come on. A human pet? I wasn’t sure such a topic belonged outside of a certain curtained off area of a video store. But after:
a. getting into a MatsuJun fever with Hana Yori Dango 2
b. people repeatedly assuring me there aren’t any weird sexualized power games
c. people telling me it’s actually quite good and
d. most important of all, fireball-says unleashing her capslock on me. In large font.
I caved in.
So?
What is my opinion?
I LOVE IT.
I should listen to my friendslist more often. This is wacky, and off-kilter and I have no clue which way it’s going to go. And most importantly, it has such fascinating things to say about gender roles and power balances. And I have to say, a whole ep in, there was only one scene that made me go ‘whaaaaa.’ (where she is stroking his hair). I guess if I don’t think of it too much as a concept, I am OK ;)
More detailed summary and analysis follows:
Sumire is a career-woman. She is whip-smart, attractive and…percieved as a failure and a freak by those around her. In a male oriented society, she is an albatross. What guy wants to date a woman smarter, with more earning power, and taller than he is? Her fiancé ditches her for a simple, ‘proper’ woman (whom he promptly gets pregnant). Her bosses barely tolerate her unwomanly behavior and when she clocks her boss for grabbing her, she gets demoted. Men don’t like her and neither do women: she is not what she is supposed to be. At work, her uncompromising perfectionism, which would be praised in a man, just gets her viewed as difficult. And that is not even the worst part. Probably as a response to such a perception, a response to locking herself into a male paradigm, Sumire seems incapable of opening up, of acting vulnerable (because she knows she can’t afford to). Which only seems to make people around her see her as even more of a freak. (There is a brilliant scene where she tells off an incompetent female co-worker and the girl bursts into easy tears and that is percieved as natural and human and Sumire gets in trouble).
She is isolated and self-sufficient and totally alone. At least until the night she comes home and finds a large cardboard box outside her door. When she looks inside (thinking it’s trash), she finds instead that the box is occupied. By a bleeding, unconscious young guy (MatsuJun. How come things like this never happen to me?) Sumire tries to get someone to help her and to call the cops or an ambulance, but it starts to rain, and on a kind impulse, she drags the box (still with its contents) into her apartment. I actually find it interesting, and relevant to the gender issues in this drama that Sumire is portrayed as physically strong: she punches out her boss, she practices some sort of martial art, she enjoys watching wrestling on TV, she can drag a box with a guy inside it. It really goes to the whole notions of gender and percieved gender roles.
Sumire is ‘masculine’ in a lot of traditional ways, physical, emotional and mental (‘Masculine’ as defined by traditional society of course): she is intelligent, impatient of failure (as opposed to conciliatory), having trouble with revealing her emotions, career-oriented, tall, strong, not afraid of violence. In her society, that would make her a splendid man, but because of gender norms, as a woman, all these qualities brand her as a freak. She doesn’t fit the neat boxes designed for groups. And significantly, she is not ‘butch.’ She is an attractive woman who dresses well. She doesn’t fit the norms, and she is penalized for it. In a way, being that way boxes her in more, because she feels she needs to act ‘tougher’ to compensate for not being a man, because she cannot see any other model for success than acting like a man (because she doesn’t have a framework for being a successful woman, because there isn’t such a thing) and yet that keeps alienating people more and more and thus pushes her further and further. She cannot be herself.
But to get back to the previous point. The gender role analysis is really interesting with the two characters. If Sumire is portrayed as career oriented and strong, our first glimpse of Momo (real name Takeshi, but whatever, it’s shorter to type) is of him being wounded and beaten up and weak. We later find out that he is also homeless at least for the time being and clearly doesn’t have any career. He is some sort of a dancer, which is an artistic, emotional occupation more traditionally feminine (significantly, he is also bucking the norm in that, because despite all those things, the manager of the studio indicates he isn’t gay, as if it’s a very weird thing. It’s as if you have certain characteristics, you are supposed to be certain things, and in Momo’s case, just as in Sumire’s, it just doesn’t match). He is also very open with his emotions, spontaneous and extremely unambitious.
In a way, what Sumire will get in her relationship with Momo (whatever it will be, whether romantic or just companionable) is the reverse version of what all the men in her life wanted: There is a career-oriented, intelligent partner (taller, older, more intelligent and with earning power) who just wants to come home to someone cute and sweet and not an intellectual equal but someone who is glad to see them and provides them with emotional comfort. Only in this relationship, the genders are switched. I wonder if the drama is actively trying to say that in many ways a partner like that is really like a pet? Personally, this is not a model of a relationship that appeals to me. I like the idea of a relationship of equals. What Sumire would have is not any more equitable or appealing than the reverse of those men who have passed her by for a bimbo. But, perhaps in a male-oriented society that is the relationship that is the best for her. And also, however weird, if it works for both parties? Who am I to object.
Anyway, that was a huge digression.
To get back to the story. Sumire patches up the unconscious guy as best she can, takes care of his fever, feeds him, and leaves for work in the morning with the expectation of him being gone when she gets back.
