Escaflowne: the obsession continues
katranna came over and stayed the night so we ended up marathonning Escaflowne and I went to bed only when my eyes were literally not working any more. And we watched 2 more eps in the morning during breakfast. I am pretty fried today (obviously). It’s psychotically addictive, though, and I have only 4 episodes left.
I have also decided that my favorite character is Allen though at times Van was giving him a run for his money especially when he was extracted all cut and bleeding and in hideous pain from binding himself to Escaflowne and then went to fight in it again, and when he was PTSDing about killing the dragon slayers. Or when he was trying to get Hitomi’s stopped heart to work. The fact that he doesn't want to kill, can't raise his sword even, but is being forced to, again and again, is heartbreaking, and Baby Van is the most adorable thing ever especially when his brother reads him the children’s book and he is “but that is so mean” re: killing of dragons. I want to adopt Baby Van, though considering what I want to do to the grown-up counterpart, that is perhaps troubling. But I digress.
Yes, Allen’s my favorite, which is unusual because usually I pick the guy who gets the girl or whatever. But I think in a way, Allen fits the most into the pattern of heroes I like: impossibly elegant, blond and blue eyed, most competent fighter, emotionally fucked-up (he and Van can bond over that), and willing to do some pretty “non-straightforward things” out of passion or in pursuit of good goals (I loved it when he held that thing to Prince Chid’s throat, a trusting and hero-worshipping kid, to have the guards let them out of jail (and it’s his own child!!!) and there is of course that thing with Marlene and their night(s?) of passion), and still managing to maintain their honor, but not bloodless propriety all the time.
I am also interested to see that there is not much shipping in the show (unlike in the fanfic). I mean, there are romantic feelings but they are proportional and realistic. Hitomi is after all 15, and not a modern Juliet. In fact, of all the relationships, the most interesting to me are often non-romantic: Folken and Van, for example, is riveting. Of all the romantic relationships, the one I find myself most interested in, is oddly enough Allen-Marlene-Millerna thing. Maybe because I love the fact that for once Allen (who seems to be all about control of himself) lost it, or maybe it’s the angsty doomed love of the “perfect golden knight” and the Princess who married someone else but ended up with a visible proof of her passion, or maybe even the realistic fact that she ended up loving her husband, the Duke of Freid after all, which is so realistic: she can never have Allen and she has a whole life ahead of her and she must move on and the Duke is an amazing guy if he acknowledged a son so clearly not his own). But probably it’s the fucked up element that Millerna brings into it. Because I do think that any feelings Allen has for her are because she looks like Marlene, and it would actually make a great fucked-up scenario for a fanfic if they did get together, but only with the lights off so Allen could pretend it’s Marlene and Millerna would know but would take what she can get. . Of course, this whole Marlene thing is why I think Allen-Millerna would never work out even if he genuinely fell for her, because Millerna would never be able to be secure, as she does look like Marlene and she’d be wondering if he loves her at least in part because he sees the shadow of her sister in her. In fact, one thing I want to happen before the show ends is for Millerna to make peace with what she should have and have it. I don’t care if it’s madly falling for Dryden, her arranged husband (he annoys me but I can see he is a good guy), if it’s running away with Allen in mad passion (though I can’t see Allen getting into a mad passion, mark 2), or even if it’s realizing that she wants to stay with Dryden because she likes him and he would make a good husband and she could never have Allen (who should seriously have a girl who does NOT look like his dead OTP) reciprocate anyway. I don’t care which one of the options she picks, but I really want her to actively choose and be at peace and happy with the option.
