(no subject)
I figured this song was appropriate. Especially now. Especially with how I've been feeling lately. Especially with what's been bothering me... a lot... lately. Especially with all the rumours... and unfathomably painful hurt.
Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl
Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl
Every so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in
Blithe smile, lithe limb
She's who's winsome, she wins him
Brown hair with no stupid curl
That's the girl he chose
And Heaven knows
I'm not that girl
Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl
Best Wicked song on the soundtrack. Best song in the world.
Yes, I listen to songs that depress me further when I'm already depressed to begin with. Helps me feel not so alone. Even though I am. Gives me something that I can pretend cares. Like the song was written specially for me. Even though it wasn't. But I can make myself think that I guess.
My sister didn't come home this weekend like she said she would. Now I have no support whatsoever. She really needs to live home again. It's so much harder without her here all the time. Then again... I never realized how awesome and how much I really needed her until she went away. But at least because she's not coming home I don't have to deal with seeing her go again. Because it feels like she's leaving me all alone when she leaves. Like that weekend that I spent crying all day every day. And she left before I'd gotten home that Sunday afternoon. And it felt like she just abandoned me.
Please make it all go away.
Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl
Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl
Every so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in
Blithe smile, lithe limb
She's who's winsome, she wins him
Brown hair with no stupid curl
That's the girl he chose
And Heaven knows
I'm not that girl
Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl
Best Wicked song on the soundtrack. Best song in the world.
Yes, I listen to songs that depress me further when I'm already depressed to begin with. Helps me feel not so alone. Even though I am. Gives me something that I can pretend cares. Like the song was written specially for me. Even though it wasn't. But I can make myself think that I guess.
My sister didn't come home this weekend like she said she would. Now I have no support whatsoever. She really needs to live home again. It's so much harder without her here all the time. Then again... I never realized how awesome and how much I really needed her until she went away. But at least because she's not coming home I don't have to deal with seeing her go again. Because it feels like she's leaving me all alone when she leaves. Like that weekend that I spent crying all day every day. And she left before I'd gotten home that Sunday afternoon. And it felt like she just abandoned me.
Please make it all go away.