from social to self

Mar 03, 2005 05:13

A review on Amazon for one of the books on Derluguian's reading list ends with this sentence:  'It's also refreshing to see the reflexive method of recognizing that we do ourselves much of what we accuse others of doing.'  The reviewer was referring to liberals and conservatives.  But I always do this--I always take general statements and selfishly ( Read more... )

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forcemajeure March 26 2005, 13:32:41 UTC
I went through a phase of not wanting to talk about other people at all, more because it seemed trivial than petty. I gave up on that for reasons similar to yours, though I find that, like many things, a little bit of it goes a long way. I still have a low threshold for it, and after the useful purpose of it has been met, I need to change the subject or drift away from the conversation. Trashing someone -- even someone who richly deserves it -- reaches a point of diminishing returns pretty quickly, and grows stale when there is nothing new or insightful to add.

This is true even of the most profoundly evil people. Sitting around, talking about how much Hitler sucked, gets old if there isn't something new added to the discussion, some new thought about the nature of evil, the dynamics of mass hysteria, or something like that. And he's Hitler for cryin' out loud, not just the asshole who plays his music too loud at three in the morning even though he knows better. Sometimes I think this is why people in my family who survived the Shoah rarely talk amongst themselves about it; obviously some of it is because it's too ugly and painful, but beyond a certain point, commiseration is just draining.

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