To her surprise, the guy is still there and after telling her he has been homeless for a bit and was staying at some hotel for free but it turned out the manager wanted him to pay for the favor with his body, so he ran off and was being chased blah blah and then he hid in the box and fell asleep. And then he starts begging Sumire to let him stay (once again, why don’t things like that happen to me?) He tells her he’ll be anything and Sumire, just to get rid of him, says that fine, he can stay and be her pet. She’ll cook for him if he’s good but he won’t have any rights. She fully expects him to leave, but after hesitating for a bit, the guy…agrees. (There is barking. It is odd). He doesn’t tell her his name (I wonder if it’s connected to the weird guy in a suit looking for him everywhere) but tells her that she should give him a name. Optimistically adding that it should be the name of her ex-boyfriend, or her first love, or the guy she lost her virginity to. LOL. So she thinks for a bit and goes ‘Momo.’ To which he asks ‘Was he a foreigner?’ and she replies that was her dog when she was a kid. ROFL. She also tells him no sex and he is sorta disappointed (young men. All the same :D)
It’s interesting, this relationship between them. Momo is a complete nut (a charitable way would be to put it as ‘free spirit’). He is just an oddball eccentric and quite nice and it’s not as if he has no pride or is too desperate or anything. It’s more of ‘this is an unusual situation, let’s see what can happen.’ Part of the reason I love this so much is I have no idea half the time what his reaction to things is going to be. (I was worried that watching this and Hanadan at the same time would be disorienting, but not at all. MatsuJun is so different as the imperious, very alpha Domyouji that the connection doesn’t even cross my mind). And because of having no filters about his emotions, and because Sumire doesn’t have to worry about meeting his expectations (he has none) or impressing him, or anything, she can actually open up to him the way she really can’t to anyone else. It’s much much better than a dog, because he can talk back ;) There is this wonderful scene where, after having a day from hell, Sumire comes home and is greeted by the exuberant Momo and she is processing the fact that there is actually someone glad to see her as if it’s a wonder (definitely, housewife/salaryman analogy applies here). And he tells her she can stroke his hair like people do with pets which is the one scene that made me go ‘whaaaaaa?’ because she does it mechanically and then she sort of pulls him to her so she can do it easier. So his head is on her chest and I am all ‘ummmm, he isn’t REALLY a pet, you know?’ Also, you have MatsuJun basically face down on your chest and you are totally wasting the opportunity :D
So yeah, this is enjoyable and interesting and I look forward to more.
Also, I am jealous because he can do cartwheels really easily and that is something I wanted to do since I was a kid.
I do have write-ups about Battlestar and Guru coming up later in the day.
I was staying away from this one for the longest time. The concept sounded weird, true, but more importantly, it just sounded entirely too dom-sub and bizarro. Yeah, yeah, it had a good rep, but come on. A human pet? I wasn’t sure such a topic belonged outside of a certain curtained off area of a video store. But after:
a. getting into a MatsuJun fever with Hana Yori Dango 2
b. people repeatedly assuring me there aren’t any weird sexualized power games
c. people telling me it’s actually quite good and
d. most important of all, fireball-says unleashing her capslock on me. In large font.
I caved in.
So?
What is my opinion?
I LOVE IT.
I should listen to my friendslist more often. This is wacky, and off-kilter and I have no clue which way it’s going to go. And most importantly, it has such fascinating things to say about gender roles and power balances. And I have to say, a whole ep in, there was only one scene that made me go ‘whaaaaa.’ (where she is stroking his hair). I guess if I don’t think of it too much as a concept, I am OK ;)
More detailed summary and analysis follows:
Sumire is a career-woman. She is whip-smart, attractive and…percieved as a failure and a freak by those around her. In a male oriented society, she is an albatross. What guy wants to date a woman smarter, with more earning power, and taller than he is? Her fiancé ditches her for a simple, ‘proper’ woman (whom he promptly gets pregnant). Her bosses barely tolerate her unwomanly behavior and when she clocks her boss for grabbing her, she gets demoted. Men don’t like her and neither do women: she is not what she is supposed to be. At work, her uncompromising perfectionism, which would be praised in a man, just gets her viewed as difficult. And that is not even the worst part. Probably as a response to such a perception, a response to locking herself into a male paradigm, Sumire seems incapable of opening up, of acting vulnerable (because she knows she can’t afford to). Which only seems to make people around her see her as even more of a freak. (There is a brilliant scene where she tells off an incompetent female co-worker and the girl bursts into easy tears and that is percieved as natural and human and Sumire gets in trouble).
She is isolated and self-sufficient and totally alone. At least until the night she comes home and finds a large cardboard box outside her door. When she looks inside (thinking it’s trash), she finds instead that the box is occupied. By a bleeding, unconscious young guy (MatsuJun. How come things like this never happen to me?) Sumire tries to get someone to help her and to call the cops or an ambulance, but it starts to rain, and on a kind impulse, she drags the box (still with its contents) into her apartment. I actually find it interesting, and relevant to the gender issues in this drama that Sumire is portrayed as physically strong: she punches out her boss, she practices some sort of martial art, she enjoys watching wrestling on TV, she can drag a box with a guy inside it. It really goes to the whole notions of gender and percieved gender roles.
