your translation's just a little off (lt/ng)

[dangerbears]

title: your translation's just a little off.
pairing: nick grimshaw/louis tomlinson (sorry)
disclaimer: hilariously untrue.
word count: ~9,500
summary: AU. so louis kind of doesn't like nick. like at all. really. he swears.
notes: okay OKAY DON'T YELL AT ME I'M REALLY SORRY, this is the one and only time this will happen, I'M JUST SO INTERESTED IN

Comments

[mozarts_piano]

Louis manages to receive an upwards of twenty comments on his arse, spanning the spectrum of complimentary to fucking illegal.
there's my little ray of sunshine! :D god, i am sick but this is the ultimate cure, lord. i am so excited for the bitchiness.

Greg James on drums
YES. OKAY. BEAUTIFUL.

"Aw," Nick coos. "Did the poor little pretty boy not find anyone good enough?"
Louis clenches his jaw.
yes. achieved. they would be like the ultimate set of bitches, like, everyone would want to be bffls with them but if you crossed them you'd be fucked.

Louis just worries, because if Harry sleeps with Nick, if Harry falls in love with Nick, and Nick hurts him, Louis will probably have to go to jail for murder.
but see that's why i love louis and nick so much irl because they can both tease the fuck out of harry and be awful to him but at the end of the day they both care so much about him and are so gentle and tender to him and hdjlkashakd also, yeah louis would be fucked (literally and figuratively) in prison.

Harry says, "Come on, Lou. Let's go home. I need some sleep."
"Okay," Louis says. "If you're sure."
always putting other people (and by that i mean harry) first. bless him.

"Nick's all bony and sharp and you're all soft and warm and cuddly."
Louis scoffs. "You're saying words, but all I'm hearing is fat fat fat fat."
AH there's just little snippets of sad mixed in with funny and i hate hate hate it.

Louis says, blowing gently into Harry's face so he has to squeeze his eyes shut.
this pleases me, as i have the exact same defense mechanism. good one lou.

Louis sometimes really regrets they never fell in love with each other, because the thought of ever living apart from Harry scares the fuck out of him.
every single word is my headcanon of rl, like fuck girl, how you get inside my head?!

Nick blinks a few times, still holding his glass like a dumbshit. "You... think you have... invisible leprosy...?"
"Leprosy of the soul," Louis supplies. "Yeah, that. That sounds good. That'll be the title of my memoir."
Nick's just staring at him now, and he mouths leprosy of the soul silently, shaking his head. "You, my dear, are fucking batshit."
oh my fucking god.
they're soul mates.

Nick's quiet for a moment, before bursting into loud laughter. "Oh, honey, no."
wow. i didn't know one could write such a patronizing statement. nick is beautiful i love you never stop please

"Jesus," Nick sighs. "I don't know. He is lovely. And kind, and funny, and cheeky, and gorgeous. But I just... don't? I don't know. He's a brilliant mate. And, fuck off, if you want him so much, why aren't you together?"
Louis cringes. "Because," he says.
"Because...?"
Louis shakes his head. "In twenty years, if we're both single, maybe. But he's just... I don't know. I don't want to do that to him."
"Do what to him, exactly?" Nick asks.
Louis almost smiles. "Me."
ARRRRRGGHGHGHGHG ALL THE HEAD CANONS, ALL THE TEARS, ALL THE BEAUTIFUL LOUIS FEELS ARRRBHGHGH

"Was I the luckiest boy alive last night and don't even remember it?" Harry asks, delighted, teasing.
you write the best harry and the best louis and the best nick, just give me all your secrets

.........yeah ok harold youre not invited
literally laughed one of those harry bark laughs, oh my god, universe: 0 nick:1

[mozarts_piano]

Nick expertly tears off a piece of his croissant and dips it in his hot chocolate. Louis watches, disgusted.
i must try that sometime. it sounds delicious.

"You're in public with me," Nick says. "Are you embarrassed?"
"Dreadfully," Louis responds. "Literally if anyone I know sees us, I'm ducking under the table."
but they're both so witty and good!

Louis grins wickedly. "Wouldn't you like to know?" he says, glancing up at Nick through his eyelashes.
literally, tommo the fucking tease, jesus christ lou. i can't even imagine the band on tour buses, he'd just say something sexual and then walk off, get into his bed and go to sleep and the rest of them would just be like - well fuck me, and sit there all awkwardly in their arousal. yep.

"Alex," he says, shaking Louis' hand and winking, before looking back to Nick. "Grimmy, what a delicious opening gift, I'm so honoured. If you see anything that inspires you, Louis, please just say the word." He winks lewdly.
ugh. actually just like, shuddered. ohmygod. uggggh ick. (also i love that you spell things the british/canadian way, it pleases me)

Nick shakes his head. "You make me look bad just standing there, kiddo," he says.
i love louis-is-prettier-than-everyone fic. it makes me so happy.

Harry just looks at him. He says quietly, "It wouldn't be bad if you did, you know."
yep. heart broken. nbd, nbd.

"Ooh, feisty," says the creep. "I like that. Are you a screamer? Do you scratch? Bite back?"
ICK ICK ICK ICK ICK

"He good in bed?" the guy's saying. "He a screamer? He looks like he can take it hard, can't you, babe?"
Louis just looks at Nick, saying nothing.
"Right," Nick says, and punches the guy in the face.
scratch that - universe: 0 nick:2

Harry stares blearily at Nick. "Are you new? I go like, hey, Grimmy, truth or dare? And then you choose one, and-"
"No, fuckhead," Nick says. "I know how fucking truth or dare works. I was twelve once, too-"
literally all i want in life is to experience a drunk harry styles in person. that is all.

"I dared it, and so it is law!" Harry cries.
darling boy, that isn't how it works

He crawls over to Harry on his hands and knees, burying his face in Harry's neck.
Harry's hands come to wrap around his waist, and he presses a kiss to Louis' hair. "Bedtime, love?" he whispers.
but louis, sweetheart, you can't always just fall back to harry D:

Harry mumbles something incoherent and turns over, flopping his face into the pillow.
"Harry!" Louis says again, tickling at his ribs.
"Fuck off, what," Harry grunts.
i don't even want to think about how many times this had probably definitely happened irl. so good.

"Okay, boy genius, what I'm saying is, like." He stops and rubs a hand over his face. "Fuck, okay. I've liked you, you little brat.
AHHHHH!!!! AHA! AHA. right. yep. might have just cheered.

After a moment of them sitting in a bakery over stupid fucking posh croissants, smiling at each other, Nick says, "I hope you realise I'm going to hold the fuck out of your hand."
o m g

i am dead. this is - i am dead. you are brilliant and wonderful and i am dead. and this needs to happen right now fuck.