In any event, I think what Allen needs is not a OTP but his sister back, because it’s his failure while out with her, and her disappearance that has been haunting his life. In a way, he’s been trying to recreate the little sister thing with Hitomi, because while he might like her romantically just a bit, it’s really is the sister thing all over again, only this time he will save and protect her. I think both Van and Allen have these huge issues of abandonment and not being good enough. For Van, it’s because after his father died, his mother just wondered off, as if Van being there wasn’t good enough to keep her (very Arwen of her, and makes me think about how bad it would actually be to be the offspring of a great love story). And then his brother abandoned him, by either dying or running away. Of course, by the end, I think a great deal of this hurt is fixed for him, in part because he does see his mother again briefly, and in larger part because he finds out that Folken was neither a psycho nor a coward. And Allen has really similar abandonment issues. After his sister ran off, his mother just wasted away and died for her. So he, Allen, was also not good enough to give any meaning to her life (and of course, if she died because of Sis, that’s one more thing for Allen to blame himself for). And his father abandoned him and the whole family to look for mythical junk as if he Allen, wasn’t worth staying home for. It’s interesting that he keeps recreating this pattern in his further relationships. I get the feeling that he madly fell for Marlene, but the fact remains she wasn’t someone he could ever have, clearly, and she did end up marrying someone else. He isn’t interested in Millerna until Dryden comes on the scene and he thinks he will lose her (it’s as if he doesn’t want someone who just wants him with no competition. He is just recreating pattern where someone he likes picks someone else over him, over and over). But so far in the episodes, he’s also been getting fixed: that talk with his ghost!father, where he found out that while his father would never win father of the year but he did love Allen and family, did a great deal to help him. And so far, I think rescuing Hitomi on a regular basis is at least helping him deal with the abandonment of sis thing at least a bit. And I think meeting Prince Chid face to face was also a form of exorcism (of Marlene). And of course in a way, Folken is just as betrayed and abandoned (by the bizarre Fanelia customs, by his own body, by the cold-bloodedness of Dornkirk). It’s no wonder he ends up picking strays and trying to save them/remake their fortune. He sees in them the pattern of his life, and in a way, expiation of his guilt for abandoning Van.
Btw, for a hurt/comfort whore, this show is heaven, btw. Wounded Van (all the time), wounded Allen, wounded Folken. Ahhhhh. And I love that Hitomi’s strength and goodness are not inexhaustible. She gets snappy or in a funk or whatever. And she can’t make up her mind Allen or Van. Almost like me :)
I have also decided that my favorite character is Allen though at times Van was giving him a run for his money especially when he was extracted all cut and bleeding and in hideous pain from binding himself to Escaflowne and then went to fight in it again, and when he was PTSDing about killing the dragon slayers. Or when he was trying to get Hitomi’s stopped heart to work. The fact that he doesn't want to kill, can't raise his sword even, but is being forced to, again and again, is heartbreaking, and Baby Van is the most adorable thing ever especially when his brother reads him the children’s book and he is “but that is so mean” re: killing of dragons. I want to adopt Baby Van, though considering what I want to do to the grown-up counterpart, that is perhaps troubling. But I digress.
Yes, Allen’s my favorite, which is unusual because usually I pick the guy who gets the girl or whatever. But I think in a way, Allen fits the most into the pattern of heroes I like: impossibly elegant, blond and blue eyed, most competent fighter, emotionally fucked-up (he and Van can bond over that), and willing to do some pretty “non-straightforward things” out of passion or in pursuit of good goals (I loved it when he held that thing to Prince Chid’s throat, a trusting and hero-worshipping kid, to have the guards let them out of jail (and it’s his own child!!!) and there is of course that thing with Marlene and their night(s?) of passion), and still managing to maintain their honor, but not bloodless propriety all the time.