Sumire is ‘masculine’ in a lot of traditional ways, physical, emotional and mental (‘Masculine’ as defined by traditional society of course): she is intelligent, impatient of failure (as opposed to conciliatory), having trouble with revealing her emotions, career-oriented, tall, strong, not afraid of violence. In her society, that would make her a splendid man, but because of gender norms, as a woman, all these qualities brand her as a freak. She doesn’t fit the neat boxes designed for groups. And significantly, she is not ‘butch.’ She is an attractive woman who dresses well. She doesn’t fit the norms, and she is penalized for it. In a way, being that way boxes her in more, because she feels she needs to act ‘tougher’ to compensate for not being a man, because she cannot see any other model for success than acting like a man (because she doesn’t have a framework for being a successful woman, because there isn’t such a thing) and yet that keeps alienating people more and more and thus pushes her further and further. She cannot be herself.
But to get back to the previous point. The gender role analysis is really interesting with the two characters. If Sumire is portrayed as career oriented and strong, our first glimpse of Momo (real name Takeshi, but whatever, it’s shorter to type) is of him being wounded and beaten up and weak. We later find out that he is also homeless at least for the time being and clearly doesn’t have any career. He is some sort of a dancer, which is an artistic, emotional occupation more traditionally feminine (significantly, he is also bucking the norm in that, because despite all those things, the manager of the studio indicates he isn’t gay, as if it’s a very weird thing. It’s as if you have certain characteristics, you are supposed to be certain things, and in Momo’s case, just as in Sumire’s, it just doesn’t match). He is also very open with his emotions, spontaneous and extremely unambitious.
In a way, what Sumire will get in her relationship with Momo (whatever it will be, whether romantic or just companionable) is the reverse version of what all the men in her life wanted: There is a career-oriented, intelligent partner (taller, older, more intelligent and with earning power) who just wants to come home to someone cute and sweet and not an intellectual equal but someone who is glad to see them and provides them with emotional comfort. Only in this relationship, the genders are switched. I wonder if the drama is actively trying to say that in many ways a partner like that is really like a pet? Personally, this is not a model of a relationship that appeals to me. I like the idea of a relationship of equals. What Sumire would have is not any more equitable or appealing than the reverse of those men who have passed her by for a bimbo. But, perhaps in a male-oriented society that is the relationship that is the best for her. And also, however weird, if it works for both parties? Who am I to object.
Anyway, that was a huge digression.
To get back to the story. Sumire patches up the unconscious guy as best she can, takes care of his fever, feeds him, and leaves for work in the morning with the expectation of him being gone when she gets back.
To her surprise, the guy is still there and after telling her he has been homeless for a bit and was staying at some hotel for free but it turned out the manager wanted him to pay for the favor with his body, so he ran off and was being chased blah blah and then he hid in the box and fell asleep. And then he starts begging Sumire to let him stay (once again, why don’t things like that happen to me?) He tells her he’ll be anything and Sumire, just to get rid of him, says that fine, he can stay and be her pet. She’ll cook for him if he’s good but he won’t have any rights. She fully expects him to leave, but after hesitating for a bit, the guy…agrees. (There is barking. It is odd). He doesn’t tell her his name (I wonder if it’s connected to the weird guy in a suit looking for him everywhere) but tells her that she should give him a name. Optimistically adding that it should be the name of her ex-boyfriend, or her first love, or the guy she lost her virginity to. LOL. So she thinks for a bit and goes ‘Momo.’ To which he asks ‘Was he a foreigner?’ and she replies that was her dog when she was a kid. ROFL. She also tells him no sex and he is sorta disappointed (young men. All the same :D)
It’s interesting, this relationship between them. Momo is a complete nut (a charitable way would be to put it as ‘free spirit’). He is just an oddball eccentric and quite nice and it’s not as if he has no pride or is too desperate or anything. It’s more of ‘this is an unusual situation, let’s see what can happen.’ Part of the reason I love this so much is I have no idea half the time what his reaction to things is going to be. (I was worried that watching this and Hanadan at the same time would be disorienting, but not at all. MatsuJun is so different as the imperious, very alpha Domyouji that the connection doesn’t even cross my mind). And because of having no filters about his emotions, and because Sumire doesn’t have to worry about meeting his expectations (he has none) or impressing him, or anything, she can actually open up to him the way she really can’t to anyone else. It’s much much better than a dog, because he can talk back ;) There is this wonderful scene where, after having a day from hell, Sumire comes home and is greeted by the exuberant Momo and she is processing the fact that there is actually someone glad to see her as if it’s a wonder (definitely, housewife/salaryman analogy applies here). And he tells her she can stroke his hair like people do with pets which is the one scene that made me go ‘whaaaaaa?’ because she does it mechanically and then she sort of pulls him to her so she can do it easier. So his head is on her chest and I am all ‘ummmm, he isn’t REALLY a pet, you know?’ Also, you have MatsuJun basically face down on your chest and you are totally wasting the opportunity :D
So yeah, this is enjoyable and interesting and I look forward to more.
Also, I am jealous because he can do cartwheels really easily and that is something I wanted to do since I was a kid.
I do have write-ups about Battlestar and Guru coming up later in the day.