If I can't have happiness, give me hope
I feel contented for the first time in a long time. Things are not perfect. If fact, some things are still really bad and I still have moments where I feel things I'd rather not admit to and remember. But it feels in perspective at the moment.
I went caroling and I forgot how much I love singing. I sang to an elderly woman who reminded me of my Great Grandmother. She cried during O Holy Night and so did I. My night also included a lot of eating oranges, talking to people I don't know, and laughing with Keziah and Ms. Karr and Jeri...
As people come back, I see how they've progressed and wonder if I have or if it's enough or if it's what I want, but I'm feeling more now that it is what it is. That sounds like a stupid answer for a lot of things I worry about these days, but it's inevitably true. I hope I can start letting go of all I don’t hold control of which pretty much includes disease, disasters, and other people. Easier said than done… But what I’ve been able to let go of makes me feel more settled and helped me focus on what I can do instead of wasting so much time with the can’t.
I'm trying to chill and find some space of my own. I'm trying to be more confident and share with people who care my music and other carefully hidden things. I'm trying to be progressive and adapt and be happy.
I'm so excited by all the potential of the people I can reconnect with in the next few weeks and I'm so thankful for all of them and I hope all these plans come to fruition.
I hope I can hold on to this feeling. :) And maybe share a little.
I went caroling and I forgot how much I love singing. I sang to an elderly woman who reminded me of my Great Grandmother. She cried during O Holy Night and so did I. My night also included a lot of eating oranges, talking to people I don't know, and laughing with Keziah and Ms. Karr and Jeri...
As people come back, I see how they've progressed and wonder if I have or if it's enough or if it's what I want, but I'm feeling more now that it is what it is. That sounds like a stupid answer for a lot of things I worry about these days, but it's inevitably true. I hope I can start letting go of all I don’t hold control of which pretty much includes disease, disasters, and other people. Easier said than done… But what I’ve been able to let go of makes me feel more settled and helped me focus on what I can do instead of wasting so much time with the can’t.
I'm trying to chill and find some space of my own. I'm trying to be more confident and share with people who care my music and other carefully hidden things. I'm trying to be progressive and adapt and be happy.
I'm so excited by all the potential of the people I can reconnect with in the next few weeks and I'm so thankful for all of them and I hope all these plans come to fruition.
I hope I can hold on to this feeling. :) And maybe share a little.