(no subject)
So ive decided south carolinas not all that bad. its nothing compared to new york and i will never call it home but it will have to do for now. thigs get better as the days go by, they get a little easier too. although sometimes i really wish things could go back to how they were, i have to be realistic. As much as i miss everything about new york and monroe and my friends i know i wont be living there so i cant let myself sulk about it. Some days are much harder then others, i mean sometimes i just wanna call my best friends and cry to them and tell them how much i hate it here, and other days i cant stop smiling. Im slowly realizing that things will change with my friends and i cant expect to go to NY and have everything the same...its almost like a harsh reality. Dont get me wrong, south carolina's a really nice place and its filled with very nice people. Like when i used to come here for spring break with bec we loved it, we always had fun even if we stayed home all day, its just an enjoyable place to be. When i first got here i was so miserable and i wanted nothing to do with anyone...i didnt want anyone to talk to me or even look at me, and i realized that that will only make this harder on me. not talking to anyone will only make the whole situation worse then it already was. im starting to open up more but its hard to let my guard down, ive never had to explain my past to anyone because my best friends were there with me through it all. Ive never had to tell people about myself or anything, and at first it was so hard to do that. I didnt want people to get the wrong impression of me.
No matter where i am i know my friends will always listen and i will always be there for them, and that helps me pull through a lot, but at the same time knowing that theyre out having all this fun doing things we all used to do together and i cant be there kills me. i love them all to death and i would do anything for them, and i hope they know that. whether i show it or not, i will always be there for them and they'll always be there for me. yes i know im only 15 and i still have a lot of time to grow but you just know who your real friends are once you hit a certainpoint. I just cant wait to see them all again and just have fun and be me, i miss them more then anything in the world.
i had lots to say so yeah<3
No matter where i am i know my friends will always listen and i will always be there for them, and that helps me pull through a lot, but at the same time knowing that theyre out having all this fun doing things we all used to do together and i cant be there kills me. i love them all to death and i would do anything for them, and i hope they know that. whether i show it or not, i will always be there for them and they'll always be there for me. yes i know im only 15 and i still have a lot of time to grow but you just know who your real friends are once you hit a certainpoint. I just cant wait to see them all again and just have fun and be me, i miss them more then anything in the world.
i had lots to say so yeah<3