I am also interested to see that there is not much shipping in the show (unlike in the fanfic). I mean, there are romantic feelings but they are proportional and realistic. Hitomi is after all 15, and not a modern Juliet. In fact, of all the relationships, the most interesting to me are often non-romantic: Folken and Van, for example, is riveting. Of all the romantic relationships, the one I find myself most interested in, is oddly enough Allen-Marlene-Millerna thing. Maybe because I love the fact that for once Allen (who seems to be all about control of himself) lost it, or maybe it’s the angsty doomed love of the “perfect golden knight” and the Princess who married someone else but ended up with a visible proof of her passion, or maybe even the realistic fact that she ended up loving her husband, the Duke of Freid after all, which is so realistic: she can never have Allen and she has a whole life ahead of her and she must move on and the Duke is an amazing guy if he acknowledged a son so clearly not his own). But probably it’s the fucked up element that Millerna brings into it. Because I do think that any feelings Allen has for her are because she looks like Marlene, and it would actually make a great fucked-up scenario for a fanfic if they did get together, but only with the lights off so Allen could pretend it’s Marlene and Millerna would know but would take what she can get. . Of course, this whole Marlene thing is why I think Allen-Millerna would never work out even if he genuinely fell for her, because Millerna would never be able to be secure, as she does look like Marlene and she’d be wondering if he loves her at least in part because he sees the shadow of her sister in her. In fact, one thing I want to happen before the show ends is for Millerna to make peace with what she should have and have it. I don’t care if it’s madly falling for Dryden, her arranged husband (he annoys me but I can see he is a good guy), if it’s running away with Allen in mad passion (though I can’t see Allen getting into a mad passion, mark 2), or even if it’s realizing that she wants to stay with Dryden because she likes him and he would make a good husband and she could never have Allen (who should seriously have a girl who does NOT look like his dead OTP) reciprocate anyway. I don’t care which one of the options she picks, but I really want her to actively choose and be at peace and happy with the option.
In any event, I think what Allen needs is not a OTP but his sister back, because it’s his failure while out with her, and her disappearance that has been haunting his life. In a way, he’s been trying to recreate the little sister thing with Hitomi, because while he might like her romantically just a bit, it’s really is the sister thing all over again, only this time he will save and protect her. I think both Van and Allen have these huge issues of abandonment and not being good enough. For Van, it’s because after his father died, his mother just wondered off, as if Van being there wasn’t good enough to keep her (very Arwen of her, and makes me think about how bad it would actually be to be the offspring of a great love story). And then his brother abandoned him, by either dying or running away. Of course, by the end, I think a great deal of this hurt is fixed for him, in part because he does see his mother again briefly, and in larger part because he finds out that Folken was neither a psycho nor a coward. And Allen has really similar abandonment issues. After his sister ran off, his mother just wasted away and died for her. So he, Allen, was also not good enough to give any meaning to her life (and of course, if she died because of Sis, that’s one more thing for Allen to blame himself for). And his father abandoned him and the whole family to look for mythical junk as if he Allen, wasn’t worth staying home for. It’s interesting that he keeps recreating this pattern in his further relationships. I get the feeling that he madly fell for Marlene, but the fact remains she wasn’t someone he could ever have, clearly, and she did end up marrying someone else. He isn’t interested in Millerna until Dryden comes on the scene and he thinks he will lose her (it’s as if he doesn’t want someone who just wants him with no competition. He is just recreating pattern where someone he likes picks someone else over him, over and over). But so far in the episodes, he’s also been getting fixed: that talk with his ghost!father, where he found out that while his father would never win father of the year but he did love Allen and family, did a great deal to help him. And so far, I think rescuing Hitomi on a regular basis is at least helping him deal with the abandonment of sis thing at least a bit. And I think meeting Prince Chid face to face was also a form of exorcism (of Marlene). And of course in a way, Folken is just as betrayed and abandoned (by the bizarre Fanelia customs, by his own body, by the cold-bloodedness of Dornkirk). It’s no wonder he ends up picking strays and trying to save them/remake their fortune. He sees in them the pattern of his life, and in a way, expiation of his guilt for abandoning Van.
Btw, for a hurt/comfort whore, this show is heaven, btw. Wounded Van (all the time), wounded Allen, wounded Folken. Ahhhhh. And I love that Hitomi’s strength and goodness are not inexhaustible. She gets snappy or in a funk or whatever. And she can’t make up her mind Allen or Van. Almost like me :)