Madness Fills My heart and soul as if the great divide had swallowed me whole.
Hey folks,
So I don't know who reads this anymore or rather who even cares. I need to write though. I have been wondering about my life too much lately. The days are filled with endless non-sense of what if's and when will I'. I suppose things have gotten much better I have hit my stride at Ingram I actually enjoy going to work now. I have an opp to make a splash but I am still looking ahead to move something I want. I guess I am just in a spot where I realize I am 26 I have great friends a great family but am I happy? I guess you could say I am. I suppose this all started when she walked back in my life. My feet quickly went out from under me just like the first day we met. I was in it all over again sinking like batman in Riddler's quick sand cake. Then as it always ocurs my heart went ary and I lost out on her again. Did my heart ever stop being with her? was I ever out of love? I don't know but what I realize now is no matter what happened between us I know deep down no matter how strong that love is was or could be. We have cards to chase on both sides of the table. I am not nearly ready to cash my chips in at all. I need to stay in to play that big hand and and hit that pot running! As much it may kill me if she hits her pot before mine I will learn I have plenty of cards left to chase.
Now if this seems like a bizarre rant or rave I suppose it is I just emptied my head. I have been thinking this for a while. Is this my end of this journal or am I just starting again? either way I know I will be back in bed now.
whoever still reads
I'll see ya when I see ya.
Marky
So I don't know who reads this anymore or rather who even cares. I need to write though. I have been wondering about my life too much lately. The days are filled with endless non-sense of what if's and when will I'. I suppose things have gotten much better I have hit my stride at Ingram I actually enjoy going to work now. I have an opp to make a splash but I am still looking ahead to move something I want. I guess I am just in a spot where I realize I am 26 I have great friends a great family but am I happy? I guess you could say I am. I suppose this all started when she walked back in my life. My feet quickly went out from under me just like the first day we met. I was in it all over again sinking like batman in Riddler's quick sand cake. Then as it always ocurs my heart went ary and I lost out on her again. Did my heart ever stop being with her? was I ever out of love? I don't know but what I realize now is no matter what happened between us I know deep down no matter how strong that love is was or could be. We have cards to chase on both sides of the table. I am not nearly ready to cash my chips in at all. I need to stay in to play that big hand and and hit that pot running! As much it may kill me if she hits her pot before mine I will learn I have plenty of cards left to chase.
Now if this seems like a bizarre rant or rave I suppose it is I just emptied my head. I have been thinking this for a while. Is this my end of this journal or am I just starting again? either way I know I will be back in bed now.
whoever still reads
I'll see ya when I see ya.
Marky